Or do I talk to dh?

(14 Posts)
Lookinatu Thu 22-Sep-16 21:19:11

Posted last weekend dh is massively stressed and tired with ds and a newborn. Anyway had a good chat and decided he will try to get some him time every weekend.
Anyway I am on maternity leave at the minute and ds has just started school so I am with them all day. Ds goes to bed about 7.30 and dd is struggling to sleep as she has a cold and needs to be held. I have done this every night this week (sometimes until 12am) and dh will sit downstairs and watch TV and relax. Now I am lying in bed trying to settle dd thinking I am not having anytime to do anything else, and have had 15 minutes adult conversation all day. I am upset about this should I speak to dh or just pass it off as hormones?

arethereanyleftatall Thu 22-Sep-16 21:22:28

I don't get this. There's two adults at home looking after one newborn, plus one child after school. Is that right? Why can't you take it tu Be to have shit loads of 'me' time, or adult conversation? I must have this wrong.

longdiling Thu 22-Sep-16 21:24:56

I'd say he's having plenty of him time, what is he so stressed about exactly when you're doing it all?

Lookinatu Thu 22-Sep-16 21:28:37

Apologies are don't really understand the message but dh is in work all day. He has come home I have started to get kids ready for bed ( lack of in my case) and he's gone downstairs to watch TV. I am upstairs trying to get ds to stay in bed and settle dd to sleep. Apologies if I am not clear I had 2 hours sleep last night and my phone likes to pick it's own words.

Lookinatu Thu 22-Sep-16 21:31:35

long I am just going to say it, i just want him to come up and talk to me for a bit or if hes not feeling chatty take over for a hour so I can get a cup of tea and watch some crap TV.

arethereanyleftatall Thu 22-Sep-16 21:32:15

In that case, it doesn't sound like he's doing anything then. What is he stressed about?

ShouldHaveBeenJess Thu 22-Sep-16 21:36:20

In other words, you want to feel like an adult human being for part of the day. Tell him. It's not fair. He gets to talk to people at work while you're battling on alone.

Not hormones, not unreasonable, just completely natural.

slightlypeevedwombat Thu 22-Sep-16 21:42:16

with most people you need to actually tell them what you want them to do - what you want is not a lot, but i bet he hasnt even thought of it.

just say to him "i'd like to spend some time with you in the evening"

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 22-Sep-16 21:47:21

So he was stressed, you took over everything. Now he gets to sit on his arse while do do 100% of the parenting day and night? That about right?

Jimbob1 Thu 22-Sep-16 21:55:07

My DH can happily leave me to get on with things and because I don't complain, he thinks I am happy with it/don't require help.
Talk to him or he won't have a clue how you feel!

ThereIsIron Thu 22-Sep-16 21:57:48

He just sounds like a lazy fucker. Is he the father of the children hmm

SuePermario Thu 22-Sep-16 22:02:47

'Him time' lol what a joke I bet he has lots of that everyday. You said he works but at his lunch time he can sit down n eat his pot noodle in peace, I bet you can't do that can you? You need to tell him to get off his arse n do a bit more

Nan0second Thu 22-Sep-16 22:05:33

Take baby downstairs. They should be sleeping in the same room as you anyway. Hand baby over to husband.
Go for a bath, sleep or watch tv.
Don't martyr yourself.

MrsSecker Thu 22-Sep-16 22:20:52

Fuck that! 'Him' time?!?! Tell him he can have him time when the kids leave home. For now you need support and he needs to do his share! My DH has never ever used the 'I've been at work' excuse, he comes home and we crack on with stuff together, tea, baths etc. Don't be so soft!

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