Was I horribly rude?

(33 Posts)
AbitQwerty Thu 22-Sep-16 20:03:51

This may get long, bear with!

A short while ago on my way home from work, I stopped in at my local CoOp for a few bits for tea. The queue was really long, and they had 2 cashiers on, but had just called for a third.

The third cashier came and set up at the till right next to where I was standing. As she was setting up I hung back and was trying to catch the eyes of people in the queue who were further up. I managed to signal to 3 women in front of me by nodding my head towards the till. They all smiled and shook their heads. The bloke further up the queue never looked in my direction.

The cashier was now ready and no one had moved. I hovered and looked towards the queue again and everyone was minding their own business, perhaps because if anyone else had crossed to the till they would have virtually had to shove past me. So as the cashier started trying to flag people over, I stepped forward.

Obviously the bloke had seen the cashier wave and turned at that point. So all he saw was the woman at the end of the queue step forward. He was behind me in a second (crossing in front of the 3 other women), loudly saying "It's horribly rude when people push in like that!"

I stepped back and in an equally loud voice said "I'm sorry, I stepped forward because no one else had, but by all means go ahead of me!" Probably a little passive aggressive, but I had had every intention of not queue jumping.

He made a big song and dance of being nice to the cashier, "Thanks darling, you're a treasure!" With pointed looks over his shoulder at me to show I was not. When he did that I smiled and winked at him.

Whilst he was paying, I had hung back again and once again was offering for the other 3 women to go in front, all said no again.

So, was I horribly rude and should I have absolutely refused to go in front of anyone? I've had plenty of people bulldoze me out of the way in the same situation before, but never said anything.

BifsWif Thu 22-Sep-16 20:05:30

No you weren't rude, he was.

Catsize Thu 22-Sep-16 20:05:55

If he had a reasonable time in which to move, I think you were fine.

SwedishEdith Thu 22-Sep-16 20:06:09

He was a dick. It's every basket for itself when a new till opens.

Sirzy Thu 22-Sep-16 20:06:16

You didn't rush to get to the front so I don't see a problem.

TowerRavenSeven Thu 22-Sep-16 20:09:23

Not at all. I give people 30 seconds to move over and if they don't they lose out.

Soubriquet Thu 22-Sep-16 20:09:37

Nope not rude.

Over taking someone to get to the till first is rude

Giving someone a chance to go and then going yourself is polite

Hassled Thu 22-Sep-16 20:13:10

No you weren't rude but what's baffling in your tale is why 3 different women chose to continue to queue rather than be served by Cashier Number 3. Did she have two heads or something?

AbitQwerty Thu 22-Sep-16 20:15:33

There was definitely plenty of time for people to have moved forward - I was still shopping when they put out the call and I only joined the queue as the cashier sat down at the till. Usually people have already moved by that point!

He was actually the next person at the second till. If he'd stayed put he would have been served quicker as by the time he was complaining about me the woman behind him was being served at the second till! When I'm in a similar queue position I don't bother moving!

Glad to know I wasn't BU.

AbitQwerty Thu 22-Sep-16 20:19:00

I was a bit baffled too, as one had a small child with them, but they (woman and child) seemed to be having a good time.

One wanted the till with the kiosk, so I can understand that.

I think the last one just wasn't overly bothered.

buttercup54321 Thu 22-Sep-16 20:27:21

He was very rude. You weren't at all x

Sellingyesterdaysnews Thu 22-Sep-16 20:30:45

I usually say out loudmouth would you like to go in front' because it should be the nearest to the front get first dibs on the new till.. It makes me cross when people dash over to the front from the back, and lots do.
So I don't think YBBU because it was unintentional, but it could have looked as if you were pushing in and you could have been nice about it rather than a bit patronising.. He was ahead of you after all.

Sellingyesterdaysnews Thu 22-Sep-16 20:31:15

Out loud

FlyingElbows Thu 22-Sep-16 20:34:03

No you weren't horribly rude but it's far more effective to speak to people than to try signalling.

JenLindleyShitMom Thu 22-Sep-16 20:35:23

Why on earth didn't you just speak to the people infront and tell them there was a new till open? confused instead of silly nodding and hoping everyone would look at you? Why would they?

toastytoastbear Thu 22-Sep-16 20:38:10

the cashier should have called someone forward. but that's not the point of the thread

loobyloo1234 Thu 22-Sep-16 20:38:31

British etiquette at it's finest. A nation of queuers ... we must be batshit crazy. You were not rude btw, he was. He should have been more alert ... idiot ... nice one winking though. I would have probably had to mutter something sarcastically very loud though wink

SoleBizzz Thu 22-Sep-16 20:40:16

Yanbu

There is always a huge queue in the co-op never enough tolls open. I avoid it as much as possible. Too slow.

mycatwantstokillme1 Thu 22-Sep-16 20:47:27

you should have said in a very loud voice to him

I insist, you MUST go first, is it because your piles are playing up again?

Whenever I get on a train where men are taking up two seats cos their legs are splayed apart I say to my son 'Dear me there are quite a few men on this train with bollockitis today, poor sods" (bollockitis = common but not often talked about condition where the testicles are so big and swollen man has to sit with his legs spread as far apart as possible especially on public transport)

Casmama Thu 22-Sep-16 20:49:45

I think if this happened a while ago and you are still thinking about it that you need to move on. I don't mean this unkindly but I wonder if you get overly-anxious on a regular basis.

2kids2dogsnosense Thu 22-Sep-16 20:53:50

Agree with Swedish

You could get killed in the rush when a till opens at our Co-op. There's skin and hair all over the walls! grin

ohtheholidays Thu 22-Sep-16 20:54:34

No you weren't rude but he was.

It's funny you've put this on today.I was in a charity shop today and a lady was being served,I was behind her in the queue,it was taking along time for her to be served but I took no notice.

I go to step forward to be served and the lady that had been infront on me turned to another lady that was stood over by the door and said alright,the lady she asked stared at me and said No Not Really I've been stood here ages waiting to just buy these cards and stormed past the other lady to get infront of me.

Now honestly she'd just turned up as I stepped forward to get served and was no where near the queue,she'd been near the door of the shop, the till is half way down the shop no where near the door.

So she starts mumbling about me and slating me,so I turned and said oh no that's okay you can serve that lady,to the lady on the till.The horrible women turns round mouth wide open steps forward to gets served and then says oh are you sure.

The lady on the till said sorry to me,I told her not to worry it wasn't her fault.

Low and behold we go outside and the miserable mare was shopping with her friend the lady that took ages to get served!
Bloody arse,she had to wait along time(all of 10 minutes)because of her friend but had a go at me!

I'm sodding disabled as well and constantly in pain!
I honestly think some people only go out of they're houses so they can bloody moan at everyone else around them and take offence at nothing

SwedishEdith Thu 22-Sep-16 20:57:00

grin @ the "out loudmouth" autocorrect grin

oobedobe Thu 22-Sep-16 20:58:18

Oh you weren't rude. I possibly was. I walked up to the self-check out, there were two people ahead of me, but I could see at least 2 if not 3 tills available.

After waiting for about half a minute I could tell the first people in the line were actually waiting for assistance about something and not lined up to pay, the other woman in front of me had a large trolley with loads of water bottles in (which would have taken ages to scan). I had one small item and my family waiting outside. So impulsively I dashed ahead to one of the available tills.

Well woman with trolley was livid with me, started shouting "there was a line" "how rude" and getting all het up (even though she could see there were plenty of available tills). I feign selective deafness, finished paying and walked out. Not my usual polite self but I needed to be quick and they were all dithering!!!

HanYOLO Thu 22-Sep-16 21:02:03

You know what?
No you weren't rude
He was.
You shouldn't have let him go in front of you.
He was being a selfabsorbed twat throughout.
Give it no more thought

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