There have been a fair few threads about foster children being treated differently with family's to hard or to soft
Aibu to think people don't realise your not a law on to yourself and can't just do what you want some social workers and birth parents are fab and just let you get on meaning to can do as you see fit but some sw and birth parents are a nightmare wanting to control evey aspect of the child from a far even trying to tell you what they want you to feed the children
when your thinking about behavioural management as a foster carer you having to take on board the views of the following people
The child's social worker
Your social worker
The Health visitor
The reviewing officer
The child's guardian
Nursey
gp
And the birth parents
All will have Diffrent views of how things should be done often a plan is made and you the one who actually looks after the child has to try and follow it
Also even for foster carers of older children because your not the legal parent they can always appeal to there sw about any punishment that is given I would imagine most people would find parenting diffcult if Somone else had a Vito over any punishment you dished out
For for example I may take away pocket money from my children but my foster child's sw may not agree with that course of reprimand so you can't do it hence your child and the foster child end up being treated Diffrently is easily done
And on another note the children may need to be treated Diffrently due to therapeutic reasons I am quite a shouty mum usually but we did have one little girl that I absolutely couldn't be this way with she was way to fragile
I would like to think I loved all the children as my own but it saddens me to say I couldn't treat them as my own I simply wasn't allowed to
I had children who were not allowed to attend Cubs and because of there legal status I had to go along with it I had one child who I couldn't take on Hoilday eveyone went to Disney land birth mum would give over the passport to be fair sw tried everything she wouldn't have it in the end my kids went with there dad and I stayed at home with my FC however we ened up having this girl for 4 years and tbh I needed a Hoilday so we put her in respite when we went away I guess it did look like we were dumping her and running off on Hoilday with our own kids to People who didn't know us but what things look like and the reality of getting passports off birth parents or getting to sighn consent forms for clubs or party's when there trying to retain every bit of control is a nightmare
That's what most don't foster it's bloody hard
In a ideal world the sw would just give you the children trust the assments they have done and let you get on not many foster carers experience fostering like that.🙁
Any questions please ask as I am sure myself and all the lovey mumsnet foster carers will be happy to answer
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AIBU?
To think many people don't understand fostering
109 replies
Thefishewife · 22/09/2016 15:54
OP posts:
MrsDeVere ·
22/09/2016 17:40
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