To be annoyed and to think people should mind their own business?

(6 Posts)
BarryTheKestrel Thu 22-Sep-16 15:49:05

When I was pregnant with DD, Dh's cousin was also expecting, due a month before me. Our children are now 18 months old.

They have just announced they are pregnant again. Since then at least 7 people have asked when we are planning our second and that we really should hurry up.

Each of these people knows that in the past year I have had some concerning gyne issues and am awaiting an all clear in January before we can even consider another baby. They all know January is the earliest we could start trying and if the news isn't good we may not have another child. Getting pregnant before an all clear would be foolish as it would delay treatment should the worst be the outcome which would obviously seriously impact on my health.

I am worried enough about the potential outcome, despite being almost certain I'll get the all clear that worry is still there. They all know this.

AIBU to think that considering the background they shouldn't have asked the question?

I am obviously very happy for DH's cousin, I just don't understand why whenever anyone is pregnant people have to start asking other people of childbearing age when they are going to have one/another. In most cases you don't know what's going on in people's lives and it can really upset people who can't have children for whatever reason or are having medical issues.

Maybe I'm just being sensitive because of my situation.

Lizaveta Thu 22-Sep-16 15:51:51

I think people talk before thinking. Sorry this upset you, it not fun situation for you to be in. Good luck for you in January.

Bonywasawarriorwayayix Thu 22-Sep-16 15:58:31

YANBU if they know. A lovely volunteer at DS's playgroup kept on asking, so I took a deep breath and explained about my MC and deciding not to try again. "Oh, but you never know. You might change your mind".

People are idiots. Sorry for your problems. I hope it works out well for you flowers

melibu84 Thu 22-Sep-16 15:58:31

Even if you weren't having medical problems, i would say people shouldn't ask!

If anyone asks me about another one, I'll turn around and say "only if we have another accident" and enjoy the expression on their face :D

BarryTheKestrel Thu 22-Sep-16 20:39:10

Thanks for making me feel a bit better. Sorry to those of you also encountering the insensitivity of people who speak before they think.
Had a bit of a chat with MIL earlier and she said she realised the mistake she made as it left her mouth and that DSIL and DHs aunt mentioned afterwards that they had forgotten my issues, even though they'd been discussed about 20mins before this. I know I was being sensitive but glad I'm not totally unreasonable.

Thatsmeinthecorner2016 Thu 22-Sep-16 21:07:31

People shouldn't ask. They still will. I just shrugged it off saying not now. I knew they meant no harm and my reasons were really specific.

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