Best things about being a lone parent

(19 Posts)
OhhBetty Thu 22-Sep-16 07:56:41

I became a lone parent to my 18 month old a few weeks ago. Everyone only seems to talk about the negatives and how hard it is. It is hard and I'm not ashamed to admit I am terrified most days!

So, aibu to ask for all the best things about being a lone parent?

user1471499349 Thu 22-Sep-16 08:02:32

Being in charge of my own destiny. Only having to worry about what suits me and DS. Freedom to do the house how I like, work where I want and generally please myself.

Tryingtostayyoung Thu 22-Sep-16 08:03:35

I'm not a lone parent but I can imagine that a big plus would be that you don't have to consult anyone on your day to day decisions to do with your child. I find that one of the most challenging things, there has to be a lot of give and take if you don't agree on everything parenting related which I find really hard as when it's your child you want to do what you think is best which isn't always possible if your DH has a completely different opinion. IYSWIM?

Toomuchnoise97 Thu 22-Sep-16 08:23:45

I have done it and honestly once you are over the shock and get into your own routine, it's ok !

For me it was as a pp said, you can make the decisions without recourse to anyone else, the routine is one you create and can live to without having to accommodate another adult's wishes.

I have married friends either kids who said they don't know how I did it, but honestly I never felt like that.

ExtraMushroomsPlease Thu 22-Sep-16 08:29:42

I love that me and DD can just do what we want! So a DVD night with blankets and sweets in the living room, had a last minute holiday to Spain last month, deciding to go for tea after school. Doesn't sound anything much, but just the fact we don't have to consider anybody else we can just do what works for us.

Honestly it gets easier flowers

OhhBetty Thu 22-Sep-16 09:45:22

Thanks everyone! It's definitely reassuring to know it gets easier!

It's been about 6 weeks and I actually feel fine. I'm just waiting to crash as apparently it always happens! It's mainly bedtime I find stressful as it's a nightmare getting him to sleep at the moment and it kind of hits me that it's just me, with nobody to help me. So I'm pleased to have some positive thoughts to get me through!

Unlockable Thu 22-Sep-16 09:51:48

I love it. I can parent my children as I would like to, they get complete consistency and know where they stand. Being single is good and being a single parent is better. I have the best relationship with my children and even now they are older they are very affectionate and we communicate very well.
And I'll never have to clean up another adults mess again grin

MrsBertBibby Thu 22-Sep-16 09:56:12

You can have your lovely baby in bed with you whenever you please!

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair Thu 22-Sep-16 09:58:29

And you don't have to deal with the bedtime traumas on your own whilst someone else sits and relaxes on the sofa expecting you to have served up the dinner, bathed and fed the baby, cleaned up to his standards and all the other shite a lot of men expect from their partners.

Enjoy!!

Ldnmum2015 Thu 22-Sep-16 10:07:19

The best thing is you are responsible for everything, and you don't have a lump criticising you. Because you are single you will find some people, ( grown up types) will help you out with bringing up your child while some women will be a bit distant as they will see you as being single a threat. I met many grown ups and although some times I was extremely lonely I also felt looked out for.

Rinoachicken Thu 22-Sep-16 10:13:45

Thanks for this thread OP, I'm a new single mum as well and really reassured reading these!

Ldnmum2015 Thu 22-Sep-16 10:14:28

And yes, it does get alot easier, as the routine changes, plus you get more confident too.

GreatFuckability Thu 22-Sep-16 10:15:22

I love being a single parent. I get to do things how i like, when i like. no negative voice in the background. I love my childfree time when they are with their dad (I appreciate not all single parents get this, and I'm very aware that the space makes it easier to cope day to day).

CwtchMeQuick Thu 22-Sep-16 10:20:40

I love being a lone parent! For me one of the best feelings is watching DS grow and succeed and knowing that I taught him those things. I taught him to be kind and generous and confident. He is growing into such a lovely little boy and I know that that is down to me and me alone, and the way I am raising him.

At his nursery graduation recently the manager took me to one side to tell me I should be proud of how I'm raising him and that every success is my success too.

I also love not having to fit in with anyone else. If we want to stay in our pjs all day we do, if we want a day trip to the beach then we go. Having that freedom was the one thing that got me through the very early days.

Ldnmum2015 Thu 22-Sep-16 10:30:16

Also the first year for me was the hardest, she was about 6 months when he left, around Christmas time, he spent another year tooing and frooing wanting to see the baby, but unable to take on the responsibility. Once he was gone, I could just crack on with my role, which led me to go out and meet other mums and create a new life for myself. Once I was in control and my child was my priority everything feel into place. I wouldn't of chosen to ro it alone, but I did the best within my capability with what i had.

MooseAndSquirrel Thu 22-Sep-16 10:44:36

I was a single mum to DD1 right from the off for six years and I swear it was easier doing it myself than watching my friends with rubbish partners.
now I've been a single mum to two girls for the last year terrible taste in men, it seems
I've never "crashed" as people told me I would, sure it gets lonely some times, but knowing im doing it by myself is always easier than thinking you have support and being let down.
how my kids are raised is my choice, we all know what needs doing and there's no drama.
My kids don't have rows around them, and im only raising two lovely little girls - instead of two girls and a man child wink
Things like bed times will get easier as you both find what works for you. As it is just you, you may not have help, but you also have free rein to be consistent and no one interferes smile

tattoosandteadresses Thu 22-Sep-16 11:05:19

I've been single from I was pregnant with dc2. Yep it's tough at times but the freedom is a big bonus. I can do what I want within restraints of childcare and money, parent as I want, no-one to answer to what I spend my money on, make what I want for dinner and have meat free days which ex always said wasn't a proper dinner, no other adult to clean up after and explain 'what I've done all day' hmm. Not having to share a bed except for snuggly little people or deal with his horrendous snoring. Shall I go on? grin

OhhBetty Thu 22-Sep-16 12:09:24

I love all these!

Being able to have ds in bed with me is lovely. And nobody pissing me off by just watching tv/being on his phone to other women whilst I do everything!

tattoosandteadresses yes do go on if there's more!!

Ldnmum2015 Thu 22-Sep-16 13:58:43

Ah yes, most important you get the remote control

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