To feel my wish for another baby is taking over my life?

(8 Posts)
MawbrayMammy Thu 22-Sep-16 06:22:25

I have one child born via IVF. Ive been told it's very very unlikely to work again (without saying so explicitly, I got the distinct impression the consultant thought it was a waste of time). It's stressful so I can't face going through it again for it not to work. The problem is, I'm spending more and more time wishing for another baby. Every time I hear about someone falling pregnant I try to focus on being happy for them but I can't get over the feeling of wanting to cry and feeling sick because I wish it was me. This has been the case since my child was born but it seems to be getting worse. Now a very close family member is pregnant and I feel sick every time I think about it. I just want to share her joy. I feel like such a horrible person and I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself but I really don't know what to do.

Lalalalalaa Thu 22-Sep-16 06:27:23

You're not a horrible person flowers

This sounds totally normal reaction to a very difficult situation. My heart goes out to you. We struggled to conceive and I remember feeling desperate and trying so hard to feel happy for others getting pregnant but each announcement felt like a blow to the stomach.

If you want to try again and feel that you're able to go through it again then don't let anyone put you off. Do you have support from your partner and family who you can talk this through with?

SageYourResoluteOracle Thu 22-Sep-16 06:36:34

Oh OP. I feel for you. I'm in an identical situation complete with close family member (my sister) pregnant. I feel panicky when I think about my new niece or nephew's arrival (second child for her) as it just feels so unfair.

You're not a horrible person. Infertility is utterly shit.

MsJuniper Thu 22-Sep-16 06:42:11

Similar situation here too - desperately want a baby, had 4 mc since DS, now time is running out age-wise and a family member is pregnant. Sorry I can't help but can offer sympathy and some understanding.

SolomanDaisy Thu 22-Sep-16 06:48:59

Are you having any counselling support? Infertility is awful and it
sounds like you need help coming to terms with both the difficulties you had conceiving your child and the fact that your family is complete before you'd like it to be.

Mammyofonlyone Thu 22-Sep-16 06:53:49

Thanks for your messages. Actually coming out and 'saying it' does feel a bit better, as does knowing Other people feel similarly in terms of feeling like a bad person. I just don't want to end up bitter and twisted, especially with a beautiful new baby joining our family soon. I'm sorry for your losses too.

I hadn't thought of counselling. I'll ask at my doctors, I feel as though I have to do something before it starts impacting on more parts of my life or, even worse, impacting on my family relationships.

Thank you

Mummyoflittledragon Thu 22-Sep-16 07:12:07

I had IVF. In the same position as you because of health issues as opposed to fertility. IVF ruined my health.

It was really hard to mourn the loss of not being able to have another child. I had counselling. Not specifically for that but it did come up and I did a lot of personal work.

DD would have been the perfect elder sibling and she also has had to go through the pain of not having a sibling as she desperately wants one. She's 8.

It will get easier.

Tryingtostayyoung Thu 22-Sep-16 08:00:41

Op I'm not in your exact position but I know the feeling of the want taking over your life. DH and I had been ttc for 7months, finally fell pregnant and then MC. The want for a baby literally consumes my entire life so I can only imagine how it is affecting you. Stay strong and focus on the positives xxx flowers

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