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AIBU?

To write a letter to his parents?

23 replies

NoFucksImAQueen · 21/09/2016 15:02

Just driving on the school run and a young boy on a motorbike crosser thing came up behind me. Dh is a biker so I have nothing against them and I'm always overly aware of them as I know how many near misses he's had where people just haven't seen him.
Anyway this lads driving? was scary to witness, he was right up my arse then decided to go beside me at the junction even though I was turning right and he nearly pulled out in front of a car.
Over the space of the 2 roads he nearly crashed twice and my heart was in my throat watching him.
Would I be unreasonable to write a polite note to his parents from a concerned view just saying that I fear he might hurt himself?
If that was my son id want to know

OP posts:

Report

NoFucksImAQueen · 21/09/2016 15:03

Should add I saw the house he pulled in at which is why I could pop a note through. I don't know him or his parents

OP posts:

CaspoFungin · 21/09/2016 15:05

Is he a child then?

IceBeing · 21/09/2016 15:05

I don't know if YABU but we sent a letter to a school because their were kids in their uniform running across a dual carriageway scaring the shit out of me and DH.

The school said they had acted and thanked us....but may have declared us interferring busybodies...who knows?

SecondTimeIsBetter · 21/09/2016 15:05

I'd be more likely to report to the police!

OnlyAFoolsChance · 21/09/2016 15:36

There's a teenage lad like this at my kids high school, trying to get out of there is madness at the best of times so to have him against my bumper I have to admit riles me, L plates or not. I've told him off as well, if he's old enough to be learning to drive a motorcycle he's old enough to take a telling. He was told if I had to brake suddenly he'd be either flying over my car, or doing some damage to the back of it and his bike. Felt harsh but he was driving just like you've described.

NoFucksImAQueen · 21/09/2016 15:50

Caspo I'd say late teens maybe but then it's hard to tell when they have a helmet on. From his body shape etc I think he looked young.
I feel torn because he's old enough to ride a bike so should be old enough to be responsible but then he's still someone's child and if it were my son if want to know.
I just keep thinking what if something happened to him and then everyone was saying "oh yeah I knew him he was so dangerous it was bound to happens" while his mum is sat there thinking well if he was that well known why did nobody tell ME

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HallowedMimic · 21/09/2016 16:09

But it probably isn't even his house!

If you see someone driving/riding dangerously, call the police.

Writing notes to parents who may or may not exist would be ridiculous.

NoFucksImAQueen · 21/09/2016 16:13

Why would it not be his house?
Not really sure what the police will do when he's not even on the road anymore.
We've called them before to tell them we saw some lads who had robbed someone and gave them the exact road they had run down (long road) and no one came out.
Same when someone smashed a neighbours car, we rang them as it was happening, they spent ages rummaging around inside and where were the police...
Nowhere to be seen

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nocake · 21/09/2016 16:14

I would contact the police. They won't prosecute him but may send someone round for a word.

TwigletsMakeMeViolent · 21/09/2016 16:29

I would also contact the police. Worst case scenario they peg you as an interfering busybody, but best case they'll go round and have a word.

LurkingHusband · 21/09/2016 16:34

We're plagued with quad-bikes and mini-bikes around here. Living in a cul-de-sac means we don't get too many, but you can hear them roaring around at all hours.

Local police recently started a crackdown and are seizing a lot of these things. Reading the local Facebook reveals most are unroadworthy, uninsured and the riders have no licence - even the ones who are old enough.

gillybeanz · 21/09/2016 16:45

I'm usually one to say keep out of it, but definitely a note to parents.
A young girl died on our road a while back, she took a chance at a junction.
Completely her own fault, but now her family are without her, so sad.

You could save this young person's life.
I often think about this girl, she was so young and pretty with her whole life in front of her.
A more experienced driver perhaps wouldn't have taken this chance.

SeaEagleFeather · 21/09/2016 16:47

Yes. Do. Absolutely.

it fucking stinks when you see police officers unhappily pulling faces when they have to beark the news to bereaved parents and it stinks worse when someone you're talking to has lost their child in a motorbike accident. It's also very unpleasant when you're talking bike and you realise the guy using the wheelchair lost his mobility and continence due to a bike accident.

there are a lot of good training courses you can go on to improve riding skills and if this lad is driving that wildly, maybe the parents cna put pressure on. The police ride in a 'defensive' fashion and it's a good system of riding.

Again, please do talk to this lad's parents. It takes experience to realise just how vulnerable you are on a bike, and late teens / early 20's tend to think they are invulnerable. They aren't. And a lot of accidents are rider error.

SeaEagleFeather · 21/09/2016 16:48

and you realise the guy using the wheelchair lost his mobility and continence due to a bike accident

and oh, his ability to father children.

greenfolder · 21/09/2016 17:02

Do it. I would. I work in insurance claims. I often wish that we could just post a picture of the bruised and swollen genitals men get after driving into a car or a tree or a bus. I swear it would cut the accident rate overnight

crunched · 21/09/2016 17:08

Please do drop a note in the house he emerged from. With a newly qualified teenage driver in the house, I would be very grateful to be told if he was driving inappropriately.

galaxygirl45 · 21/09/2016 17:19

I had a very similar experience with a young girl that was in 6th form uniform and had 4 other girls in her car - she pulled out from behind a bus, round a pedestrian island and nearly hit me head on. She had zero visibilty and could have killed anyone crossing the road. It was the closest I'd ever come to an accident and the fact she was laughing about it made me furious - I only got a partial number plate due to the speed and shock, and Police weren't remotely interested. In desperation I emailed the school and posted on the towns FB noticeboard , saying did anyone know this girl and if they did, could they please show it to her parents as I was so worried about the standard of her driving and the fact she had passengers she'd nearly killed as well as me! The girl got tagged and she was very apologetic, but according to DD who was in her school year, she wrote the car off completely about a month later. I don't know if I achieved anything but if my DDs had driven that badly, I'd have wanted to know.

SeaEagleFeather · 21/09/2016 17:24

greenfolder you know, that really is a good idea. A shame the govt couldn't pick that one up!

BummyMummy77 · 21/09/2016 17:30

Police.

We had the same kind of situation recently.

A local kid of 15 was illegally riding a bike over the speed limit, overtaking etc. His Dad had witnessed him doing it a couple of times too and it continued.

We actually knew his parents and debated for ages whether to approach them or the local police.

We called the police in the end, they told us we'd done the right thing. They were around and were nice but firm. Told him that he had a warning but next time they'd send him to jail. His Mum flipped out and they sold the bike.

Good to go in harsh on these things, if the kid had been injured or injured someone else I'd have not forgiven myself.

mummymeister · 21/09/2016 17:36

I had this on the school run when mine were younger. lad on a motorbike every day weaving in and out cutting up, not looking. I beeped a couple of times only to get the finger from him. after about 2 weeks of this I put a donor card application form in an envelope with a note saying that if he wanted to kill himself he would driving like this but at least someone ele could benefit from it and I handed it to him when I saw him stopped outside the senior school. didn't see him again so it obviously did the trick.

sometimes young people/new drivers need you to get angry and point it out to them. they are immortal in their eyes. I would either put a note on the bike outside the house or a note addressed to the driver of xxx through the door. I wouldn't tell his parents. if he is old enough to drive then he is old enough to take responsibility for his own actions.

SerenDippitee · 21/09/2016 17:42

Yes, police. If he's old enough to be riding a motorbike legally on the roads then he needs to be made aware of his responsibilities. If he's underage then his parents need to know. There is a big push in my area on tackling anti-social motorcyclists and the police will be interested.

NoFucksImAQueen · 21/09/2016 17:54

Thanks everyone, Iv written a note and I'll post it tonight. I didn't get the plates earlier But I'd recognise the bike if I saw it again so next time I'll get the plates and make police aware too

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Pineapplemilkshake · 21/09/2016 18:16

YANBU - though I think it better to inform the police. Be prepared for them to ask you to make statement.

A mother of 3 was killed in my area by 2 teenagers using scrambler bikes, a dreadful accident, but thy had been seen driving dangerously in the weeks beforehand. So many lives ruined by this, including the young people responsible in this case. Even if nothing comes of it, at least you'll know that you did something.

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