Joint parties - AIBU to only buy a present for one child?

(14 Posts)
LordVoldemortsMissingNose Wed 21-Sep-16 10:24:10

My DD's have been invited to a nephews birthday party. It is a joint party with two other children from his class. My girls don't go to the same school as him and are only invited because we are relatives. We are giving nephew his presents on his actual birthday.

AIBU not to buy gifts for the other children at the party? I have never met them, my girls have never met them and probably never will again. I have money problems and just can't afford another two presents. What should I do?

GettingScaredNow Wed 21-Sep-16 10:27:33

I see the issue, it would make me anxious but I think I would probably not buy them gifts.

Unless, can you get to pound land? Grab a colouring book and some crayons? £4 for 2 gifts?

How old are they?

AmandaK11 Wed 21-Sep-16 10:27:58

It is only fair. Why should you buy presents for kids you don't know and like you said will never meet again? If that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can bring some treats, like 1 chocolate for each and give them that. That is the only compromise I would do in your situation.

MooseAndSquirrel Wed 21-Sep-16 10:29:39

Just buy for the child your going for.
a friend does this most years, her son has a joint party with three boys in his class - I don't know the other boys so only ever buy for my friends DS, everyone does the same.

LordVoldemortsMissingNose Wed 21-Sep-16 10:31:04

I don't want to look like the stingiest person ever! I've obviously bought separate gifts for other joint parties when it's been two kids from my DD's class, but this situation seems a bit different confused

I do joint parties for my 2 DC, their birthdays are 2 weeks apart so it's easier for family members.

Any DC that we invite from school aren't told it's a joint party so this doesn't happen. I wouldn't expect DD's classmate to buy for DS and vice versa.

If you're giving Nephew his present on a different day, then you'll be fine arriving empty handed. The other DC's won't be expecting anything from you as they don't know you.

RubbleBubble00 Wed 21-Sep-16 11:50:05

I'd take small present for other two kids. Packet sweets wrapped up, something from pound shop ect

fittedcupboard Wed 21-Sep-16 11:51:09

I went to a joint party and only knew one of the girls - bought a usual birthday present for the one I knew and a colouring book/felt tips for the other one.

Chocolatecake12 Wed 21-Sep-16 12:44:26

My ds has a joint party most years with another boy from his class. Other boys cousin always comes to the party, never brings my ds a present - not a problem. I've never expected him too.

Ameliablue Wed 21-Sep-16 12:45:41

In this situation I wouldn't give to the other children.

dowhatnow Wed 21-Sep-16 12:48:50

I wouldn't give anything in this situation.

Obviously if friends with both kids I'd do presents for both. If they know both kids but are only really friends with one, then I'd buy a token present for the least known child. If they don't know them at all why would you buy anything?

IWillOnlyEatBeans Wed 21-Sep-16 12:52:12

We had a joint 5th birthday party for my son. His cousins were invited. They brought a present for DS but not for the other two children. The other children's relatives did not bring a gift for DS.

One present is fine op.

LordVoldemortsMissingNose Wed 21-Sep-16 14:13:14

Thanks all, I really don't want to get it wrong and look like a total right arse, but am having to be selective already with spending so thought I would ask opinions!

HereIAm20 Wed 21-Sep-16 14:18:18

This is the time where one present is fine. If they are all classmates but not necessarily friends I would buy for all but buy a cheaper present for the non friend. In this case definitely just the nephew.

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