to email out of the blue after 10 years??

(23 Posts)
emelsie Tue 20-Sep-16 23:03:10

Long story short, I came across the email address of a teenage romance/friend in an old diary I found in the attic of my childhood home, it was all very young and innocent , but we were very close in the years we did know each other, it was a fun carefree time in my life, the memories made me smile.
I sent a email to the address, maybe I should never have done, is this crazy?
To my surprise he replied! I honestly thought there was no way he would still use it, but he was very blunt , 'Yes this is (his name)' and 'how can I help' , on confirming he did remember who I was and asking how he was he responded again 'how can I help' and 'yes I am good' .

I don't really know what answer I want from here, just feel a bit silly for even sending an email, its not something I have ever done before, was just having a bit of a 'why not' moment I suppose, maybe it was a error of judgement on my part.

katemess12 Tue 20-Sep-16 23:06:44

Bit of a weird response from him, but I also wouldn't have emailed someone out of the blue after 10 years, so. I'd probably just leave it and not respond.

TheWitTank Tue 20-Sep-16 23:08:19

I would just leave it. He clearly is a bit puzzled at your interest after such a long time!

AndShesGone Tue 20-Sep-16 23:08:46

How old are you? 10 years isn't very long at all. Maybe he thinks you haven't 'got over him' or some such nonsense grin

I would just tell him what happened and pass it off as whimsy. Better that than having him imagine you have been thinking about him for 10 years grin

JessieMcJessie Tue 20-Sep-16 23:17:52

"How can I help?" is an odd thing to say. How exactly did you phrase your initial email to him?

I don't think that emailing after 10 years is all that odd- people reconnect all the time these days after similar intervals via Facebook etc.

Even if he wanted to keep his distance I'd have expected a polite response along the lines of "Nice to hear from you, yes I'm well, married Jenny in 2011 and we have 2 little boys now. Glad to hear you're well and happy, all the very best".

emelsie Tue 20-Sep-16 23:19:57

Yes think will just write it off as a silly mistake, (Im 26), the last email I sent after his 'how can I help you' was very brief and to the point explaining that his email was a very random find was only a passing 'I wonder how he is doing' thought I had and not to worry, his reply was ' Its not a big issue but not sure we are ever likely to be friends'
That was not my intention either but I will just leave the conversation there before I feel more stupid trying to explain myself to him.

He sounds like a bit of a dick.
I would agree with his last statement, enthusiastically.

JessieMcJessie Tue 20-Sep-16 23:22:18

Leave it. He sounds like a twat.

Arfarfanarf Tue 20-Sep-16 23:27:14

Wow. That is very blunt.
Did things end horribly ten years ago?
He sounds like he dislikes you which is very weird.

He was very rude.

Id just file him in the twat bin and move on.

WhatsGoingOnEh Tue 20-Sep-16 23:29:44

Ooh, you broke his heart by the sounds of it.

george1020 Tue 20-Sep-16 23:30:30

It's a shame you had to find out how much of a twat he has grown into, but I would worry another second about him or his piss poor people skills.

PotatoBread Tue 20-Sep-16 23:31:54

His reply sounds rather odd. Just delete and forget you ever sent it.

At 26 he could be married with a family and not interested in a friendship with you - you were teenage crushes at 16; very unlikely to anything in common other than the fact you had raging hormones at the same time a decade ago.

I can imagine a thread "my DH has been emailing his old teenage girlfriend" with a chorus of LTB following!

I have a few of my exes on FB
All are married with kids as am I.
Every convo has been "politely interested in how our lives panned out."
We occasionally like a cute pic of our kids or pets.
That's normal. Acting as if you've offended by daring to send an email after 10 years is weird.

emelsie Tue 20-Sep-16 23:41:11

I don't recall things ending badly , just kind of lost touch , uni and life happened.
I wasn't interested in friendship anyway, maybe a brief few sentences on how life had been treating him , but then maybe it hasn't been easy for him and it was an unwelcome or bad timed reminder, who knows , thank you all for your replies , don't feel as silly now and lucky for me that was the only box of keepsakes left to sort, so will not be doing that again in a hurrygrin

He probably cries into his pillow every night, there might even be poetry... grin

Catsize Tue 20-Sep-16 23:45:23

Think you had a lucky escape there OP!

danadas Tue 20-Sep-16 23:52:32

He may have a very jealous OH and be keeping the emails very bland and blunt so their partner absolutely cannot read anything into it!!

powershowerforanhour Tue 20-Sep-16 23:57:30

Could be
- yes he was heartbroken
- he's married and wanted to leave a bare minimum paper trail of emails that could not possibly be misconstrued by anyone who found them
-he's afraid your next email was going to be "Guess what- your DC that I never told you about was 10 yesterday and wants to meet you"
- he's gay and has a new life and doesn't want anyone from the old life in it
- he has been burned by other people in the past 10 years, ultra guarded/ paranoid as a result and thinks you're after money somehow or are going to turn into a stalker.
Anyway, I would just leave it.

His response is odd. How can I help? Tempted to say, do you fix gutterings!

You did not need anything you were just touching base.

My guess is he is in a new relationship/newly married or whatever. Or you meant more to him than you knew, or he worries that he meant more to you!

Anyway, it was a perfectly natural thing to do.

TheLastHeatwave Wed 21-Sep-16 00:38:39

Maybe it wasn't actually him replying but a gf or wife?

katemess12 Wed 21-Sep-16 01:45:35

Yeah, he sounds like a nobscrot.

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