safeguarding / abuse questions. Normal or not?

(22 Posts)
Chwaraeteg Tue 20-Sep-16 15:32:02

I've been to two appointments with my daughter recently and both times I've been asked tons of questions about my lifestyle /risk factors etc. I'm just wondering if this is normal?

The first time was a trip to a&e, so kind of understandable (leg injury from falling). Every member of staff we saw asked again and again what happened and kept picking out details and going over them.

Today, I took her to see the GP because she's Been complaining of tiredness for a couple of months now and been a bit off energy wise. The Dr asked me loads of stuff about stress at home, finances, my relationship with her dad / my partner and even if she had spent time lately with anyone she doesn't usually spend time with - anyone who may have made her do anything she didn't want to.

at the time I thought 'hmmm, well I suppose they have to ask eveyone these questions'.

However, I've just spoken to my mother on the phone (who regularly takes my neices to their spots) and she says that she has never been asked these kinds of questions and neither has my sister!

Is it just me? Is there something about me or my child that screams 'ABUSE'? I'm baffled. The only thing that could give rise to any concern, possibly, is that I have a history of depression and self-harm (many years ago -in my teens and early 20's) and I'm not married to my partner / Childs father.

So are these questions normal, or is it just me?

Thefishewife Tue 20-Sep-16 15:33:55

Not being funny op if a adult came in to the GPs staying the had fatigue and low engery

What type of questions do you think the doctor would ask

SarcasmMode Tue 20-Sep-16 15:39:37

To be honest I've never been asked questions like that but thankfully neither DD has had a bad injury- mainly visited hospital in relation to infections.

I guess it depends how bad the injury with the fall was and how close the GP appointment was to the fall?

YelloDraw Tue 20-Sep-16 15:42:13

My brother got a visit from social services after his kid went to a&e with a dislocated elbow, about 2 months after he went to a&e with a head injury.

It's good they check up!

Ninasimoneinthemorning Tue 20-Sep-16 15:46:11

I have once when dd2 was very small. She had just started crawling and had lots of little bruises on her legs. It made me feel awful.

londonrach Tue 20-Sep-16 15:50:25

Im very pleased they do ask these questions.

Lottapianos Tue 20-Sep-16 15:54:14

I'm involved in safeguarding at work OP and this sounds fairly standard. As others have said, we have to check these things out. The professionals are not trying to catch you out, they just need to be clear about how injuries and illnesses have come about.

No one will care in the slightest that you're not married so don't worry about that!

VilootShesCute Tue 20-Sep-16 15:55:49

Yes dd is accident prone and we've been to a&e twice when she's fallen and cut her eye (was horrible!) and when she jumped on a bath toy and hurt her nether regions. Lots of questions and follow ups from health visitors to check and I think it's a good thing they do to be honest.

WowOoo Tue 20-Sep-16 15:57:17

They are doing their job.

I have been through similar after taking ds to A&E. It was followed up and I can see exactly why.

Chwaraeteg Tue 20-Sep-16 15:58:08

I'm not sure 'Thefishwife'. Probably the GP was just being thorough / exploring all avenues (she was great actually - she give my dd a thorough physical exam, listened to my concerns, booked a good test etc - so definitely no criticism of her).

It wasn't until the conversation I had with my mother afterwards that I started to query whether or not it was normal to get those sort of questions. My mother just seemed so taken aback by it / offended on my behalf that it made me wonder.

So that's why I came on here to ask if it was standard practise to ask mums these kinds of questions. I genuinely don't know. I'm not offended, just maybe a bit paranoid.

biscuitbadger Tue 20-Sep-16 16:00:01

I was questioned over and over in a&e when I took my then 2 year old ds in to be checked over after an accident. Where was I when it happened? How did it happen? Where was everyone else? What exactly happened? Why was he unsupervised? Why didn't I have stair gates?
It feels horrible doesn't it. I understand why they have to do it though.

Yorkieheaven Tue 20-Sep-16 16:02:21

Standard questions op. Honestly not directed at you obviously that's why they belives you. Injury stories need to add up and make sense and by questioning the child and the parents details make the picture.

It's reassuring they do.

GaaahwithacapitalG Tue 20-Sep-16 16:06:08

When I went with fatigue they asked similar things. Things being rough at home could stop a child sleeping. It's a standard question. Also yes it's standard for you to get questioned a lot if your child gets injured. It's because too many kids are falling through the gaps.

They can ask me 1000 questions if that process may save a child's life.

Chwaraeteg Tue 20-Sep-16 16:16:58

It sounds like it's quite normal then :-) I'll stop worrying now.

arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens Tue 20-Sep-16 16:21:45

Accident prone DD here; we were regulars in A&E (at least three times a year!) for a couple of years and we were always asked the same questions - even voluntarily left the room so they could ask DD on her own the last time (she's now 14 nearly 15);we also had the school nurse ring to follow up on one.

Yes, I was upset (and especially when the school nurse rang me)but I realise why they have to do it. Doesn't happen so much in the GP surgery but I've been with the same one since I was a newborn and there's nothing they don't know about my family's health (she's the 5th generation to be with the same surgery; at one point 4 generations had the same GP!)

Please don't be worried about it - they have your DD (and your) safety at heart.

PikachuSayBoo Tue 20-Sep-16 16:53:47

Doesn't sound like the GP was asking safeguarding stuff so much but trying to get to the bottom of the fatigue incase it's depression/stress/anxiety related.

Chwaraeteg Tue 20-Sep-16 17:53:04

My Dd is only 2, she can be clingy, anxious and shy but definitely not depressed (can 2 year olds be depressed? Genuine question).

Thanks for all the reassuring responses. I kind of rely on mn for a bit of perspective because I'm not vvery sociable in real life.

Meadows76 Tue 20-Sep-16 18:07:30

Your mother needs to get a grip and stop being fucking offended on your behalf. The GP is clearly looking to find the possible cause

Chwaraeteg Tue 20-Sep-16 19:24:06

My mother is never going to get a grip, she's quite a dramatic person. I forgot that for a sec.

WowOoo Tue 20-Sep-16 21:05:50

Fair play to you Chwaraeteg. Only just got your name.

I think a 2 year old can show signs of anxiety but not sure how depression would present. A two year old wanting to stay in bed all day and not talking to anyone...don't know but I can't imagine it.

Don't worry. Mine were clingy and shy at 2 and it's normal.

arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens Wed 21-Sep-16 13:59:29

Hi Chwaraeteg if you're (as I suspect) also in Wales, they do tend to ask these questions (I'm also Wales based).

If you're a bit shy have you looked for Ti a Fi clubs locally? There are normally quite a few and they would have mums in similar situations around

Chwaraeteg Wed 21-Sep-16 14:42:52

Hi, I don't like in Wales anymore :-) my lack of socialisation is more to do with intorversion and lack of free time more than shyness really.

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