to be upset that DH doesn't understand my separation anxiety

(1 Post)
Manoodledo Tue 20-Sep-16 14:09:38

DH and I are currently not talking because he is cross with me because my first reaction to his suggesting we go away for my 40th birthday was panic at the thought of leaving the kids, rather than being delighted with his kind and thoughtful suggestion. He wants us to go to New York in March and has even spoken to my mum about having the kids. I know I was supposed to be pleased but he just doesn't get how much the idea of leaving the kids (aged 10, 7 and 3) to go so far away makes me really, really anxious. And I know I'm being irrational. It's not like we never leave them with anyone else and we have once before gone off abroad for a couple of days without kids and I realize that the distance we go or the time we are gone has no bearing on the likelihood of something happening to them or us when we're not there. But I just can't help it. He doesn't get it at all because his default setting is absence, given that he's at work all day every day and is sometimes away for a few weeks at a time. Since the kids were born he's done quite a bit of travelling, to the Middle East, Japan and loads of places in Europe. I know that left to my own devices as I wouldn't go anywhere as I find it too stressful (I work from home, so this is my default setting) but he takes personal offence at this and says it upsets him that I don't want to go away with him.

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