AIBU that she calls herself aunty?

[Brandysnaps76]

My brother in law has a girlfriend of 14 months. She's significantly younger than he is. It's a large family, with many siblings and nieces/nephews. Since the beginning, she's always referred to herself as 'aunty X' with my own children and the other cousins. She calls them her nieces and nephewsI find this to be...I'm not sure what the word is, maybe presumptious? We do consider her part of the family, but I just find it too soon to be committing to 'aunty'. Me and my husband have been together a long long time, married last years and it was only when i became pregnant with our first (4 now) that other members of the family referred to me as aunty. And up till then I referred to them as my partners nieces and nephews whenever they came up in conversation.
AIBU to be miffed by this? She can be overbearing and in your face at the best of times, but maybe its just me to think that they've not been in a relationship long enough yet to commit to these roles?

[ItWentInMyEye]

Yanbu, my brother in law has been with his current girlfriend 6 months and I spotted an instagram post where she had tagged my daughter as her niece I find it weird.

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

I'm married now and still find it weird when my husbands niece and nephews call me auntie
I only feel like an auntie to my sisters son. I'd never comment on it but it just feels wrong.
Yanbu.

[acasualobserver]

I'd save my energy for more important things.

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

I was brought up with so many aunts and uncles that weren't even related. Mums friends just became aunts and dad's friends uncles

So this isn't weird to me. My brother got with his gf 2 years ago and i let her have the aunty title coz she's ace with him.

If she feels that close to him then I'm fine with it.

[Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016]

Maybe be flattered she thinks so much of the kids?

[Ameliablue]

Don't really see the problem, if you really do consider her part of the family.

[Waltermittythesequel]

Does it matter?

[OiWithThePoodlesAlready]

Well you obviously don't consider her part of the family!

It's only a word really. It wouldn't bother me at all.

[Nocabbageinmyeye]

I asked my own family to not call me aunty x, that word just grates on me so I know this would drive me batshit. I think of all dh's nephews and nieces as just that, dh's and mine are mine. Love them all but I just don't see them as my own and would never refer to myself as aunty.

Just keep calling her by her first name, if she says aunty x just keep saying x, if she pushes it just say "just x is fine" but nicely

[phillipp]

We do consider her part of the family, but I just find it too soon to be committing to 'aunty'.

so she is part of the family, but not really?

Yabu.

[Omgkitties]

By young, how young do you actually mean?

My BILs girlfriend has always referred to BILs nieces and nephews as hers too. She's 18.

[MyPeriodFeatures]

Is it cultural?

[JellyBelli]

YANBU. In our family, names of relatives are reserved for actual relatives. Everyone else is a family friend.
I get creeped out by false familiarity.

[JagerPlease]

I'd been with DW for about 14 months when her brother and his wife had their daughter, and I was auntie from the start but I guess it's different when the children came first.

Do you feel that the relationship isn't likely to be long term?

[HeddaGarbled]

Well it is a bit presumptuous of her but I don't think it really matters. Strictly speaking, you weren't auntie either until you got married. It's not a competition. Be nice.

[Brandysnaps76]

Thanks for the responses, you're all definitely making me think! I know it's not really a big deal but it grates on me. In my family I don't even call my aunts and uncles that, I always use their first names, so I still find it weird to be referred to as aunty myself. I guess I'm bemused because she started using the term herself, maybe if someone actually in the family had referred to her as aunty first I wouldn't be as annoyed?

[IzzyIsBusy]

What does her being younger have to do with it?

[merrymouse]

I think it's fairly normal to call unrelated adults uncle and aunty.

It's s bit weirder to refer to unrelated children as nephews and nieces if you aren't married/in a very long term relationship with their biological uncle/aunt.

[Brandysnaps76]

Oh and yes, she's 21, I know everybody is different but I was still a bit of an idiot at 21 and certainly not ready to have anybody call me aunty, or start to call myself that within DHs family.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

I get creeped out by false familiarity

I agree with you OP. She is not their aunt. I've been with husband almost 30 years. He has 2 nieces and a nephew and I am not their aunt. I have one nephew , my husband is not their uncle.

Actually I hate the prefix "Aunt" anyway. I know what my relationship is to my nephew - why does it have to be referred to?

[ShatnersBassoon]

If you feel she's like family, I don't know why you'd care. It's a bit different to what you're used to, but it's harmless.

My sister is a bit of a pain with this. She says I'm her kids' aunt because I'm related to her, but my husband isn't their uncle because he's not actually related to them . Same with her husband, she's always discouraged my children from calling him Uncle Knobhead.

It's just a friendly way to mark someone out as different to all the other adults I think

[DerekSprechenZeDick]

She's an adult then. My sister has been an aunty since she was born and my other sister since she was 8

Not sure how ready you have to be for the term aunty TBH

[CodyKing]

My uncles latest lady is Aunty to me and my siblings - we call her Aunty X were all 40s and she's 67 -

It's just the way we are !!!

[t4nut]

I was brought up in the north of england. As a child every adult you knew was your aunty or uncle.

[Brandysnaps76]

And their relationship seems serious but a lot changes between 21 and 30, and I'd hate for my kids and the others get used to Aunty X and then she disappears. Would feel differently if she was just uncle X girlfriend