To think a 10 year old girl shouldn't be encouraged to see herself as "nonbinary";

(428 Posts)
MrsJamin Mon 19-Sep-16 11:44:38

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37383914

How is this story so lauded by the right-on BBC? It's so very irresponsible of the parents to persuade a girl that she doesn't need to be a girl. Girls should be told that they are girls, and that doesn't prevent them from liking or doing anything that people say boys should only do. How does she even know what hormone blockers are? She could mess up her health forever by taking hormones in her adolescence. sad

(and yes, another trans thread - I don't care, this is SCARY SHIT right here when girls don't want to be girls)

BeyondASpecialSnowflake Mon 19-Sep-16 11:48:10

Technically it isn't another trans thread as "non-binary" and "trans/cis" are by definition incompatible... wink

Girls can like pirates and dinosaurs without being boys
Boys can like princesses and fairies without being girls

The whole thing is regressive and homophobic.

RedHelenB Mon 19-Sep-16 11:48:35

YANBU and why the need to ask a child if they are straight or gay? Surely that only comes with age?

Artistic Mon 19-Sep-16 11:52:37

Children should be left alone as they are until they are adults and only then can they 'do' something drastic to their bodies. Until then they can call themselves whatever they like but let nature take its course. It's horrific that such life changing drugs & interference is NOT being halted by the parents, medical systems and law in general. Totally mad. What kind of world are we taking our future generations toward?! I am flabbergasted.

Inyournightdress Mon 19-Sep-16 11:52:50

Seems to me like this is a child who is being encouraged to explore their sexuality and gender identity at their own pace and with support from loving parents.

There is nothing here to get up in arms about.

pepperpot99 Mon 19-Sep-16 11:54:20

Children have enough to cope with without having to now decide whether they are 'cis' 'non binary' , 'trans' and all the other new labels which have been invented to make life more complicated. YANBU.

ThoraGruntwhistle Mon 19-Sep-16 11:58:20

Yanbu. Children should be allowed to like whatever they want and explore lots of ideas without being told this makes them 'X Y or Z'. If when they're teens or young adults they are more secure in their identity, then find a name for whatever or whoever they are, if you must. But aged 10? No.

WhateverWillBe Mon 19-Sep-16 12:10:46

Oh, 9 year old daughter, you want to be a man. OK - will you be a gay man or a straight man?

What a load of bollocks - who asks a 9 year old to decide their sexuality? I judge the fuck out of the parents for enabling it and introducing the term 'non-binary' to such a young child.

CoteDAzur Mon 19-Sep-16 12:12:15

"Mum was completely on board. Totally interested. 'What would be your name if you were a boy? You've always been more attracted to boys, would you be gay man or a straight man?' "

WTF shock No questioning whatsoever, just "Oh great, let's choose you a boy name" hmm The child is 10 years old. 10! "You've always been more attracted to boys"??? Always, as in since when?

YANBU. This IS scary shit.

PinguForPresident Mon 19-Sep-16 12:12:52

YABU.

Should the child be encouraged as in egged on or influenced? No. Should they be supported as they make their own decisions? Absolutely.

Reading Leo's story, they sound supported by parents and other adults. Which is exactly as it should be.

Amalfimamma Mon 19-Sep-16 12:14:15

She's 10. She's a child. She is not a social experiment or a pawn in the TA game.

YANBU

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Mon 19-Sep-16 12:16:32

I think this is so wrong. I think history will judge us harshly for encouraging young children to think they are the wrong sex. She is s girl. Girls can do what they like (even if they enjoy things more traditionally associated with being male).

I think this is the equivalent of giving electric shock treatment for mental illness. Wrong and very damaging.

horseygeorgie1 Mon 19-Sep-16 12:17:37

YANBU. This is bloody madness. The CHILD is 10! Who asks their 10 year old if they are attracted to men in any capacity?!? Being supportive is one thing, this is quite another and IMO is damaging.

ApocalypseSlough Mon 19-Sep-16 12:18:21

It's such a load of bollocks- and so dangerous. sad

CoteDAzur Mon 19-Sep-16 12:18:36

"Should they be supported as they make their own decisions? Absolutely."

A girl who comes up with "I don't feel right as a girl" (at 8?), lives as a boy for a while, then says "I don't feel right as a boy, either" (at 9?) should be given proper psychological guidance. Not introduced to fuzzy concepts of gender like "non-binary" and asked if she would like to have sex with boys or girls FFS.

You don't let children "make their own decisions". You guide them and teach them until an age when they can do so. It is called parenting.

macaronigonzalez Mon 19-Sep-16 12:19:32

I don't understand why the 'I'm not a girl' or 'I don't feel like a girl' statements are accepted so unquestioningly. What does it mean? Seriously, almost every trans narrative I come across when I see declarations of 'I knew I was a girl' or 'I felt like a boy' I want to scream "what does that actually mean?" Because I never see these statements actually critically analysed as part of the narrative. It's the new religion. And I am terrified for our young people.

YANBU.

MrsJayy Mon 19-Sep-16 12:21:11

I think right on parents are ruining childhoods instead of letting children explore growing up finding their feet these parents rush to the internet Google stuff and label their children all in the name of support and encouragement I'm sure Leos parents are loving blah blah but they need to re focus and get a grip

MisDescamisados Mon 19-Sep-16 12:21:24

@pingu
I think it stops being straightforward when labels such as "non binary " start getting pinned on children's chests.
Yes, we should all do our best to avoid gendering the upbringing of your kids ,that's not the same though, is it ?
Strikes me that this labelling is "snowflake by proxy " , and therein lies the rub.
The parents are gender essentialist, or how would they even care that their daughter doesn't fit into the "boys = this , girls= that" binary ?
Hm , so not so innocent on closer examination, and no, the OP's instincts are not at all unreasonable

JellyBelli Mon 19-Sep-16 12:22:01

That poor kid. I wanted to be a boy right up until I was 14.
What I actually meant was I didnt want to have the 'dolls and glitter and pink' role shoved on me. I didnt want people to write off what I was saying as silly or irrrelevant. I could see boys had it easier and got treated differently.

If I'd had a positive role model I would have said I wanted to be like her.

Acardwithbigletters Mon 19-Sep-16 12:22:31

Yanbu. This is fucking madness.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Mon 19-Sep-16 12:22:59

Bloody outrageous. The poor, poor child. This whole way of thinking is so damaging. Her parents probably think that they're so cool and accepting when what they're actually doing is sexualizing a 10 year old which in my book is child abuse.

VestalVirgin Mon 19-Sep-16 12:23:13

I'd have no problem with her seeing herself as non-binary with regard to gender - I certainly don't think of myself as cis-gender, or indeed, any other gender. (Now if only patriarchy would respect that ...). But puberty blockers? To stop her very real body, with its very real sex characteristics, from developing? That is vile. Puberty blockers are by no means harmless. Parents have a responsibility to protect their children, when children are trying to harm themselves.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Mon 19-Sep-16 12:23:49

They asked a 10 year old if she was straight or gay? Seriously?
I am appalled.

BurnTheBlackSuit Mon 19-Sep-16 12:23:50

"Mum was completely on board. Totally interested. 'What would be your name if you were a boy? You've always been more attracted to boys, would you be gay man or a straight man?' "

Yes. This is the bit that made we think "what?" What does more attracted mean? Because the 10 year old boys I know aren't attracted sexually at all. Or does it mean that Leo just liked playing with boys and "boys" games.

MrsJayy Mon 19-Sep-16 12:23:54

Exactly what does a girl feel like if 1 of mine was 10 now she would be seen as non binary I'm glad she isn't and just grew up feeling like a person

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