To worry I've completely ruined my career with this pregnancy?

(8 Posts)
LazyJournalistsCanKissMyArse Mon 19-Sep-16 11:27:34

This is my third pregnancy and it has been really tough. Had a bleed at around 18 weeks which was super scary, then became really anaemic and have been signed off work for the last week or so because I keep fainting and am not able to do anything much really except sit or lie down and breathlessly pant. All the iron supplements they have me on, plus changes to my diet, etc, don't seem to be able to get on top of the symptoms.

I know it's irrational but I'm so stressed about work. I feel like, even though no one would ever say anything openly, everyone thinks I'm pathetic and milking it. I have to go back after mat leave for at least a year and I'm worried that my being signed off sick will leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth which will count against me when I go back.

I would be at work if I could.

To make it worse, my boss is pregnant with her first and is all blooming and has tons of second trimester energy and is really showing me up!

I really want to make some kind of gesture to mitigate how crap I'm being and make people at work think better of me, but I'm so exhausted.

I hate this paranoia. AIBU?

Lweji Mon 19-Sep-16 11:32:35

You can't really control how others react to your health problems, but you shouldn't feel guilty at all.
Presumably, your other pregnancies went much better.

Would you feel like that if you had an illness?

If anything, just keep telling people how this pregnancy has knocked you over, and point out how different it is from the others.
But for me the baby should be the most important thing, as it seems it is for you, so whatever happens, you will know you did the best for him/her and your own health. flowers

blueshoes Mon 19-Sep-16 16:04:39

Don't apologise.

Not only can you not control how other people view your pregnancy, people will probably think badly of you anyway, particularly if you had three pregnancies at the same employer (I am not sure what your precise situation is).

I am a great believer in fronting it out and putting all your pregnancies and maternity leaves in one place for as long as you can. Thread water for as long as you can.

Once your children are older and you are ready to gear back up, look for another job/promotion and start a clean slate. Don't worry if you blow it at this place - it is a waste of energy.

MatildaTheCat Mon 19-Sep-16 16:43:15

Anaemia does take a while to improve so hang on in these. Use your sick time to really rest and perhaps do some online organisation like Christmas shopping to save time later.

A couple of weeks sick leave does not make you a flake. Use the time to ensure that when you return you will be feeling rested and on top of things. Is there any work you could do from home or any chance of reducing you hours temporarily? Hang on in there. Working while pregnant and with 2 DC is not for the faint of heart.

LazyJournalistsCanKissMyArse Mon 19-Sep-16 19:11:11

This is actually really good advice and making me feel much better already. Thanks everyone.

becciandbump Mon 19-Sep-16 22:23:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caffeine99 Mon 19-Sep-16 23:14:13

Blue shoes that is good advice - it was good for me to read that this evening so thank you.

OP... You have my sympathies and I understand why you feel how you do... But you really can't control what others do. Your health and baby's health are most important. A job is just a job!

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 19-Sep-16 23:18:46

Are you taking the liquid iron? Works much more effectively and no side effects.

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