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AIBU?

Or is STBXH?

62 replies

YoureaFlutteringCunt · 18/09/2016 17:38

He has them friday night to Sunday night. He brings them home at 5pm.

He refuses to bath them Sunday and never feeds them dinner. Gives them breakfast and lunch.

So at 5pm on a Sunday night they come home from the park filthy, I am bathing 4 kids and then cooking for them. On what seems like is 'his day'.

AIBU to think he should do at least one of these things. If not both?!

And he hardly ever does reading/homework so that has to be fit in too most weekends.

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Trifleorbust · 18/09/2016 17:42

If he's bringing them home at 5 that seems a little early for me for bath and dinner. Whose preference is the time chosen? Would it not be more sensible for them to come home at 7, basically ready for bed?

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hardtopinpoint · 18/09/2016 17:43

Should probably do it but if he doesn't there's fuck all you can do except ask him to do it.

I ignore the filth except when it's really bad and then they go in a super quick shower. I offer a piece of toast if they're starving.

What time are they getting back? Could you ask for half an hour earlier to get those things done?

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ErrolTheDragon · 18/09/2016 17:43

Does he have to feed and get them bathed on the Friday?

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hardtopinpoint · 18/09/2016 17:44

Oh sorry I didn't see you said 5pm.

They can hardly eat and get in jimjams by 5 can they?

Adjust it to 7pm.

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LemonSqueezy0 · 18/09/2016 17:44

Can you amend either the time, to 7/7.30 or the day so he drops them to school on Monday. More quality time for them with him, and you for yourself. Both very important.

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ErrolTheDragon · 18/09/2016 17:45

He definitely should be dealing with the weekend reading and homework though.

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Tiggeryoubastard · 18/09/2016 17:46

YABU. It's far too early. Can't you see that? I'd just be pleased they had a good time with him in the park or wherever. You may not realise it but you sound like one of 'those' exes.

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YoureaFlutteringCunt · 18/09/2016 17:48

He wouldn't keep them overnight and I couldn't trust him to get them all to school anyway.

It just annoys me that I do everything all week and the ONLY thibg I ask him to do is bath them on a sunday.

I doubt he would bring them home later than five. He already turns up early most Sundays.

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KarmaNoMore · 18/09/2016 17:51

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KarmaNoMore · 18/09/2016 17:53

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Itsmine · 18/09/2016 17:56

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Trifleorbust · 18/09/2016 17:59

If he won't bring them back later, could he bring them earlier? Give him the choice: either 3pm without baths, reading and pyjamas, or 7pm with.

Seems a bit off that he tries to bring them back early most weeks anyway, so this could work to your advantage.

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redskytonight · 18/09/2016 18:04

Personally I' d rather my DC had spent Sunday afternoon in the park, than being bathed and fed (what would you then do with them once they got home?). Agree with others that if you want him to do these tasks, you need to adjust your dropoff time.

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FullTimeYummy · 18/09/2016 18:05

"couldn't trust him to get them all to school"

Really?

You sound like an irritating matyr and it's no wonder you're no longer together if your opinion of him is so low

FFS

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PaulAnkaTheDog · 18/09/2016 18:21

Yabu. If you can trust your ex with your children for a weekend then why on earth can't you trust him to take them to school? I'm guessing that if this wasn't the problem you'd find another.

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Dieu · 18/09/2016 18:42

My ex husband take our children every 2nd Saturday night, and returns them at 8.30pm on the Sunday. They are fed but not bathed. I guess these arrangements are seldom ideal.

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Dieu · 18/09/2016 18:42

takes

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harderandharder2breathe · 18/09/2016 18:45

If he won't keep them later then have him bring them home earlier so you have more time for baths and tea

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hardtopinpoint · 18/09/2016 18:46

I think putting theM in the bath on Sunday afternoon is bonkers, and sounds like you're trying to prove a point.

Try and be thankful they're obviously having a lot of fun outside if they're coming back dirty.

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hardtopinpoint · 18/09/2016 18:47

If they're usually back early then what's the problem?

4.40 leaves time for reading, dinner and bed.

How old are they?

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AcrossthePond55 · 18/09/2016 18:51

He's a shit, but as others say, there's not much you can do.

Can you do a cook ahead meal on Sunday earlier and reheat it? Or a one pot/slow cooker meal that would be ready around 5-ish? Then when they get home at 5 supper would be ready to eat then bath later or if they're filthy bath then reheat supper later?

BFF's ex used to bring their son home filthy. It was worth it to her to spend a bit of her Sunday cooking ahead.

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hardtopinpoint · 18/09/2016 19:29

I don't see how he's a shit.

I don't see any evidence of that

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Ego147 · 18/09/2016 19:31

If he has them for the weekend, he should do the homework and the reading. It's important.

But not sure about the bath and tea.

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hardtopinpoint · 18/09/2016 19:35

I think the homework depends on how old they are

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PuntasticUsername · 18/09/2016 19:36

I honestly try not to do the bitchy sniping thing on these threads as it's rarely helpful, but "I couldn't trust him to get them all to school anyway." - really? He's their dad. He's responsible for them when they're in his care, and if he really can't manage this aspect of their care then it's high time he fucking learned.

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