AIBU to be really annoyed with dh about pool safety?

(46 Posts)
Lj85mamma Sun 18-Sep-16 17:00:19

I'm so angry with dh! We're on holiday with dd (3) and ds (1) in the pool, I'm holding Ds on the steps and dh is supposed to be supervising dd, they are walking out of the pool up the steps, she slips and plunges underwater while dh is gazing idly around. I scream at him he realises and pulls her up. Fuming. Go to the kids slide, I say its too big, dd wants to so dh let's her, hhe comes down and head goes under water again, she comes up coughing and extremely upset. Go to real baby baby pool dd3 nearly pulls dd1 underwater (again under husbands watch as I've just put him on the baby slide) I scream at dh and he stops her. I am livid with him and we leave pool. Lectured him about secondary drowning he thinks I'm overreacting. I wont sleep tonight.

Soubriquet Sun 18-Sep-16 17:02:55

The slipping and falling underwater I can understand

The slide thing on the other hand is just one of those things. They learn to keep their mouths shut and hold their breath eventually

Secondary drowning is incredibly rare. If you worry about that every time they go in water, they would never swim

augbd Sun 18-Sep-16 17:07:08

I would be fuming. Drowning, specifically my kids drowning is my ultimate fear so it may be hard for me to judge but at 1 and 3 (I'm assuming they can't swim) they really need to be watched closely.

sparepantsandtoothbrush Sun 18-Sep-16 17:22:57

I'm assuming she didn't have arm bands or a vest on? If not, why not?

Yes your DH should supervise properly around water though and I'd be cross too

Lj85mamma Sun 18-Sep-16 17:24:33

She had vest on but it didn't stop her head going under

DillyDilly Sun 18-Sep-16 17:32:46

At that age my kids would always have worn armbands or a flotation jacket. Obviously still need very close supervision while wearing but would have cut out most of your drama.

Motherfuckers Sun 18-Sep-16 17:38:49

None of that sounds that bad, It is normal to get your head under water on slides and while swimming. Do you think your daughter's upset was made worse by your reaction?

hardtopinpoint Sun 18-Sep-16 17:38:55

If she's got a vest on what's the issue?

I've never heard of secondary drowning except on here. I think you've been reading too much MN.

hardtopinpoint Sun 18-Sep-16 17:40:21

Do you expect your DD's head not to go in the water at all?

I'm a bit confused by your post tbh as I presumed she wasn't wearing arm bands or anything. Now you say she is and I'm reading it back wondering where your anxiety is coming from.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Sun 18-Sep-16 17:42:35

You're overreacting. Let them enjoy the pool without lecturing.

Yarboosucks Sun 18-Sep-16 17:48:53

Blmey…. In my family we all get dropped in the pool at about 6 months, we go down, we come back up, we can all swim! Same with my DS

YABU and I think you need to calm down and apologise to your DH!

redskytonight Sun 18-Sep-16 18:00:13

Pretty sure my DD spent more time underwater than overwater at that age. By choice. You're overreacting.

HeyNannyNanny Sun 18-Sep-16 18:00:15

YABU for screaming. Thats a huge overreaction and you'll end up giving your DC a complex about being in the water, plus seem like you're over-reacting and DH will end up being desensitised for if there ever was an emergency.

Why not just talk to him sensibly, asking for him to be more vigilant as you are worried.

Sounds like your DD just simply learnt about waterslides!

In the baby swim classes I take my Nanny-Baby too, they're all swooped under the water - he's four months old!

BestZebbie Sun 18-Sep-16 18:03:28

A really big part of learning to swim is learning to hold your breath/not panic if you get splashed in the face or duck underwater, and to "blow the bubbles" immediately afterwards to get control of your breathing again. Do they do swimming lessons? This has been part of lessons even for really tiny babies ime.
I agree that your DH should have been more aware of your DD slipping (but going up the steps she was well within her depth and could easily get her face up and out of the water herself, not like at the deep end?) but the slide is designed to splash into the water and your husband stopped the sibling interaction before anyone went under at all.

eurochick Sun 18-Sep-16 18:05:05

I think you are about to make your children scared of water. Slipping, going under and so on is a normal part of kiddie swimming. Of course you need to be vigilant but it sounds like you are being over-anxious.

HurryHurryHurry Sun 18-Sep-16 18:08:11

You sound like a delight to go on holiday with

ghostyslovesheep Sun 18-Sep-16 18:18:20

to be fair OP you sound a little hysterical - calm down a bit - you are all on holiday

IhatchedaSnorlax Sun 18-Sep-16 18:23:41

I'm with you Op, sounds like he should be watching them more closely. I would say, however, try to stay calm & not scream as otherwise you will give them a fear of water.

Runningupthathill82 Sun 18-Sep-16 18:27:50

Oh dear. Going underwater is just what happens at the pool, OP. My DS is the same age as your DD and is used to jumping in, diving for dive sticks, ending up underwater at the end of the slide, etc...I really think your panic is doing more harm than good.

Are you usually this anxious? I think you really should relax and try to enjoy your holiday.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 18-Sep-16 18:29:23

You sound rather hysterical.

Lj85mamma Sun 18-Sep-16 18:37:46

To clarify, she was wearing a vest, I didn't actually scream (appreciate I wrote that) I just shouted loud enough for dh to hear as baby aged 1 was about to get dragged underwater, and who will just standby and do nothing while that happens?! And I was quite frazzled after water slide incident, as I didn't actually mention it left dd3 with a cut on the side of her face from the stone floor. They've never had swimming lessons which I deeply regret and I know babies go underwater yes but up to eight months they have a reflex that stops them taking in water they lose this after about 8 months apparently. I tried to explain to my three year old about holding her breath but she doesn't really get it.

Northernlurker Sun 18-Sep-16 18:42:15

I would think your dh is pretty angry with you. Do you really feel he doesn't care about your children's safety? You sound very hard work. Try calming down. Your dc are fine but they won't enjoy the water if you spend the whole time freaking out. Just pull them out and give them a hug.

hardtopinpoint Sun 18-Sep-16 18:44:12

You're going at this all wrong.

Round here proper lessons don't start until 4. Before that it's all about being confident in the water, getting splashed, head under etc.

My three yr old is fearless and swims underwater. She swallows half the pool but loves it.

I agree you're just just going to give your kids a complex. If you can't be relaxed around water I'd go and do something else with the baby while DD and DH enjoy it.

AmeliaLeopard Sun 18-Sep-16 18:46:18

So DD slips on the steps. Perfectly normal. She was not out of her depth, and it doesn't sound like you gave DH much time to react.

DD got a face full of water on a water slide. This is totally ordinary and part of the fun of slides. She was upset. Again, not at all unusual for small children. If she hated it then don't do it again for a while. Equally, she could have loved it. She wouldn't know until she tried it, and she wanted to have a go. DH was not being unreasonable.

I don't really understand the last part. DD nearly grabs DS in the baby pool? Again, not an unusual situation, and screaming at DH seems quite unreasonable. She hadn't even grabbed him and you were screaming and livid at DH and now unable to sleep?! I hope there is some hyperbole going on here.

NavyandWhite Sun 18-Sep-16 18:48:31

Your DD had a vest on and was right next to her father. Get it into perspective.

You sound pretty overwrought. You're on holiday, try and chill out a bit. Not great for DH having you shouting orders at him.

wine

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