To think these Facebook photos and maybe the content are inappropriate (possibly triggering)

(130 Posts)

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Smartcub Sun 18-Sep-16 00:04:01

There's a couple I know, acquaintances, and they have their dgds to stay most weekends. 3 girls.

If it's relevant the children are the grandmothers sons children and stay at the grandparents during his access time while he goes out, he's not with their mum. The grandfather is a step grandfather (not the sons real dad). The grandchildren are primary school age and one is a toddler.

The grandmother posts absolutely everything on Facebook and her relationship with ex dil is very bad to non existent. They don't like each other at all.

Recently there's been loads of photos of the 3 girls in the bath. I thought I wouldn't post those especially as a grandparent but none of my business.

More recently though there are photos of the eldest girl in bed asleep with the grandad with him spooning her. He's fully clothed but she's only got her pants on. What's more is the grandmother has over 1000 friends so hardly a private page.

I'm not saying there's anything going on but a few things crossed my mind.

Is it ok for a step grandad to sleep in bed with his primary school age dgd particularly cuddled up to her in just her underwear?

Is it ok to post the photos on Facebook?

I've no doubt it's completely innocent but to me it just oversteps the grandparent relationship, I'm thinking in terms of teaching children boundaries and privacy.

There is also that niggling doubt in the back of my mind, there was some abuse that went on in my own extended family and it does make you suspicious because you know even the nicest, loveliest people can do terrible things.

YoureaFlutteringCunt Sun 18-Sep-16 00:06:34

Did you start a thread about inappropriate paintings too?

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Sun 18-Sep-16 00:12:28

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Smartcub Sun 18-Sep-16 00:15:32

No I didn't start a thread about paintings?

allsfairinlove Sun 18-Sep-16 00:35:48

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WorraLiberty Sun 18-Sep-16 00:36:32

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BewtySkoolDropowt Sun 18-Sep-16 00:36:51

Well, the fact that they are on Facebook would imply that they are entirely innocent - if they had something to hide they wouldn't be posting the photos up.

But I don't think YABU either.

allsfairinlove Sun 18-Sep-16 00:36:58

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BewtySkoolDropowt Sun 18-Sep-16 00:37:55

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RhodaBorrocks Sun 18-Sep-16 00:39:20

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Smartcub Sun 18-Sep-16 00:39:21

It's not my first post I've been on here years.

I namechanged because it's identifying.

I'm totally confused but hey ho mumsnet is like that sometimes.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 18-Sep-16 00:40:12

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MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Sun 18-Sep-16 00:41:21

What's 'identifying'??

Nothing.... nothing identifying at all

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 18-Sep-16 00:42:09

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Smartcub Sun 18-Sep-16 00:44:56

No I'm not being goady whatsoever.

It's identifying if the lady it's about or one of her friends reads it then links my other posts about my own family or children.

I'm not being goady and I haven't started a thread about paintings.

I can see it's obviously just going to be one of those threads where everyone piles in and tears a strip of the op so carry on.

kali110 Sun 18-Sep-16 00:45:19

So it would be fine then if he wasn't a step grandad but a blood one then? hmm
Odfod, how vile

kali110 Sun 18-Sep-16 00:45:53

Or maybe op everyone thinks this is a horrible post

Smartcub Sun 18-Sep-16 00:46:45

It is very identifying, how many people with 3 granddaughters and a step grandfather plus fractured relationships with dil are going to have posted these specific photos?

Smartcub Sun 18-Sep-16 00:48:28

I didn't say it would or wouldn't be fine I said if it's relevant.

Of course a step parent relationship might be different.

PenelopeFlintstone Sun 18-Sep-16 00:50:11

I think it makes a difference that it's the step-grandad. I remember learning in psychology that stepfathers were statistically more likely to abuse their stepchildren than blood fathers. Obviously doesn't mean they all are or that blood fathers don't do it, but I don't think it's irrelevant. Does sound a bit overly close contact though.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 18-Sep-16 00:50:32

Ok op. Yabu. Like everyone else says. Can you accept that?

WatcherOfTheNight Sun 18-Sep-16 00:54:00

So the photos are on Facebook?
I'm sure it's more likely that if the SGF had untoward intentions he'd stay away from social media pics?

Smartcub Sun 18-Sep-16 00:55:01

Everyone else?

Anyway it's not even just about their relationship but about whether it's fair on the girl to be posting photos of her asleep in bed in her pants to over 1000 people. She's not a baby.

I know that's not a fashionable idea.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 18-Sep-16 00:55:10

Those statistics are irrelevant here Penelope. There is no indication of abuse. So let's not spout out A level Psych without evaluating circumstances and actually having a decent view of the situation.

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 18-Sep-16 00:56:33

So what's the problem then? The photos or the grandad? You made it largely about the grandad.

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