AIBU to expect my best friends to spell my daughters name correctly?

(79 Posts)
IntravenousCaffeine Sat 17-Sep-16 21:20:43

Close close friends, those that are like sisters persistently keep spelling my daughter's name wrong. It's Madison, not Maddison.

I know it may sound trivial but it's starting to annoy the hell out of me. When my friends have children I make a note of their birthdays and correct spellings so in future years there's never any doubt.

Acquaintances I can accept and older family members who are losing their marbles! But I'm talking about best friends that are visiting within hours of you giving birth. They got it right in the first few months and brought personalised gifts (correctly spelt) so they have remembered previously. Perhaps it's just me - but these best best friends should surely continue to remember know how I spell my daughters name or perhaps they just can't be arsed trying to remember which version it is?

Scarydinosaurs Sat 17-Sep-16 21:24:24

Where are they misspelling it? Cards or text messages? Could it be an autocorrect thing?

Sirzy Sat 17-Sep-16 21:24:29

I think if a name has multiple spellings you have to accept that sometimes it will be spelt wrong. Frustrating yes but unless it's done on purpose then I would let it go.

People often drop the letter at the end of my name - which gives it another valid spelling. I don't think my nan ever spelt it correctly and her version was the right letters but wrong order!

RiverTam Sat 17-Sep-16 21:25:52

Yanbu, but loads of people will pile on telling you that you are and of course it's unreasonable for anyone to take the time to get a name right. Bullshit is it.

balia Sat 17-Sep-16 21:26:31

My MIL still spells mine and DS's names wrong. It's not personal.

TheGruffaloMother Sat 17-Sep-16 21:27:48

You're fighting a losing battle OP. I'm 28 and there are family members who still manage to add extra letters to my 4 letter name. Even on Facebook where they can literally see my name on their screen.

JinkxMonsoon Sat 17-Sep-16 21:28:09

Maddison looks like a misspelling anyway.

YANBU. They used to spell it correctly, so why start doing it wrong? Make the effort to double check!

Tattoosandteadresses Sat 17-Sep-16 21:29:12

Dd's dad spells her name wrong, just to give you perspective grin

NormHonal Sat 17-Sep-16 21:30:10

A wise person once told me that the most important thing about someone, the thing that shows you care, is their name, and remembering it. Correctly.

YANBU.

BendydickCuminsnatch Sat 17-Sep-16 21:37:20

I'd say YANBU, it only takes a little effort to remember how to spell a name, for most people. If they just don't give a shit and are just being lazy, that would piss me off.

My name is the most normal spelling of a name with multiple spellings, people get it wrong but I let it wash over me. DS has an unusual name that is often said wrong as well as spelt wrong and again it doesn't bother us. But in theory it is irritating and dismissive!

IntravenousCaffeine Sat 17-Sep-16 22:22:15

Thanks for your replies. I've accepted since picking her name that this is going to happen for the rest of her life. Poor girl!!

People are always going to get it wrong, I'll accept that. My friends should know better. Or perhaps I need to find better friends who care?!

I would absolutely mortified to realise I had been spelling one of their children's name wrong. I guess everyone has different views on what's important.

IntravenousCaffeine Sat 17-Sep-16 22:23:54

N*ormhonal - love this!!*
A wise person once told me that the most important thing about someone, the thing that shows you care, is their name, and remembering it. Correctly.

IntravenousCaffeine Sat 17-Sep-16 22:24:41

Tattoos - total perspective. I should stop
complaining really!

IntravenousCaffeine Sat 17-Sep-16 22:26:41

Scarydinosaurs - both text msgs and invitations. Handwritten ones so no can't fully blame autocorrect.

Cherryskypie Sat 17-Sep-16 22:32:18

It's a popular name so maybe they know other Madisons and default to that spelling? In my class at school we had a Katherine, Kathryn and Catherine. They all had to put up with their name being misspelt but at least it was always pronounced right! Try not to get too mad at your friends over it.

nosyupnorth Sat 17-Sep-16 22:35:52

how old is DD? If they've known her name for years and they're spelling it wrong then yeah, that's lazy and rude.

But the way you refer to them getting it right in the first few months makes me thing you're talking about a baby that hasn't been around for that long which means mistakes will happen - the first two years after my brother was born we got all sorts of weird and wonderful variant spellings by people who could remember his name but hadn't seen it written down enough times to get the spelling my parents chose fixed in their heads.

Names are hard for some people and they were only one letter out, I'd be inclined to let it slide.

Cocochoco Sat 17-Sep-16 22:39:27

My darling granny always spelled my dd's name incorrectly. Dd took to spelling it the same way whenever she wrote cards to her, to make sure my granny never realised and felt bad! And my mum constantly spelled my dh's name wrongly until I corrected her.

I'd just let your friends know in a by-the-way kind of way some time.

EarthboundMisfit Sat 17-Sep-16 22:41:01

My DH of over a decade adds an extra letter to my name on occasion...

Cherryskypie Sat 17-Sep-16 22:41:45

From a quick look at the stats, 577 people named baby girls Maddison in 2015. 517 people named baby girls Madison. It is an easy mistake to make.

SpookyPotato Sat 17-Sep-16 22:42:18

I get you OP as that's something I would always make sure I've gotten right, but from experience you're correct in saying that people think different things are important and will put more effort into something you might not give a second thought to. I wouldn't take it to heart as I doubt it's intentional smile

crazywriter Sat 17-Sep-16 22:44:29

YANBU my FIL spells DD1s name wrong every single time and it's always a different spelling. It annoyed me at first but now it's become a running joke. DH and I keepisode wondering what spelling he'll come up with next.

Growing up in also had uncles completely get my name wrong in cards. They were corrected each time but it was pure laziness.

Mention it to your friends. If it was me and they continued it after that I'd spell their DCs names wrong in purpose to see how they liked it.

humblesims Sat 17-Sep-16 22:45:54

My own father would spell my name wrong on letters to school etc. All the right letters but not necessarily in the right order.
I can see why you would be frustrated but possibly your friends are not doing it on purpose and would try harder if they knew it was upsetting you.

crazywriter Sat 17-Sep-16 22:46:02

Oh and my DD1 us 4 so we've had to deal with multiple spellings. We knew that when she was born but not by her GF.

SalemSaberhagen Sat 17-Sep-16 22:46:07

Someone spelt my DD's name Elyza the other day. confused

Bluebolt Sat 17-Sep-16 22:49:15

Sometimes the brain just does not see the mistake. I have a friend called Jasmine but my brain automatically reverts to Yasmine. I find myself avoiding writing her name unless I have my diary as I have brain gymnastics with the j and the y. It's not as if they are even the same sound! My DP has spelt his middle name wrong all his life or his mum spelt it wrong on his birth certificate.

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