For wanting to move house while on disability benefits?

(50 Posts)
SuramarMom Sat 17-Sep-16 18:12:29

Dh is pretty despondent about all this but I am trying to remain positive.

We need to move house.

I had been looking into options but something a close friend has said has given me pause to wonder whether we are being entitled even asking if we can. I'm not even sure it's possible.

So as not to drip feed here are the details:

We are currently in a 3 bed with two medium sized bedrooms and a box room. There is our bedroom, dd's bedroom, dsd's (50/50 care) bedroom.

We have a mortgage. I am dh's carer. We get income support and council tax benefit as well as disability benefits.

Dh is disabled, it's never going to get better. He is on the high rate of Pip.

Our daughter has autism and is also on the highest rate of the care component of dla. She needs her own room.

Ds is in our room at the minute but he is fast outgrowing his side cot.

I can't fit a full size cot in our room or in dsd's box room. Dd is very aggressive during the night so he can't go in her room.

So we are stuck and need another bedroom.

I was looking in to mortgage brokers and was about to ask the cab for advice but it got back to me that my friend had been going on to everyone about how selfish and entitled we were thinking about using benefits to get a larger house.

Are we?

DerekSprechenZeDick Sat 17-Sep-16 18:13:20

Of course not! If you need to move you need to move

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 17-Sep-16 18:17:15

Surely that's exactly what benefits are for?? You need the extra room because of DD's disability.

Babyroobs Sat 17-Sep-16 18:17:38

I don't think you are being entitled, but can you even get a bigger mortgage if totally reliant on benefits? I don't know whether mortgage companies will atke benefits into consideration, I guess they must consider some of them that are unlikely to change like PIP. In the emantime could your dsd and your son share the larger of the 2 bedrooms and your dd have the smaller room if she would cope with that? Sorry that you have so much on your plate it sounds like a difficult situation.

SuramarMom Sat 17-Sep-16 18:18:24

Thanks DerekSprechenZeDick

I feel quite awful since this gossip has gotten back to me. Apparently we have been called a family of 'fucking scroungers'.

We both worked before dh's disability. I can't believe she has said such horrible things.

SuramarMom Sat 17-Sep-16 18:22:30

Thanks Babyroobs that could be an option if we can't move though I think it would upset dsd (teenager really fond of her own space 😄)

I was told an independent mortgage broker 'may' be able to help but I have only recently started looking in to if it is possible so that may not be true.

SuramarMom Sat 17-Sep-16 18:22:54

I hope so JenLindly

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 17-Sep-16 18:25:27

Your friend is not a friend, she's not even very bright or nice

OnlyTheWelshCanCwtch Sat 17-Sep-16 18:28:30

Are you looking at buying another house or looking at Council housing?
I cant honestly see you being approved for a new mortgage if your only income are benefits.

And as for you being entitled and selfish...WTF?
How do they work that one out?

BeyondASpecialSnowflake Sat 17-Sep-16 18:28:35

Yanbu, but I don't know how easy it will be to get a new mortgage. Your friend is being a wanker.

Do you have a "convertible" possible attic?

PeachBellini123 Sat 17-Sep-16 18:28:51

I think you need to ditch your friend. Sounds as though your family has outgrown the house - good luck with your search for something more suitable smile

SuramarMom Sat 17-Sep-16 18:33:25

Oh yes she is most certainly being ditched. I haven't spoken to her yet.

It's most likely impossible it was just something I was musing over and starting to look into when she decided to turn nasty on us.

The attic conversion is also another option.

Thank you for the ideas sometimes it's hard to see solutions when you are in the middle of it all!

Babyroobs Sat 17-Sep-16 18:54:04

Or perhaps if you have 2 seperate rooms downstairs could you extend one to make a decent sized lounge / diner and turn the front room into a downstairs bedroom for dsd? This is how we have got around needing another bedroom without moving. Good luck with finding a solution.

YANBU, it sounds like you desperately need it. You might find a sideways move easier to afford e.g. larger house in worse area or 3-bed with a downstairs room that could be a bedroom etc. Good luck!

Seeyouontheotherside Sat 17-Sep-16 19:50:51

Your friend sounds horrible. Benefits exist for people in your situation. This is needed for your family. Go for it.

Dawndonnaagain Sat 17-Sep-16 20:13:17

There are some mortgage companies that will give a mortgage to those in receipt of DLA/PiP and Carer's Allowance.
You are not being entitled, you are being perfectly reasonable, ignore your so called friend.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sat 17-Sep-16 20:46:22

Fuck what your "friend" thinks. And fuck her off as well. She's closed minded and toxic.

flirtygirl Sat 17-Sep-16 20:52:40

You can apply to the local council for a disabled facilities grant, it may have been cut by now but if still in your area, an occupational therapist will assess and produce a report and the council could put an extra room on your home, ie attic or extension as your home has to fit your needs and the needs of those disabled in your family. Its worth ringing them about.

TheABC Sat 17-Sep-16 21:00:17

You may find it easier to convert the attic than go through the stress and upheaval of moving, especially with three children and your caring duties.

Your neighbour can swivel. Benefits were set up precisely for your family's situation. Your need for extra room is no different than if your DH was able bodied again and you were both working.

Good luck

RubbleBubble00 Sat 17-Sep-16 21:16:07

Does dh require a wheel chair/specially adapted home? If so I would go to council/housing executive as there are properties available for disabled families, they are rare but worth looking into if you fit the criteria.

Amelie10 Sat 17-Sep-16 21:24:20

Yanbu, she isn't a friend and should be ditched!! You need another bedroom, no way around it.

katiemarnie Sat 17-Sep-16 21:43:57

You could possibly port your existing mortgage?

imisschocolate Sun 18-Sep-16 04:20:23

I would imagine that the problem a lit of people would have with this is the fact that tax payers are basically going to be buying you a house. I'm not sure that taking a mortgage while on benefits is fair.

Also, if you are in benefits and have a mortgage what will happen if you get a large repair bill? On benefits you have no control over your income. If you had to pay 15k to replace a roof etc would you be able to find this?

This is in no way saying you are not entitled to benefits or commenting on what you receive. That is between you and the government.

Yes you need more space but can't you apply for a council house? That would also protect you from large unexpected repair bills, extra security, etc.

Thing is chocolate, if they rent, they're paying the mortgage of their landlord. I'd rather OP got a house paid for than a landlord. I firmly believe benefits, particularly for people with disabilities, should level the playing field a little. OP's not lazy or workshy. Two people with additional needs live in a house. Which they will eventually own. Is that really an issue?

OP... Talk to the Council and the CAB and see if there's any way to get help to convert or get an extra bedroom. Good luck.

sashh Sun 18-Sep-16 04:38:18

Not only can people on benefits move but sometimes the council will extend a house for them. Those selfish bastards who need a wet room or a down stairs room.

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