to tell guests to buy themselves a takeaway?

(498 Posts)
OohMavis Sat 17-Sep-16 07:08:24

We have DH's family descending upon us today to visit and meet our four-week-old. They will expect feeding. They're not 'shove a pizza in the oven' kind of family, either.

Would it be rude to point them in the direction of the fish and chip shop and chinese takeaway over the road? We have a small house and there will be five of them. No dining table.

There will be tea and biscuits but that's all I'm planning on having in, our weekly shop is Monday.

Aibu?

blueturtle6 Sat 17-Sep-16 07:10:04

Witha four week old will they be expecting food? Yanbu

Spiderpigspiderpig Sat 17-Sep-16 07:10:08

I'd go one better and tell them to bugger off before dinner time

Rosae Sat 17-Sep-16 07:10:19

Will you not be eating too?

FruitCider Sat 17-Sep-16 07:10:32

No! You have a 4 week old baby! Do what the hell you want!

freshstart22 Sat 17-Sep-16 07:11:20

Could you lay on a few sandwiches? Get your husband to do it?

tellyjots Sat 17-Sep-16 07:12:28

Nope. Inconsiderate twats.

daimbar Sat 17-Sep-16 07:13:17

A little bit rude to send them off.

I would hand this one over the DH, either ask him to take orders and bring a takeaway back for everyone or get a few easy nibbles like bread, cheese, quiche and salad.

Rosae Sat 17-Sep-16 07:13:45

What I mean by that is if you are eating then just make/buy more. They are visiting with a 4 week old so they have to fit in with you. If that means putting some extra pizzas in, adding extra veg to a meal to make it go further or getting a takeaway....

Lostwithinthehills Sat 17-Sep-16 07:14:30

Ŵho invited them to stay?

OohMavis Sat 17-Sep-16 07:14:35

My appetite is through the floor so beyond breakfast, probably not! Might get some takeaway with them if I'm hungry later.

They're all very health conscious so I'm not sure how well this suggestion will go down.

JustPoppingIn Sat 17-Sep-16 07:16:09

How far are they travelling? If it was a longer journey, I would do more than tea and biscuits, bur get DH to arrange.

Meeting newest member of the family is a bit of a celebration.

Purplepicnic Sat 17-Sep-16 07:16:31

I think they get what they're given. Pizza in the oven is fine!

FruitCider Sat 17-Sep-16 07:16:41

Tell them you and DH are knackered, so plan on buying take away, but they are more than welcome to bring food with them.

OliviaStabler Sat 17-Sep-16 07:17:41

You get your dh to reverse the idea of them being fed at yours. Expectations managed.

Stitchfusion Sat 17-Sep-16 07:17:56

NO. I would expect the dh to organise the food. However, depending on the family, they may think that by 4 weeks post partum you should be well enough to be doing simple tasks like cooking.
either way, telling people to go get a take away is rude. If your dh wont oblige, then just dont do anything at all. And when its time to eat, ask them politely what they brought. howeover be prepared to take some flak for being a crap wife over the next 2 decades because you werent cooking 3 course meals by a month postpartum.
I dont think you should cook a meal btw. I just know the sort of family you are talking about and what they will say. I wouldnt bother with sandwichs as they take time and effort to make and yet will be considered worse than a packet of rich tea biscuits. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. STay stong.

TheDowagerCuntess Sat 17-Sep-16 07:17:56

Of course you're not being unreasonable - but if they're not a 'shove a pizza in the oven' type of family, then they're probably going to look askance at this suggestion, too.

But sod them. Nobody comes to visit a 4-week old, and expects a home cooked dinner, so all good.

cheekyfunkymonkey Sat 17-Sep-16 07:19:35

Get the pizza's, if they complain point them in the direction of the chippy

Masketti Sat 17-Sep-16 07:19:55

Dinner time was witching hour for us so definitely time for guests to leave. Tell them about a local restaurant.

BertrandRussell Sat 17-Sep-16 07:20:01

Get your dp to ring his mum/dad and say "What shall we do about food today? Shall we have a takeaway, or could you pop into the shop on the way and buy some soup and bread? And could you get some [insert treat food here] because Mavis hasn't got much of an appetite. We've got plenty of tea and biscuits"

OohMavis Sat 17-Sep-16 07:21:34

Oh I wasn't expecting them to go elsewhere to eat. The takeaway places are literally across the road so they can bring it all back here.

Last time the inlaws came to visit the baby was only a few days old and they sat on their bums while we fed them lunch and dinner. They're coming again today only with extra family members! I guess this is me trying to put my foot gingerly down a bit.

And I've bought a nursing cover so I can sit and feed DD downstairs this time too.

P1nkP0ppy Sat 17-Sep-16 07:22:13

If they had an common sense your visitors would have offered to bring food for everyone with them.
I certainly wouldn't expect to turn up and be fed.

DavetheCat2001 Sat 17-Sep-16 07:22:19

From memory when DS was a baby and the inlaws/my sister and family descended, we just had some salads/ quiches/pizza/potato salad/bread etc for lunch and everyone was happy to just graze on that.

I was in no fit state to cook anything (PND), and if I recall correctly OH's mother bought most of the stuff for lunch en route so it was just a case of laying it out on the table.

Get your DH to pop down to Sainsburys or wherever and grab some bits.

I certainly wouldn't expect to be cooked for if I was visiting a newborn, and if they are then they are def BU in my opinion.

Mistylake Sat 17-Sep-16 07:22:48

Sounds like they're not your favourite people in the world and you resent them wanting to get to know their newest family member. I guess there's history that explains why your DH can't be bothered to change the shopping day to buy some easy but lovely ready meals. I think take aways are OK if DH/you really can't manage but I'd definitely never let guests get them and pay themselves, I'd either get them delivered or send DH to pick them up. What's DH's role in all this? Is he on better terms with his side of the family? Is he giving you enough support with baby?

I would get DH to call and explain food will be from takeaway. I wouldn't bother with feeding cover on anyone else's account by the way, I'd openly sit and feed. If it makes anyone uncomfortable, they can remove themselves. Obv if makes you more comfortable then go for it

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