BIL really upset DH ..being rude or just drunk?

(14 Posts)

Went to a family party recently at Dsis..just found out whilst v drunk her DH stood up and declared my other BIL as his favourite and bestest ever mate/top boy whatever ..someone even said "what about smellys DH" to which he apparently replied "hes alright but (other BIL) my favourite". AIBU to think that even if you are blind drunk that is just rude and horrid..even if there is some grain of truth in it? The three of th have always got on so well DH thinks of them.both as brothers. He is an only child so it has always been lovely to see but just lately maybe it has got into playground territory and he seems to be left.our of some sought of bromance confused should I say.something..I want to.. DH has obviously been simmering on it which won't be good at family get togethers. I also want to say how rude it was but suspect I'll get told im being too sensitive

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 16-Sep-16 21:09:21

I don't know really, the truth comes out when your dunk they say, but it may be more of a reflection of the "bromance" and relationship between your bils as opposed to your dh, it obviously wasn't meant as a slight on your dh as it was someone other than your bils that mentioned him

yeah I suppose so..I just feel really disappointed I thought they were all close it's usually us sisters that are always arguing and sniping so this is a shock ...they've known each 11years now . Hate the way drink makes people behave ...

RubbleBubble00 Fri 16-Sep-16 21:47:45

Not really mean. The person who asked him about your dh was stirring. He said a stupid thing when he was drunk. Relationships eb and flow

HeddaGarbled Fri 16-Sep-16 22:55:52

That's life I'm afraid. If the other two BILs are best mates, that's just the way it is. Hurtful for your H but I don't think anyone has been rude or horrid and I certainly don't think that you should say anything or that your H has any right to be "simmering". The fact that he hadn't realised that he was slightly outside the bond between the two of them until this occasion is actually a testament to how generous, inclusive, friendly and thoughtful they both are. Your H needs some friends outside your family.

DeathStare Sat 17-Sep-16 05:03:54

He was drunk. I'd forget all about it and assume it's meaningless. I can't begin to count the number of people I've declared "my bestest friend" or told that them that I love them when I'm drunk. Almost none of them were true. He'll have woken up the next morning and squirmed.

The person who told you is shit-stirring. Don't let them succeed.

LyndaNotLinda Sat 17-Sep-16 05:16:03

He wasn't being rude - you weren't even there.

Agree that whoever told you is shit-stirring. Don't let them

DixieWishbone Sat 17-Sep-16 05:28:43

Why on Earth was someone telling you this? What do they expect you to do about it? Ten to one it is a pile of silly drunken nonsense that someone has embellished to make a good story and stir up a bunch of drama.

I wouldn't say anything about it, and encourage your DH not to read too much into it. If he wants to be close friends with his BIL, simmering about this is not going to advance things much.

user1471734618 Sat 17-Sep-16 05:32:20

when people pass on this kind of story, it is rarely out of kindness , is it?

Honestly he was just drunk and whoever told you the story probably embellished it as well.

BillSykesDog Sat 17-Sep-16 05:36:07

He was just pissed and talking shit. Anyway, even if he is a bit closer to one BIL than another, does it really matter? That's life. It's not like he slagged him off or said he didn't like him.

phillipp Sat 17-Sep-16 07:09:01

You are thinking of approaching your sisters dh, to say your dh is upset because he is better friends with another BIL?

Really?

Firstly if this is bothering your dh so much, he should be the one to say something.

Secondly this is all very childish. He was drunk, probably trying to make a joke, and so what if he is closer to one BIL than the other?

Relationships can't be forced. It's all very school playground.

I can't imagine being told I have to be as close to have the same relationship and feel the same about both my sils.

aurynne Sat 17-Sep-16 07:23:01

Are you all 12 years old?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 17-Sep-16 07:30:29

No I really wouldn't say anything at all, there's no point. That's the way he feels and yes I DO think it was rude/slightly mean to point it out in public at a party, especially if they've been hanging out as a trio for some time; but challenging it will not only not improve it, it could make it worse.

Your DH just needs to step away from them both a bit and make more friends of his own, so he's not in any way reliant on this one (and possibly the other one as well).

TheNaze73 Sat 17-Sep-16 07:33:20

This does sound very juvenile. I think your DH is being over sensitive

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