Have name changed to protect myself as some details may be identifying. But been around a while - penguin bollards, cancelled chequers etc
Sat at work today and overheard 2 colleagues discussing rape and a certain footballer awaiting a retrial.
Colleague 1 states that as far as they are concerned it should only be classed as rape if the person is dragged into a bush screaming. Colleague 2 agrees and states that as so much is now classed as rape they don't really understand what rape really is any more.
As a rape survivor who was not dragged into a bush but in a burgeoning relationship and was asleep in my own bed when I woke to find new boyfriend having sex with me without any consent and already fully aware that I was not ready to take that step in our relationship I find Thai attitude appalling.
AIBU to be really sad that people think this way?
AIBU?
That this attitude to rape exists ***trigger warning***
summercoldssuck · 16/09/2016 17:55
YANBU at all, some people have truly disgusting attitudes towards rape mainly through ignorance and a skewed sense of morality.
Ages ago (before we went NC with them all) MIL was telling me about a member of SILs husband's family. This family member was up in court for raping his wife. None of them could quite work out how a man can rape his wife because they're married, apparently a ring equates to consent. Without going into potentially triggering details about it here, I said I could see exactly how the situation was rape. But no, according to them she was pursuing a prosecution so that she could get an easy divorce and all of the money 
Thankfully for every pigshit ignorant person, there appears to be at least one other shouting them down and arguing the point about consent.
I'd have interrupted and told them to Google the stats on stranger rape. It's the rarest form. Very few rapes are perpetrated by someone unknown to the victim. I've known that since I was about 12.
Ignorant fuckers. People like this need to be pulled up and shamed!!
Sorry to hear what you went through OP 
It is sad but unfortunately I've heard very similar conversations, and not always from men.
When I was raped it wasn't a dragged into a hedge screaming thing either but there is no way in hell that creature could have thought it was consentual either, you'd have thought saying no would have given him the hint.
YANBU OP. I'm sorry for what happened to you too.
Neither of my rapes were the dragging into a hedge kicking and screaming kind either - in fact one of mine was a school friend who I had a crush on, and the fucked-up-ness of the strange setting he arranged messed with my mind far more than the more clear-cut nightclub rape by another guy a few months later (though not clear cut enough for the police who sent me home that night with a message that I shouldn't get drunk and cry rape in future).
Over twenty years later and ironically, today I made an appointment to speak to somebody at my local SARC.
Good god yanbu. And to you and all other rape survivors
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
OP.
I lost my virginity by rape by a boyfriend in the '80s. Attitudes then were (a) is he your boyfriend (b) did you go to the location with him and (c) were you wearing a skirt - yes to all meant tough luck, from parents and police. I've long since come to terms with it but I agree that the attitudes don't seem to have changed as much as I would have hoped.
The only way they will is with the mantra "rape is rape unless a clear yes was given" is repeated - whatever the combination of rapist / victim. And that anyone who is drunk / drugged is incapable of giving informed consent. If it means waiting till the object of your lust is sober/ fully awake, so what? It'll be better for both anyway.
As parent of a teenager, I'm soooo conscious about the consent issue and hate the fact that I've had to explain to DD about how to break away if need me.
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