To find play dates stressful

(9 Posts)
Mollymoo78 Thu 15-Sep-16 22:04:12

I try to do play dates for dd age 4 who is an only child and rather shy. But I hate them! Today was a case in point, had a mum and her two children age 4 and 1. Spent the whole time trying to get her dd and mine to play together and not ignore each other or argue and desperately trying to make stilted conversation with the mum without saying anything inappropriate or stupid or offensive while simultaneously trying to stop her toddler putting everything into his mouth. Feel like a useless mum with an anti social daughter and a hazardous home!!! Just want to go away and avoid it all at half term! I am just and natural introvert just prefer family time the three of us but I know this socialising lark is a must when you're a parent and it feels like hard work sometimes!! confused

clematisflower Thu 15-Sep-16 22:06:00

I feel the same. I have found playdates in the park can work better, and then you can leave if it all gets to much for you or your child!

DerekSprechenZeDick Thu 15-Sep-16 22:06:17

Play date is a stupid term for it

Call it having a mate for tea like it was when I was growing up and the stress just falls away

You don't need to get the kids to play together. As long as they aren't fighting leave them be

Use the time to have a drink or a bitch with a mate. That's the point of them. Fuck the kids 😂

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 15-Sep-16 22:23:15

That's what happens though, when you force children to play together by organising "play dates" for them. Children make friends on their own terms. Would you like someone to force you to be friends with someone you weren't keen on.
That's the thing with children, though. They're very honest. If they don't like each other, then. They don't like each other. They won't say. Okay we dislike each other, but. We'll be civil and get along for our parents sake. Kids don't work like that.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 15-Sep-16 22:39:39

Hi found the same as you, now ds 4 meets in the park, much easier and less mess.

RubbleBubble00 Thu 15-Sep-16 22:42:24

Iv steered mine towards activities so they meet other kids and socialise. It gets easier when they are school age as they can come fore tea without parents

Salmiak Thu 15-Sep-16 22:57:29

I try and host at least one or two a week. But the main reason I invite people over is that it forces me to clean/tidy the house beforehand. I naturally quite lazy, but knowing other people will be coming round somehow turns me into a lean mean cleaning machine.

They are also a lot easier now dd is 6 - her and her friend tend to disappear into the bedroom and I get to enjoy my lovely tidy living room. Sometimes other parents will stay for a cuppa but most just do a quick drop off and pick up.

SpookyPotato Thu 15-Sep-16 23:07:32

You don't have to force yourself to be sociable! If it's hard work and not enjoyable then don't do them.. your DD will make her own friends and then you can just have the child over for tea, without trying to force them to get on.

RhodaBorrocks Thu 15-Sep-16 23:14:18

Why were you stopping the baby from shoving things in his mouth if his mum was there? Did she abdicate responsibility because you were hosting?

TBH, I hate them too though. Luckily I've found a lovely relaxed group of mums who get together both with and without the kids. They all play together and form their own little groups, and we can drink coffee and chat. When we have evening meet ups we drink lots of wine instead!

Big group play dates have saved my sanity, much less pressure and they can be at the park rather than in your home!

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