AIBU to feel uncomfortable that DD's classroom assistant is the mum of one of the children in the class?

(86 Posts)
Mumalade Thu 15-Sep-16 11:51:28

DD has just gone into year 6 and the new TA is the mother of one of the girls in the class. I feel quite uncomfortable about this - AIBU?

booklooker Thu 15-Sep-16 11:55:08

So, would you be uncomfortable with your DD entering my class where I teach my own DD.

I have not had any comments from other parents, maybe they are just keeping quiet

We had this last year and I was that child when my mum was a TA, what don't you like about it? I never got special treatment, probably the opposite

KateBeckett Thu 15-Sep-16 11:55:59

No, yanbu. It's unusual and wouldn't be allowed at any of the schools I've worked at.

That doesn't mean it WILL be a problem though...

OvO Thu 15-Sep-16 11:57:14

I wouldn't worry unless your Dd comes home full of tales of favouritism.
The other mum might be very professional about it all and it not be an issue.

Last year in my DS's class the TA was the mum of the teacher! grin

MidnightRunner87 Thu 15-Sep-16 11:57:41

You are really, quite a few of the teachers and ta's at my children's school have children who attend there-both my children have at least one child each in their classes who's parent works for the school it's never occurred to me to think anything of it.

Bountybarsyuk Thu 15-Sep-16 11:59:10

It's extremely common for TAs to be parents of children in the school, it's not a well-paid job, but it requires dedication and school hours work, so it's a very popular choice for parents. My dd has had a TA with a child in the same class, it was only for one year though as the TA then moved about a lot. I wouldn't be worried about this unless there was an obvious issue (favouritism, interfering with friendship groups).

aginghippy Thu 15-Sep-16 11:59:19

My cousin was in this situation, her mum was a volunteer in the school and then went on to work as a TA. From what I could see, it was a problem for my cousin more than for any of the other children in the class.

minipie Thu 15-Sep-16 12:00:13

I think as long as she is discreet and doesn't share tales of what X and Y children do in class then it's fine.

If you get any hint of her spreading her classroom knowledge outside the classroom - that's when I'd be bothered.

Or favouritism but suspect that's less of a risk as the teacher would notice that.

Skittlesss Thu 15-Sep-16 12:01:22

Yes you are BU. It shouldn't make any difference at all. When I was at primary school quite a few of the TAs had children in the class and it never made a difference.

HermioneJeanGranger Thu 15-Sep-16 12:01:23

When I was at school, at least every year group had a student whose parent taught at the school in some capacity, so I see it as pretty normal.

It just makes sense, surely. No separate school run, before/after school care at your job, being able to attend special assemblies etc.

What about it makes you feel uncomfortable?

Yabnu. Where possible teaching staff should not be in the same class as their own child.

Bit different if the TA is one-to-one support for a child who happens to be in her daughter's class.

But a class TA who couldn't work in any other class in the school? That's not common.

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 15-Sep-16 12:01:51

I think it is a recipe for disaster and am amazed schools do it.

WatchingFromTheWings Thu 15-Sep-16 12:01:55

YABU. My DS currently has a TA with a DS in the same class. I'm guessing with 28 kids in the class chances are they spend very little time together. Don't see the problem.

Discobabe Thu 15-Sep-16 12:02:03

I think yabu. Why does it bother you? I suspect a lot of the lunchtime staff are parents of kids there too, possibly other TA's, reception staff, teachers as well?

HereIAm20 Thu 15-Sep-16 12:03:03

My husband has his Dad as a science teacher but it worked against rather than for. His Dad expected better from him than the others and would mark his work down.

Teachers and TA usually go out of their way to make sure they do not act favourably to their own child sometimes to the point they are treated more harshly.

HereIAm20 Thu 15-Sep-16 12:04:04

Just had a thought - is it more the issue that another parent will know about your child's ability? Again as long as they are professional and don't spread stuff to others about your child's ability there shouldn't be a problem.

Pigeonpost Thu 15-Sep-16 12:04:16

Eh? My children go to the only primary school in our small rural town and most of the staff are related to some of the pupils in one way or another. From what I know of people whose parents taught them at school they usually hated it as they perceived their parent to be generally stricter with them than with everyone else precisely to avoid being accused of favouritism.

MrsJoeyMaynard Thu 15-Sep-16 12:05:00

It's not necessarily going to be a problem for your DD. Best to keep an open mind about it rather than assuming there's likely to be issues because of this.

Seems unusual though, I was at school with a few teacher's kids, and have a few friends with children who work in the schools their kids go to, and IME generally schools try and put the teacher / TA parent and child in separate classes where possible (although of course it's not always possible to do that in every school).

HairsprayBabe Thu 15-Sep-16 12:14:18

My Mum was my teacher, my aunt was my TA and my Dad was Head of Governors all at different points in my schooling,. It was never an issue, schools are communities there is always overlap somewhere!

lalalalyra Thu 15-Sep-16 12:15:35

Is it a small school?

The majority of schools won't do it if they can help it because it causes problems (well, mostly it doesn't cause problems in the class, but causes problems with parents because of their perception).

To be honest, the person I'd feel sorriest for is the DD of the TA. Parents always expect their child to behave better than any other, and often in these situation people try very hard not to show favouritism which results in them being harder on their own child. She'll also have to deal with her parent knowing about every, single classroom telling off when other children won't have their parents told unless it's something serious.

GeorgiePeachie Thu 15-Sep-16 12:16:06

Yabu. I went to schools where BOTH parents worked at the school and taught their son. one was a PE teacher and one was the headmaster.

My Middle school was a bit unconventional and had several parents who were teachers.

It's not a problem, only if the child slips up and calls her mum... which which case there's a little laugh at the mistake and we all carry on. Nay biggy

FV45 Thu 15-Sep-16 12:16:12

We have this a lot in our school. Village school. One form per year.
Parents are friends outside school with the TAs where they remain utterly professional.
I think it's great. The TAs know my child both in and out of school thus the school feels more a part of the community.

QueenLizIII Thu 15-Sep-16 12:19:23

Why do think this is a situation where somehow the child with a mum as a TA will benefit from some kind of special treatment.

I actually would have hated my mum as a TA or teacher over the age of about 7 or 8. They can see everything you do, and any bad behaviour or acting up in class will be seen by your mum too and can actually get a harder time for it.

I actually feel sorry for the kid.

m0therofdragons Thu 15-Sep-16 12:19:39

I'm sad my dd2 will never have a certain teacher as her dd is in my dd's class and our school is big enough so we don't have staff teaching their dc. She's a fab teacher so my dd will miss out. (School is fab so I'm not worried, it's just a shame). If she's a good TA then their is no issue and I'm sure that was taken into account when arranging staffing.

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