To be fed up of being stuck in the middle?

(6 Posts)
Dizneyfairy Wed 14-Sep-16 23:18:55

I live at home with my elderly parents and my 17 year old daughter who is just starting her second year of A levels. My mother has bi-polar and the stress this brings to the home is considerable. She is due out of hospital tomorrow after a stay for psychiatric care and then had her appendix out. My mental health isn't great and my daughter has had problems. I don't work and am torn between trying to leave home to give my daughter a more stable environment, but I would feel as if I am abandoning my parents. Anyone been through anything similar with some advice please?

VioletBam Thu 15-Sep-16 02:13:28

Your daughter must come first. It's not your complete responsibility to remain at home for your parents.

You really need to get your own place. Without a job though that will be very difficult. How long since you worked?

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Thu 15-Sep-16 04:55:47

I agree that your daughter is your priority. I would leave if you can especially if your DM's bipolar is creating problems for your daughter. If your daughter is 17 and in her second A level year presumably she'll be off to uni in a year's time? Could you move out and rent somewhere temporarily for a year just to get her through this final year - maybe near your parents so you can still be close by if they need you? Then reevaluate the situation in a year's time

CodyKing Thu 15-Sep-16 05:05:12

Have you ever lived away from home?

Your daughter May well be leaving for uni - but I think you may need the space to help you deal with your parent s on a daily basis -- it's nice to have your own freedom and make your own choices - look at renting

Chottie Thu 15-Sep-16 05:22:09

Your DD needs to come first.....

I would also seriously consider moving out. You need some space too, you would be available to help but not 24/7.

I would be remembering the airline safety advice about fixing your own oxygen mask, before helping anyone else fix theirs....

Dizneyfairy Thu 15-Sep-16 08:55:01

Thank you so much for all your replies. I know I need to take action to enable my daughter to fulfill her potential and get to Uni next year.

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