To find it rude to stand when others are sitting

(18 Posts)
INXS Tue 13-Sep-16 20:52:36

Went to the swimming pool today with DS and FIL. Before we left I asked, "will you be ok sitting on the ground, or shall I bring the camping chair?" (easily stowed under the pram) but was told not to worry.

We get there, DS gets in the pool, I lay the towels down and sit down... and FIL just stands there, three feet behind me and to my left. "Would you like to sit down?" I ask. Answer, "oh, I'm quite used to standing."

Sit there for a while, then feeling increasingly uncomfortable I ask "...shall we move to a bench?" "Oh no, I'm fine." Then carries on standing there, gazing blankly into the middle distance.

It just made me feel really weird - conversation was impossible, although he'd occasionally say things I couldn't hear and I'd have to twist around to ask him to repeat himself. It also made me feel like he wanted to leave. I was fully dressed btw, so it's not like it was an awkward "my DIL is right next to me in a bikini this is weird" kinda scenario. Just sit down FFS! AIBU?

Casmama Tue 13-Sep-16 20:54:51

Yes.
He might have been thinking you were rude as he was having to look down!
You each made a different choice - how bizarre that you are automatically right and he is rude.

WingsofNylon Tue 13-Sep-16 20:58:18

It is an odd choice to make but I'd say it was a bit rude of you not to get up and join him.

INXS Tue 13-Sep-16 21:01:03

WingsofNylon so if he's the one who makes the odd choice, I should have to fall in line with him? But he doesn't have to do the same for me?

happypoobum Tue 13-Sep-16 21:02:48

It wouldn't have made me feel uncomfortable at all to be honest.....

DeathStare Tue 13-Sep-16 21:02:56

He wanted to stand so he stood. You wanted to sit so you sat. What's the big deal?

It clearly didn't make him uncomfortable, so if it made you uncomfortable you should have been the one to change what you were doing.

I don't know why you would assume that he should be the one who alters what he is doing just because it isn't what you would do.

Jizzomelette Tue 13-Sep-16 21:04:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineyReborn Tue 13-Sep-16 21:04:14

It is tricky. Some people find sitting down, especially on the ground, incredibly awkward because they have painful joints or ligaments and/or it's very hard for them to get up again.

DeathStare Tue 13-Sep-16 21:04:26

so if he's the one who makes the odd choice, I should have to fall in line with him?

But he didn't make an odd choice. He just didn't make the same choice as you. He was happy with you both making different choices. You were the one who wasn't.

LineyReborn Tue 13-Sep-16 21:05:38

Similarly it might be hard sitting in a camping chair for someone with painful knees.

INXS Tue 13-Sep-16 21:06:56

Death I was replying to Wings who said it was an odd choice.

Fair enough, I was being U. I had just fancied a sit down and a chat. It felt, at the very least, quite unsociable? As I said it made conversation impossible, and I sat down first [wrongly] assuming he would too, as he'd said it was fine. So to make the choice to stand felt a bit purposeful and, like I said, antisocial.

The jury has spoken though!

Skittlesss Tue 13-Sep-16 21:08:14

Maybe he was more comfortable standing up. I sometimes am and struggle to sit on the floor due to arthritis. I also struggle in some chairs due to this as well, so would have probably refused your offer of the camp chair.

INXS Tue 13-Sep-16 21:08:44

Liney the thing is that I know his knees are fine, he's in great health, and can even sit cross-legged! (Which I haven't been able to do since I was about 16)

It's fine - IWBU.

Bit surprised that no one else would find it at least a bit awk, though, if I'm honest

mineofuselessinformation Tue 13-Sep-16 21:08:45

Liney's right. I'm arthritic and sometimes just sitting down on a chair is very hard on my knees.
Next time, take a chair for him. That way, even if you're on the floor, you'll be more on a level and able to chat.

gamerchick Tue 13-Sep-16 21:10:05

next time just take the chair. Always handy those camping chairs.

eightbluebirds Tue 13-Sep-16 21:10:44

Of course it wasn't rude. You wanted to sit. He wanted to stand. If you wanted to chat you should have stood with him.

LineyReborn Tue 13-Sep-16 21:12:20

Well there's a reason for it. Pain can come and go.

INXS Tue 13-Sep-16 21:12:51

that's a good idea mineofuselessinformation

eight but I run around after a 3 year old boy all day, I have to take my sitting opportunities when they arise! grin

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