Sorry for the long post, and this is probably going to seem really petty to some of you, but I am so wound up about it!
DH is usually pretty good with pulling his weight. And by that I mean doing his fair share of parenting when he's here, helping out around the house without having to be asked etc - like I would expect from any normal, sane human being in an adult relationship 
But the past few weeks, it seems like he's forgotten how to adult, or has just decided he's not going to be an adult anymore. it's genuinely like being married to an extra child at the moment. Some examples of what I mean:
- Laundry. Washed, dried, folded into a basket. All I ask is that he put his things away himself. The same baskets have been sat in our bedroom untouched for a week now, even though I've asked everyday that he put it away.
- Parenting. Or lack thereof. The other day, I went into the kitchen to cook dinner leaving Dd in the front room with DH. I said "you'll need to check her nappy in a few minutes", message was definitely received and understood by DH. I went back into front room half an hour later to say dinner was ready, and Dd is stood there with her vest wet around the waist area where her nappy had leaked. Clearly, nappy was not checked, let alone changed.
- Another issue I'm having, he has stopped making any concious effort to diffuse tantrums. He makes them worse. Dd gets progressively more upset until I go and fix the situation. He tells her off almost constantly. Seems like the poor kid breathes a certain way and he will tell her "don't do that" My theory is, she acts up when she's with DH on her own because she doesn't understand where the boundaries are....its just one massive boundary where she's not allowed to do anything. And then when she does cry, he does nothing. Unless she's crying for a blatantly obvious reason like she's hurt herself or something. If she's having a bit of a typical toddler meltdown about something, he literally does nothing. Which results in her getting more and more upset until I go and sort the problem for her.
AIBU to think that after having this child in his life for almost two years, he shouldn't have to be told when to change a nappy, or to comfort her when she cries? And his heavily pregnant, knackered wife (who has SPD too) shouldn't have to ask repeatedly for bloody obvious, simple jobs to be done, and when they don't get done, end up doing absolutely everything herself as well as everything else around the house??
Please tell me if I'm being petty and silly. I'm just really close to blowing my top about it.
we've just gone back to him playing his PS4 and me watching a documentary on the iPad not saying anything. 