Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

Year 8 obsession with phone

25 replies

Brighteyes27 · 13/09/2016 05:46

Our DS has just gone into year 8 and is totally obsessed with his phone & iPad to the inclusion of all else. I have a no devices at table rule and no devices in bedrooms rule when they go to bed (make him plug it in downstairs) and I ask him not to go on it at other times from time to time and he goes berserk he's like an addict. Recently almost every waking moment he's on it has almost disengaged from us and family life. I understand his friends are becoming more important in his life. I would rather he saw them more socially than this obsession. What drives me mad is if we ask him to say feed the dog he tries to do it with one hand and drops dog food or his water on floor as insists on his phone in other hand or if he goes upstairs to get dressed or to the toilet or anything the phone goes with him he forgets what he's doing looses all sense of time and perspective and everything takes double the time. Any suggestions. I can't turn data off as he has it all the time. All I can do is hide his devices or get him to come to some agreement the latter unlikely at the minute.

OP posts:

Report

e1y1 · 13/09/2016 05:56

Mobile device addiction is becoming a very real and recognised thing.

Steve Jobs actually BANNED his own children from the iPad and iPhone. He said children younger than 10 that are exposed to new technologies become dependent on them as they haven't know an existence without them.

Over 10, he limited his children to 30 minutes ipad and 2 hours iphone time daily.

e1y1 · 13/09/2016 05:58

Sorry, no suggestions as to what to do, haven't reached that age yet, but will depsair when it's here.

Brighteyes27 · 13/09/2016 06:10

Thanks really need to clamp down on it and blooming typical dad away for next three nights. He travels to school 20 odd miles away or I would take it off him completely I am so sick of him and his couldt give a xxxx attitude at the moment. He lost his school timetable on day 2 and his shin pads on day three of new term. We don't think he's made a proper effort or is bothered about either sowe made him pay for replacement shin pads ( really because of his attitude) and I threatened told him last night if he doesn't come home with a new planner or a photograph of someone's planner he can print off by 5pm tonight I will contact his head of year for an informal chat about his attitude at school as I imagine his school work and all else is also taking low priority. Although he's at a grammar so doubt they would tolerate that.

OP posts:

walruswhiskers · 13/09/2016 06:29

There's an app you can install which is controlled from a parents phone. It automatically locks the phone after a set time which you decide - so if the child uses all their time before tea, phone is inaccessible afterwards. The child can earn more time by eg being helpful, doing jobs etc but again, that's controlled by the adult. Would this help? I don't know what it is called tho, sorry.

wannabestressfree · 13/09/2016 06:37

It's a phase and it will pass. I teach and my youngest of three boys is the same age - he is also a 'sitter on the Loo with phone'.
You have my sympathies. To be fair all three gwap at their screens for varying amounts of time :)

Brighteyes27 · 13/09/2016 07:04

Yes walrus whiskers that would help. I have always been fairly strict with him and would only ever allow him a short lengths of time on his iPad before I took it off him and we did something else. But over the summer and this last week things have got worse if we try and talk to him about his day or anything now he goes mad saying he doesn't want to spend any time with us at all and doesn't want to talk to us he said the same on holiday this year at 12!!! I love my children to bits and accept they are growing up and will move away from us but I am finding this quite hurtful and worried where things are heading or is this normal at the age of 12. Some of his friends are from fragmented families or parents have remarried with younger kids or new boyfriends and they are given money for McDonald's instead of tea or Sunday lunch and buy something at the newsagents for breakfast etc. Or go uptown or to cinema so mum can entertain new boyfriend or play happy families with toddler to new boyfriend. Sadly think DS is wanting to be more like these kids who I feel sorry for as this is normal among his new friends. I find it quite sad.

OP posts:

JeSuisUnChocoholic · 13/09/2016 07:05

walruswhiskers Is there really an app like that on iOS? Apple would never allow an app to control access to their devices. It might exist on Android tho.

00100001 · 13/09/2016 07:07

Just take it away from him when jes at home?

walruswhiskers · 13/09/2016 07:12

Yup - friends are an all Apple family and they have it for their kids. We threaten ours with it periodically when they are starting to struggle with self regulation (ours are 13 and 11) but haven't had to install yet.

walruswhiskers · 13/09/2016 07:13

We do also periodically change the password on the iPad so they have to ask to have it unlocked. Harder with phones cos used away from home.

thekingfisher · 13/09/2016 07:16

Look at ourpact app for iOS as well as android - you can control the device timings and acceas and may be what you need to regain a bit of control

Summerholsdoingmyheadin · 13/09/2016 07:16

My son was addicted to his phone and tablet last year when he was in year 7. He was constantly playing games on them in an attempt to get to higher levels than his classmates.
In the bed we restricted him to one full charge per day in each device. A full charge on an iPhone doesn't last more than a few hours when playing games so if he wants charge for other things (texts etc) then he has to ration his use of the devices.
It worked a treat (after much tantrumming about the unfairness of the rule) and he now uses his devices more sensibly.

OutToGetYou · 13/09/2016 07:18

You can get a router where you can set access times for different devices, ours does that. I have dss devices go off at 10.30, he's 15, but it doesn't go off for us.

It might be a "phase" but it's a long one if so! Dss been like it since age 10 and I can't see it stopping into his late teens.

Summerholsdoingmyheadin · 13/09/2016 07:19

To add: when my son was at his worst he said he wasn't bothered about real life and much preferred the virtual world and that playing his games was the only thing that made him happy. He has snapped out of it now and is a bit more normal (if a year 8 boy can ever be considered normal).

Brighteyes27 · 13/09/2016 07:30

Thanks all I will get hubbie to look at those apps. Hubbie is tech savvy I am not. Unfortunately hubbie has chargers all over house as we have a few phones and devices as a family. It's various games for levels as well as Instagram direct messaging chats and snap chat.

OP posts:

Buggeritimgettingup · 13/09/2016 07:31

Id give him a warning that u ntil he can be responsible i will Turn the data off or just get him a basic mobile so he can still contact you.

Itsmine · 13/09/2016 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brighteyes27 · 13/09/2016 14:54

It's mine thanks I did that with various devices when he was younger but that's my plan tonight. Youngest has football training so if he doesn't comply his phone, iPad and family device will be going to football training.

OP posts:

BusyBeez99 · 13/09/2016 16:33

I've installed OurPact on my sons iPad. Works a treat.

maninawomansworld01 · 14/09/2016 00:43

Echoing what itsmine said, just take them off him .
If he plays up he looses them for longer. When he gets them back put rules in place, if he doesn't follow rules he looses them again.

He's in year 8, you are an adult. Take control fgs or heaven help you when he's 16 or 17!

maninawomansworld01 · 14/09/2016 00:44

Don't piss around with apps and negotiations - just lay down the rules and make him follow them.

RTKangaMummy · 14/09/2016 01:24

Buy a basic phone without Internet to give him if he kicks up a fuss and so put his SIM card in it on pay and go so he still can be contacted etc

Good idea about one charge per day

Take him off contract and so pay and go so you control how much he has credit

Get a small safe or lockable box to lock his things in so you can limit his time on them

Put all charger leads away so he just has one charge a day

Make the router restrict times available to him for wifi is my favourite option

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

1sttimedaddy83 · 14/09/2016 01:27

I use my devices a lot due to anxiety but that's in public could that be a cause? Or maybe he is been bullied on line? Or maybe he just like playing games and talking to his mates.

Tworingsandamicrowave · 14/09/2016 01:34

What Buggerit said.

MommaGee · 14/09/2016 01:40

Agree with the just rake it off him. He's a child and children need boundaries. Phone off him once he's home until after tea perjaps then off him for bed? Or whatever works with your timings. Also like 1 charge idea - tell hubby to tody up all the chargers etx into your room.
Is he old enough for instagram and snap chat??

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.