Happened to me twice yesterday. First time just after lunch in a restaurant. I have just settled down on the seat when I hear the parent and child outside the door.
'Is this one open?' Rattles the door of the cubicle next to me loudly. Clearly not.
'This one?' Rattles my door loudly. No it fucking isn't, leave me alone.
'Are you sure?' Rattles my door again. Fuck off, I've had two glasses of wine and need a wee. Look at the red sign on the lock.
DC continued kicking the cubicle door next to me. A very nervous trip to the toilet, I was terrified that the door would burst open (silly, I know).
Then a few hours later, we had 45 minutes to spare and sat outside a Costa in the sun. Lovely, so relaxing. I nipped into the toilet before we left. One of those unisex/ disabled toilets.
I hear one person come in and rattle the door (terrifying as it only locks by pulling the handle up so more precarious than the previous incident). They give up. Thirty seconds later they try again. Fuck off, I had a big lunch and I've only been in here a minute (they must've almost followed me through the door to the toilet!). Then someone else comes in and I hear the conversation.
'I think there's someone in there.'
'Oh really?'
'Yeah look.' Rattles my door to show that it won't open.
If they think it's going to make me hurry up they've got another think coming. If anything it just makes my arsehole seize up.
AIBU here? Bore off.
AIBU?
People who won't accept that the toilet door is locked.
ClaudiaWankleman · 12/09/2016 08:52
I was in a toilet in a bar one night and there was a woman standing waiting outside. She had arrived just after I'd gone into the cubicle and I was only having a pee, she can't have been waiting more than 30 seconds before she went round all of the doors knocking really harshly and saying "come on girls there are people waiting" 
I thought "dick" opened the door and it was indeed a local dickhead loudmouth. I said "was that you?" And she said no! 
she was the only one there.
I wonder whether you're my best mate OP. She has a real thing about this and for some reason it always happens to her not me.
She shouts 'just having a quick poo, you might want to come back later' now if someone does it.
This reply has been deleted
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I think I am especially sensitive to the prospect of a door opening because I remember once at the British museum as a child someone opened the door of the cubicle I was in and then didn't close it (!!!) and I had to waddle off the toilet to pull it closed. 
YANBU I get the rage if they do it more than once and shout at them
We were at Chester zoo recently. On the way out we visited the loo and there was a bit of a queue as all the doors were shut. Eventually someone pushed at a door and it opened because there was no-one in the cubicle. so we tried the other doors and they were all empty.
These loos didn't have indicators on the door to show whether they were in use.
I wonder how long we would have stood there if someone hadn't tried a door
A few years back, on our last day on holiday in Gran Canaria, we were lounging around the pool before we were due to be collected. As is obligatory, we were consuming the last few cans of beer and half a bottle of wine before we left. Husband went to the the "communal" loo next to the pool. It had a UPVC door with a frosted window on the top half - think back door kind of door. He was doing his thing, heard a kid knocking, knocking sore more, door handle rattling, then saw hands cupped over eyes trying to peer through the glass. Husband promptly shouted "Fuck off!" and the kid ran away screaming.
We have a frosted en suite door. I recreate the moment for him many times to my amusement!
He doesnt take kindly to being disturbed whilst he is on the throne.
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What really annoys me is when you're somewhere with a load of toilets, like a shopping centre/music event and everybody just stands in line at the door, blocking everyone and doesn't bother to check the ten empty ones round the other side/at the end of the the run.
Aggghhhh! 'It's a queue so let's just stand like muppets and join it'
The looks I get when I walk straight past them and into a loo
Glad I got that off me chest!
Same with fast food places 'let's just join is massive queue in the middle and ignore the available staff at either end' why????
But I'm the one whose had a wee and got my burger while everyone else I queuing in their lovely British way 
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