to not feel sexy with small breasts

(26 Posts)
happyandsingle Sun 11-Sep-16 15:13:45

I know my problem is very minor compared to most but just wanted to share how I feel.
To cut a long story short I had a boob job at 18 which took me from nothing (and I mean nothing) to a full b/c cup.
was happy until 10 years later I developed capsule constructure and had them replaced.
was happy for the next 7 years or so but then started to resent them.
They looked good,felt as natural as fake boobs can but I actually started to feel to big and desired small breasts again so after much thinking had them removed last year without replacement.
To be honest they look ok just a little sagging but then I am 37.
I am now a 34 b but they are pretty flat and lack the volume the implants gave me.
At first I was happy but I think that after having the implants for nearly 20 years I am missing them slightly and am getting boob envy with every bigger busted woman I see.
Some days I just feel like I made a big mistake and it cost me a lot for the implants.
I'm also nervous at showing my real breasts to a partner as I've only ever shown my fake breasts to men.
Should I just get over this. I feel stupid that I've put myself through all this for vanity and I wish I could still feel sexy with my naural small breacts.

Sn0tnose Sun 11-Sep-16 15:22:16

I think that there are very few people who are 100% happy with their body and who wouldn't change something, from their hair colour to their boobs/bum/nose etc, so don't feel bad about feeling the way you do.

I think that sexiness comes in all shapes and sizes. For every partner who likes big boobs, there will be another who thinks that small boobs are the best thing ever. Nothing beats a bit of confidence though.

happyandsingle Sun 11-Sep-16 15:29:03

your right I do need confidence. I wouldn't even let someone see me naked now but before I would of done.

ovenchips Sun 11-Sep-16 15:36:08

I think you should try and keep your focus on the good things about yourself and not worry about something so minor. I mean that in a kind way.

Life's far too precious to think like that about things that don't ultimately matter. Onwards and upwards!

msrisotto Sun 11-Sep-16 15:36:59

I get hair envy off women with full, thick, shiny usually brown hair. Not to trivialise your boob envy, but to reinforce the point that the grass is always greener. I have also found that changing my body has not changed my confidence. I have lost weight after wanting to for aaaages. I thought i'd be so much happier, feel sexier and more confident but I don't. I feel the same as before. Still self conscious and unsexy. I have big boobs and even feel that they are unsexy! We're weird creatures. Confidence and feeling sexy really are a state of mind. I mean, Drew Barrymore had a reduction to an A cup and it's not holding back her sex appeal.

crayfish Sun 11-Sep-16 15:48:31

I'm a 34b and they are a bit saggy as I'm late 30s too and had a baby. They are fine though and I never give them a moments thought. I think you are just comparing what you have now with the fake boobs, but what you have now is probably more 'normal' to a partner.

I have things I fixate on though and which make me feel less sexy, but I try not to focus on those things and focus on what does make me feel sexy. I think you should try that before you consider any further surgery and remember that any man is damn lucky to get to see your boobs and if he doesn't appreciate them, there are plenty who would.

MabelSideswipe Sun 11-Sep-16 15:54:29

I have big boobs and a small frame. I am a 32G. There a loads of clothes in can't wear because they loom weird or frumpy. I look chubbier than I am, especially side view. Most dresses don't fit. Shirts gape. Bras cost a fortune.

When I take my bra off my boobs warm my knees (slight exaggeration).

Its really not sexy and I have found men don't care.

Ginkypig Sun 11-Sep-16 15:58:29

If you think getting them done again would help I would never tell you not to. It's your body and your rights.

It sounds to me though that your issue actually has nothing to do with your breasts. It's just what your negative thought process has focused on.

You have had three operations and have never been fully happy with the result.

I know that I'm simplifying it too much (and it could be as simple as your not happy with your breasts) but what I'm trying to get across is body confidence is rarely actually about the body parts and is normally more about the stupid annoying brain thoughts.

I have a lot of things I'd like to change about my body.
Nose
One of my eyelids!
Weight
Hair
Boobs
Belly
Off the top of my head but I know it's to do with how I feel rather than there's somthing wrong with any of these parts.

happyandsingle Sun 11-Sep-16 16:04:36

I guess it's just that nearly all my adult life I've had fake boobs and to a certain extent they became part of me.
I would never put them back in again but still struggle to accept how they look now as fake boobs give you a false sense of reality about how breasts look.

Ginkypig Sun 11-Sep-16 16:11:41

Yes that makes a lot of sense.

There's lots of women who go through the same thing because of breast feeding or weight changes.

My boobs look good in a bra but without one they are not what you would describe as perky!
Ime it's about learning to love or even just to accept what you have inspite of the changes that life has inflicted on our bodies.

It's a hard lesson though isn't it!

Ginkypig Sun 11-Sep-16 16:14:16

I must say though being glib I don't think men really care that much they just care that they are getting the privilege of being allowed to be with and touch you grin

If you are ever with a guy who behaves in a way that makes you think what you have or who you are arnt good enough then that's about them and it's at that point you kick them out your life because well fuck them!

OreoCat Sun 11-Sep-16 17:47:25

Thing is, men like small boobs over big; sometimes they like big over small. Men like all different shapes and sizes same as us!

Plus, they like it when any woman is naked to be honest, I'm about a stone overweight and my DHs eyes still light up if I'm removing my top grin

joanne90 Sun 11-Sep-16 21:52:00

I'm the opposite, I have 36dd boobs and would love small boobs and to be slim, I'd feel much sexier, I feel fat with big boobs!
As for the man comment, I couldn't give two fucks what they find sexy !
There is more to life then tits though, you've put a lot of emphasis on them during your lifetime, maybe you should seek counseling rather than seek "perfection" as it seems you're teying to achieve?

Edenrose206 Sun 11-Sep-16 22:16:15

I know some of that pain, single. I come from a family of small-breasted women. My mum had a boob job at 40 (my dad still had an affair and left her for a younger model). My sister had a boob job at 23. I fought the surgeon's knife, determined to accept my minimal breasts. (My DH is a leg man, thankfully!) But I never really accepted my chest size until I had PFB. Who was a milk monster from day one! grin Suddenly, my breasts were nurturing this happy, healthy chunk of a little baby and keeping him alive! It was a revelation. I have come to appreciate my 32AA boobs. My son was EBF until 6mo, and still nurses happily greedily like a little toothy piranha at 2yrs. Your perceptions can change...flowers

Helbelle75 Sun 11-Sep-16 22:22:15

I've always been tiny, but never really minded. I do a lot of sport and dance, and it's so much easier and more comfortable with small boobs . I've never felt unsexy because of it.
I do, however, always feel fat. I'm a size 10/ 12 but look in the mirror and see huge.
No one is ever happy!

VestalVirgin Sun 11-Sep-16 22:52:02

I feel damn sexy with my small breasts. Can't tell you what size they are exactly, as I never bought a bra in my life, but they're about a handful each.

Also, they are a lot more practical than bigger ones would be. This is something to be considered if you want them altered. I like sleeping on my front. Don't think I could do that if I had bigger breasts.

BitchQueen90 Sun 11-Sep-16 23:12:46

I've only just now started to accept having small breasts. I had booked a boob job and chickened out of it about a month before I went ahead. I'm so glad I did.

I can understand it must be strange after having implants to suddenly have small breasts again. But honestly, there's so much more that makes you sexy than boob size. I'm a 32A. Not even a perky one either as I've breastfed. Not every man in the world is going to like my small boobs. But the ones that do are the only ones worth worrying about. There's so much more to me than than just my breast size (plus I've got a bloody nice bum so there's always a silver lining to every cloud) wink be happy in your skin OP. We all deserve that.

BonnieF Sun 11-Sep-16 23:37:17

Debbie Harry
Naomi Campbell
Kate Moss
Keira Knightley
Emma Watson
Kendall Jenner
Etc etc

Small boobs rule!

TowerRose Mon 12-Sep-16 08:05:51

I wish I had smaller breasts! I'm in my early 20's, I'm a 36D and they're already saggy blush

gamerwidow Mon 12-Sep-16 08:30:04

It's not boob size that makes you sexy it's confidence . None of us are perfect I am a stone over weight and a 32G. I'd swap my big boobs for a flat stomach any day but I am what I am and I don't worry about what I don't have.

LellyMcKelly Mon 12-Sep-16 08:42:51

I have 34G boobs and hate them. I would love smaller boobs. Clothes fit better, it's easier to exercise, you can see your feet, etc. etc. No matter what I wear I look like an extra from a Carry On film. People think it's acceptable to make comments about them, and when I was younger I'd regularly get creeps walking up to me in the street and grabbing them. My DP loves me and couldn't care less about the size of them. The grass really is always greener. We all want what we don't have.

UntilTheCowsComeHome Mon 12-Sep-16 08:44:16

I have good 'page 3' boobs. 34E and still perky at 36.

But I don't think they're sexy because the areola around my nipples is so big my boobs look bloody comical.

But we're all different and that's what makes us beautiful!

^you can put that on a fridge magnet if you like smile

SorrelForbes Mon 12-Sep-16 08:57:26

OP Do you wear a bra? It might be worth you trying the MN Bra Guru advice and making sure you're in the right size. The right size bra (even in relatively small sizes like a 28D, 30E) can really make a huge difference to your shape and confidence.

IJustLostTheGame Mon 12-Sep-16 09:15:12

What mabelsideswipe said.

MatildaTheCat Mon 12-Sep-16 09:28:44

From many years of using open plan changing rooms at the gym I can tell you this: very, very few women over the age of 20odd look better undressed than dressed. Everyone has some flaws which go hand in hand with being alive. Fortunately clever underwear and dressing to ones strengths mean that pretty much anyone can look awesome if they wish to.

I do hear what you are saying but your breasts are just one part of you and possibly you have focussed on them too much for too long and need to accept and relax.

If any man were to comment about my breasts or any other portion of my body he'd be out the door before he got his kit back on.

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