To think the whole pregnancy thing could be altered?

(233 Posts)
DerekSprechenZeDick Sat 10-Sep-16 14:25:02

This whole pregnancy thing is shit ain't it? Let's be honest

They are made in a fun way (if you are lucky) but then 9 month of just shit.

I think pregnancy should be fun and have perks. Instead I'm stuck in bed due to pelvic pain, a baby who appears to be an athletic octopus and heartburn that makes me want to rip my chest out.

I would like to grow my baby attached to me but be able to unattach should I fancy a piece of shark or a rum.

So I could unstrap the bump, strap it to the dad and I could have a break. The bump would be more like a side car maybe grin

What would you change about pregnancy?

abigwideworld Sat 10-Sep-16 14:26:17

Everything

MollyRedskirts Sat 10-Sep-16 14:29:37

I think we should be able to freeze pregnancy, then pick it it up again at a later date. Obviously this wouldn't be very convenient during the later stages, unless you wanted to delay labour to get past an event, but it would be good to go 'I don't fancy being sick today, I need a break' and sticking the whole thing on pause.

Now I think about it, this sounds like something from a sci-fi I've watched.

butterfliesandzebras Sat 10-Sep-16 14:38:46

I second abigwideworld. Only twelve weeks, but pregnancy so far has been the worst experience of my life and I've yet to find anything positive in it.

DerekSprechenZeDick Sat 10-Sep-16 14:42:59

I think you need to invent a pregnancy pauser

CatAnnoyance Sat 10-Sep-16 14:45:46

I'm sure I read somewhere that pregnancy is supposed to be a magical time.

18 weeks and still waiting for the magic to kick in and the sickness to fuck off.

MagnumAddict Sat 10-Sep-16 14:46:01

Yabu for fancying a piece of shark grin

It really is shit. And to those people who just glow during pregnancy... Don't get me started.

Fuck, why am I trying to get pregnant again?!

WorraLiberty Sat 10-Sep-16 14:46:15

I'm quite shocked here because for some reason, I thought you were male OP blush

Now that would be quite some change, wouldn't it? grin

DerekSprechenZeDick Sat 10-Sep-16 14:46:58

I don't eat shark but I don't like the fact the option is taken from me.

I've only know about my pregnancy for like 8 week but I only have 4 week left. Day 2 of maternity and I'm bored!

LokisUnderpants Sat 10-Sep-16 14:48:05

YABU... I'd change it so anyone who wanted to get pregnant could. Your post makes me sad. sad

MagnumAddict Sat 10-Sep-16 14:52:30

lokis not being able to get pregnant when you want to is unbearable- I know. flowers

It doesn't lessen the fact that being sick and in pain sucks and pregnant people should be able to say that without judgment

Derek I remember you from your other thread. You now don't have my sympathy as you got to enjoy golden time during pregnancy by not realising you were pregnant therefore shortening your suffering wink

madamginger Sat 10-Sep-16 14:53:10

I absolutely loathed being pregnant. The sickness went on for months and then I got fat and heavy.
In contrast I loved being in labour because it meant I didn't have to be pregnant anymore.

SaggyNaggy Sat 10-Sep-16 14:56:06

I think if men had been the child bearers then all these things, and incredibly good painkillers, would have been invented a long time ago grin

CakeWouldBeNice Sat 10-Sep-16 14:56:44

What would you change about pregnancy?

I'd change it so that I could pregnant without fertility treatment. And I'd change it so that when I do manage to get pregnant, I don't then miscarry.

If I could change those two things I'd be happy to put up with anything else pregnancy could throw at me.

Afreshstartplease Sat 10-Sep-16 14:59:03

Derek grin

However angry I have known about this baby since about 4 weeks and therefore you are NOT permitted to be anywhere near as fed up as ME

Jenijena Sat 10-Sep-16 15:01:42

It's the baby extraction method which definitely requires some modifications.

roarfeckingroar Sat 10-Sep-16 15:03:24

I loved being pregnant. My cravings were avocado with marmite and I felt a bit sick but properly glowed (probably lack of alcohol) and barely put on weight aside my already 30DD chest almost doubling.

ghostyslovesheep Sat 10-Sep-16 15:03:29

I'd have a baby bag - with the baby in - that can be shared with others and left behind now and then - why DO they have to grow inside you

NerrSnerr Sat 10-Sep-16 15:03:45

I am pregnant with my second. About 8 weeks. I hate it. Having a baby was much easier than pregnancy for me. Of course I'm glad I'm having a baby but puking every 5 minutes (or so it feels like) is not fun.

SpringerS Sat 10-Sep-16 15:04:27

I think seahorses have it right. First the (8 hours of) mating makes the female develop the eggs. Once they are ready she passes them into the male's pouch and he gestates them. The female actually does twice the work but the final gestation is done by the males while mum is off doing her own thing.

There was a sci-fi show in the 90s that had a similar set up, Alien Nation. The main character, George, and his wife had a ceremony halfway through her pregnancy where the foetus passed over to him and he continued the pregnancy until it's end. They also got drunk from drinking sour milk but salt water was like deadly acid to them.

roarfeckingroar Sat 10-Sep-16 15:04:31

Sadly it didn't last until the giving birth bit. I hear that's dreadful.

MrsRaymondReddington Sat 10-Sep-16 15:05:10

I'm 27 weeks pg and I love it grin so far.... I reckon I may change my mind in a few weeks! I would definitely like a pregnancy pause button though as it's my first and I'm terrified! Oh and if make it OK to drink wine, and gin, and coffee.....and to eat all cheese!

Celticlassie Sat 10-Sep-16 15:05:26

I'd change it so you'd know that things were ok, and wouldn't have to wait for scans to know that everything was progressing as it should.

Nuttypops Sat 10-Sep-16 15:05:26

During my first pregnancy, one of my young Y1 pupils on eventually realising why I was the size of a house, asked innocently, "do you take it off at night and put it to bed?" I also received cards from other older pupils wishing me well on my "retirety" leave. Both of these are ideas I love far more than the reality of pregnancy, those bright children had some pretty good ideas!

There is so much I would love to change about it, but mainly to be able to share pregnancy and breastfeeding. Why the heck is morning sickness, this crazy excessive tiredness and labour. Seriously, it is amazing how they grow and are delivered, but there must be a better way by now? Alternatively, I would really just like a Dad's experience of pregnancy personally!

bananafish81 Sat 10-Sep-16 15:06:05

Major design flaw that our belly buttons don't light up to let us know we're pregnant.

Currently in the madness of IVF post embryo transfer and going mental symptom spotting already. If my belly button could go 'ping' like the microwave to tell me if it's implanted or not, that would be a major win

And if I am lucky enough to get pregnant this time, after a missed miscarriage @ 10w in March (from IVF #2), I will spend every waking minute wondering 'has the baby died again?'

So light up belly button and a peep hole would be bloody marvellous

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