First things first, I'm in a same-sex female relationship just incase the excessive use of female pronouns confuse people! Also, sorry for the long post - it's a bit of a rant!
My partner (DG) and I have recently had an offer accepted on a house and are planning on moving in around the beginning of November. I'm currently living with my parents while DG is renting a place half hour away. DG's family live 4 hours away and DG had told me that whether we had acquired a house by Christmas or not that she would be spending Christmas in our county and not going to stay with her family. Therefore, I'd made plans for us both to spend Christmas with my parents (as they live local). DG was happy with and had agreed to all of this. As it turns out, we have managed to buy a house (in the same county) and will be moving in before Christmas. We will be waiting until the January sales to buy things like spare beds, a dining table, decent sofas, fully working oven etc. and so I had told my parents that we would still like to come to them for Christmas dinner due to the disarray that our own house is likely to be in. My parents agreed that this was completely fine (plus I am an only child and so it saves them eating alone).
However, today DG has told me that her sister has asked if she, her husband, 5 year old daughter & large dog can spend Christmas with us at our new home this year (she wasn't asked, she's inviting herself). Apparently DG's sister had asked their mother but she's working and her husband's family already have plans (so basically we are a 3rd resort!). DG told her sister that she would need to check with my parents as we were planning on having Christmas dinner at theirs. Why does DG think it would just be fine for my parents to host another 3 guests (when we are only 4 people to begin with) and a dog? I'm sure my parents wouldn't say no, but I know it would be added pressure; they only have a 6 seater table and me nor my parents are 'animal' people (we have never had pets) and I can't see them being happy with having a dog in their home. DG has suggested that we host the dinner in our new home instead. But I also don't want a dog in our home, especially since its new. I've also explained that its unlikely that we will have plentiful furniture by then but DG has said that her sister and family will be happy to sleep on airbeds. They are planning to come down on Christmas Eve (even though DG has work until 6pm and I'd therefore made plans to spend the daytime with family and friends rather than spend it alone) and then leave on Boxing Day.
Am I being unreasonable by not wanting her sister and her troop to come? Why doesn't her sister realise that she would be intruding on our 1st Christmas together? Plus we will have only moved in a few weeks before! I was looking forward to waking up in our new home and having a quiet dinner with my parents. Also, what kind of parents are happy to get their 5 year old to travel for 3 hours on Christmas Eve, sleep on an airbed on the floor, and wake up in an unfamiliar house (that will probably not have a Christmas tree and decorations due to budget!) on Christmas Day to open her presents? Plus it would mean DG's sister packing all their daughters presents into the car, and then after opening them, repacking them all on Christmas Night ready to leave the next morning?!
I don't want to offend DG's sister, but I also don't think we should be changing our plans just because she's invited herself, especially when we were her 3rd choice!
Any advice would help. I've been stressed enough lately with the whole house buying process, working out our financials etc and this is just adding on top of me. I've asked DG if we can promise them next Chrismtas instead (since we at least would have been living there for more than a few weeks by then!) but DG doesn't seem stressed at all, she says she can't tell her sister no, and keeps saying "it'll all be fine, we'll work something out." I want to SCREAM hahaha. Again, sorry for the long post!
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Partner's sister and her troop have invited themselves to our 1st Christmas!
59 replies
MJ05 · 09/09/2016 16:34
OP posts:
HughLauriesStubble ·
09/09/2016 16:51
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Arfarfanarf ·
09/09/2016 17:09
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