to ask how you deal with parents who only talk about themselves/their children?

(13 Posts)
WillyW8nker Fri 09-Sep-16 13:32:42

Just been asked a favour by someone who has never once asked about me or my child and the only times we have spoken they spoke non-stop about their own child. They asked for a favour and couldn't even get my child's name right (the wrong sex name and spelt very differently to my child's name). This person was then rude to me when I said I was sorry but couldn't help with the favour.

How do people deal with such odd/self absorbed behaviour?

Fanjolena Fri 09-Sep-16 13:34:27

You tell them to fuck off. Then forget about them, they are users and not worth worrying about.

SpaceDinosaur Fri 09-Sep-16 13:47:04

IME (she says talking about herself!) people like this were like this before having children. They're just arses

I'm sorry, I can't help you look after little Snowflake.

Or, DFOD.

Whichever floats your boat!

SaucyJack Fri 09-Sep-16 13:48:44

Friend them on FB, and then post passive-aggressive memes about only liking your own children.

neolara Fri 09-Sep-16 13:49:54

Avoid them as much as possible.

Pineapplemilkshake Fri 09-Sep-16 13:52:02

I avoid them.

Oblomov16 Fri 09-Sep-16 13:52:31

I have this. Was wondering what to do about it the other day.
Her ds is in the same year as my ds2. She is so nice and bubbly. Whenever there is s night out, organised on Facebook or whatever, I always include her.
But I've been fighting this for s long time. I'm not sure she's ever asked me a single thing about myself of my ds2. Her mum often does pickup. She's the same. Just talks st me. Even the husband is the same.

I've decided I'm not going to include her anymore.

But I don't know what to say when it's actually happening.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes Fri 09-Sep-16 13:52:55

Avoid or use it as a time to think what I need to add to my shopping list, basically switch off

MrsJayy Fri 09-Sep-16 13:57:23

People like this were probably that self absorbed before children so its not a suprise they think the world revolves around their children and are genuinely shocked and offended when people say no to them good for you. Bet she was muttering about you meh who cares. I generally just smile and nod when they go on and on

jimijack Fri 09-Sep-16 14:03:11

Avoid, my least favourite trait in a person.

Completely one way street, tedious and a waste of my time. Avoid.

WillyW8nker Fri 09-Sep-16 14:05:57

She said she now knew who her friends were and I wasn't a "friend" confused (I've never been her friend, we just have kids in the same class) and it was just all very odd and very passive aggressive like speaking to a teenager. I had something terrible happen to me in April and I didn't even get a 2 lined email from her to ask how I was (as I did from some of the other parents even though they didn't know me).

Arseface Fri 09-Sep-16 14:17:34

In defence of only talking about herself, I know some lovely but socially anxious people who do this.
Sometimes if your're quite shy it's a choice between opening your mouth and gabbling on about yourself or going bright red and clamming up completely. It's a really common coping mechanism.
The rest of her behaviour is indefensible though!
Hope you are feeling better about the awful April thing.

KERALA1 Fri 09-Sep-16 14:29:49

Hmm not sure about the shy thing - a very generous interpretation!

Its a sign of lack of emotional/social intelligence. We were taught it as kids - my mother always banging on about think how you come across, ask the other person about themselves etc. Valuable - am doing the same with my kids. Its forgiveable in teenagers and younger adults but otherwise not.

We had an over 60 ish professional woman stay with us for 3 weeks. After week one DH and I both wanted to kill her. We would politely ask her about her day, she would tell us - in detail. Never once, not once in the whole 3 week stay did she ask us anything about what we were doing or our (at the time very little) dds.

My parents also know a couple like this they are both like it. Talk about their adult daughter. All. The. Time. All the other couples in their group have numerous adult children of their own doing all sorts of things, but no, they are never discussed or asked about. The whole group have to talk about this one DD. People have stopped asking them to things.

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