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AIBU?

Speaking as a man....

266 replies

LumpyMcBentface · 09/09/2016 09:47

'Man here'

'Male opinion'

Please just stop it. Unless your post has something to do with your genitals (in which case probably don't post it) it has no relevance to what you are about to say.

We won't all stop, draw breath, and think 'finally! A man's opinion. We can all stop debating now'.

It just makes you look like a pompous mansplaining tosser.

OP posts:
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acasualobserver · 09/09/2016 09:49

I have seen this complained about before but never actually encountered it myself.

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BombadierFritz · 09/09/2016 09:50

relevant in topics about male genitals though :)

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Birdsgottafly · 09/09/2016 09:52

I've seen it across lots of threads and I agree, but we are products of our social conditioning and I think it generally proves a point about that.

Thankfully there's very few "I've just asked DH!! (Wtf) like there used to be.

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GiddyGiddyGoat · 09/09/2016 09:53

Speaking as a man? Well, if you feel you must....

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Queenbean · 09/09/2016 09:54

I've also seen "Mum of three boys here" or something else that they think is relevant to their input

Should they stop doing this too?

(Yes is the answer. Along with "OP here". Yes, we know, your posts are in a different colour)

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honeylulu · 09/09/2016 09:55

I'm not sure what's wrong with it particularly if the male - ness is relevant to the situation.
I sometimes comment on the legal aspect of threads and say "solicitor here".
Or in a thread about say an 11 year old I'll mention that I also have an 11 year old to put the relevance of my comment in context.

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NonStopNeuroticCabaret · 09/09/2016 09:56

Usually followed by "women cheat too you know" or "there's loads of mental witches on dating sites too you know"

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VioletBam · 09/09/2016 09:57

It's irrelevant. I sometimes post on a very male orientated forum and never point out that I am a woman.

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irelephant · 09/09/2016 09:58

I don't mind it, it means I know what posts to ignore.

Lighthearted ish

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StrawberryQuik · 09/09/2016 10:03

I think it's fine if it's relevant...doesn't have to be about genitals! The OP could be looking for a nice jumper for her dad or something.

Same with 'solicitor here' 'also have 12 year old' etc.

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Rachcakes · 09/09/2016 10:03

Speaking as a woman, I find this very irritating.

OK, there are times when gender, or whatever is relevant. If it's a post about gender difference or conditioning or whatever.

My most recent post is about bringing my new kitten home. So 'speaking as a vet' or whatever, fine. It qualifies their opinion.
But 'speaking as a man, I think....'
Irrelevant.

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peaceloveandbiscuits · 09/09/2016 10:05

I haven't seen any "is anyone's hubby an electrician" type posts lately, thank fuck.

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tibbawyrots · 09/09/2016 10:07

I asked my DH and he said...

Nuff said then. Man has spoken. Hmm

(Just to add that I've seen that posted, it's not something that I would say)

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WorraLiberty · 09/09/2016 10:09

Sometimes it's relevant though and sometimes it isn't.

If you're on a thread where you feel it isn't, why not challenge the particular poster there and then?

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Obviouspretzel · 09/09/2016 10:16

Sometimes it's not irrelevant at all though. Although sometimes they're being a cock.

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StrattersHasACunningPlan · 09/09/2016 10:20

My gut reaction is "Oh please don't".

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 09/09/2016 10:21

Most of the time it is relevant though Confused. It is almost always on a thread about why men do

'AIBU to think my husband shouldn't spit in the sink every morning?'

  • 'man here, I do it because I'm a disgusting pig' (or whatever)


I assume that everyone on here is female unless they specifically say they aren't (or I recognise the poster's name). Isn't it the same as someone asking a question about, e.g. cooking Greek food and someone comes on to say they are Greek and this is how they do it?
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MrsHathaway · 09/09/2016 10:21

Thankfully there's very few "I've just asked DH!! (Wtf) like there used to be.

Where they do appear they tend to be "I've just asked DH who is a plumber/dermatologist/" and "DH" could be substituted for "DSis" or "next door neighbour" and the genitals are irrelevant.

That said, if it's a very female thread (I dunno, about menopause or something) then it is relevant to mark your contribution so it's clear you have no personal experience. Like when people say "I don't have any DC but I think ..." Obviously everyone has a right to their say but in some cases experience really matters.

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MaudlinNamechange · 09/09/2016 10:21

What's annoying about it is it's usually on a thread about something to do with relationships, and what follows is a load of drivel about how put upon men in general are, and you know men think that already, but the reason why the OP has come to mn is to get some empathy from women who know how hard women work and how much society in general takes the piss out of them. I feel like there is a real asymmetry in knowledge between men and women; women know quite a lot about men and their lives and stresses and workloads, but men know very little about women and their lives and stresses and workloads. So "speaking as a man" is equivalent to saying "speaking as someone who knows less about this than anyone here, but has decided to pipe up anyway"

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MrsHathaway · 09/09/2016 10:22

So "speaking as a man" is equivalent to saying "speaking as someone who knows less about this than anyone here, but has decided to pipe up anyway"

Which is pretty much the definition of mansplaining!

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ZippyNeedsFeeding · 09/09/2016 10:24

I've said "I've asked MrZippy and he said..." before, but only when an opinion was needed about something he is very knowledgeable about. I don't think I've done it here though. It also helps me to avoid getting into a conversation about stuff I don't care about (happened once when someone asked for advice about concrete, which is MrZ's obsession, but bored me to tears).

I wouldn't do it for anything else, partly because MrZ has an annoying habit of asking me what he thinks about things! Honestly, he asked me how he should vote at the last election.

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LaContessaDiPlump · 09/09/2016 10:25

Speaking as a woman Wink I think it often is relevant, actually. The gulf of social conditioning between men and women seems to be so vast in places that it is helpful to hear the occasional voice from the other side, as it were; especially if they are just putting in their tuppen'worth. If they're all 'A MAN IS HERE WITH HIS MANLY OPINION' then admittedly I am less interested in what they have to say Grin

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StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2016 10:25

I've not seen this but I do still see plenty of "I've just read out your op to dh and he said..." posts.
I am also seeing a rise in casual sexism, for example on the thread about the Pils visiting who have different routines and mealtimes, the op had said nothing about cooking or cleaning and yet there was a post that said it would mean the op cooking and cleaning up late. Presumably because she's the woman.

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VladmirsPoutine · 09/09/2016 10:25

This type of thread comes across quite condescending in tone. Not what you were intending but then take it up on the thread. And in instances in which someone has used "Just asked my DH" it's in the context of their profession or whatever, not just for the sake of contributing that day's male quota. Very odd thread indeed.

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Chikara · 09/09/2016 10:26

As others have said - if it is relevant then include it.
I do it myself when mentioning my age, location, motherhood status, nationality or career is relevant to my opinion.

Also posters are predominantly female so sometimes useful to point out.

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