Holiday issues - wwyd

[Mybrainishurtingme]

Not an aibu as much as a wwyd

Me and my mum are due to go on holiday on sat 17th booked and paid for months ago, a package holiday a week in the sun s/c just the two of us

She now has a funeral to attend on 19th. It's my uncle and I'm probably not going, he had been living abroad so we weren't that close, although I travelled to see him recently when he was in hospital.
I don't get on especially well with the family and feel i said what I needed to/he knew I was there when I went to the hospital. We knew he wasn't getting better even though he became ill quickly, was told he had about 6 weeks left and dies a week later .

Mum is going to the funeral as its her brother.

It is too late to amend names or departure date on holiday (100% cost to amend these within 14days)

For info whilst he was seriously ill in hospital his mum and sister went on holiday, other sister flew to America and other brother never visited him once

I dont know what to do 'for the best' re our holiday. I've had a tough few months and really could do with a break

Options are

1. cancel holiday - mum can claim on insurance (as close family members funeral) but I can't (not close enough relation to me)
   She would get money back (less excess, not sure how much this is)
   I would lose all of mine
   
   
2. I go on holiday as planned - mum gets flight after funeral
   Mum gets shorter holiday for cost of extra flight (c75£)
   I get full holiday and lose nothing
   
   It seems either way one of us is going to lose out. Spoke to travel Co and they won't make any exception re the fees
   
   I don't know what to do for the best. If we still go and mum joins me later I feel bad she gets a shorter holiday and has to pay for another flight when she could reclaim the holiday cost and go another time
   
   But if we cancel and she gets her money back then I will lose all of mine
   
   As we can amend booking I can't even take a friend /hubby away instead
   
   Hol cost was £400pp if that helps (had already paid to bring it forward a week after mum was invited to a wedding)
   
   WWYD? I can't even think straight

[iwantavuvezela]

I think option 2 could work.

Sorry for your loss, I hope you get to take your holiday and your mum can join you.

[FetchezLaVache]

Option 2 makes the most sense - although she loses, it's a lot less than you would lose, and you'd both get a holiday.

Could you offer to split the cost of the flight with your mum?

[Rumpelstiltskin143]

Option 2.

[CremeEggThief]

Option 2 is definitely the best.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Has she spoken to the insurance company. If it would cost them less to cover a later flight then they may be willing to cover rescheduling her flight. They'll be keen to pay out less..

[CodyKing]

Can you share the cost of the flight or pay for it! So Mkm misses 2 days but not financially?

Live the idea of a coup of days in the sun by the pool alone!

[ecuse]

Option 2 - your mum won't mind surely, she won't want you to lose the money?

[Mybrainishurtingme]

Thanks all

I can't afford to split the cost with my mum, money's really tight at mo which is one of many reasons why I neeeeeed a break

Thank you for the idea of suggesting the rescheduling to her insurers - I hadn't thought of that - I know of I was covered on my policy there is no excess for rescheduling and as you say that will save them from paying more out

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Sounds like both of you could do with a holiday

[JacquettaWoodville]

Option 2.

If you feel bad about the flight cost, maybe offer to pay half over a few months.

[Mouikey]

Check your insurance - your mum can claim as it is her brother, but surely you could claim as she (your holiday companion) can no longer go... It would not be the same holiday if you went alone. Call insurance rather than holiday company who you booked through and check your policy

[NewIdeasToday]

Before you decide your mum needs to check the position with her insurance company. As your uncle was ill it's possible she won't be covered (eg insurance covers you for unforeseen events not ones that sadly could be predicted).

[DeathStare]

There is also option 3 - your mum cancels and claims on the insurance and you go alone.

I'd go for option 2. £75 isn't much in the scheme of things - certainly less than you would lose if you cancelled. And a shorter holiday is better than no holiday.

If your mum doesn't want to do option 2, I'd take option 3 and go on your own

[Chottie]

Option 2.

[AnaG1ypta]

Is your insurance together? You might be able to claim. But I'd go with shorter holiday for mum.

[Pineapplemilkshake]

Option 2

Obviously nobody should lose out, but as he's not a close family member to you and you stand to lose the whole cost, you should get to have your holiday.

I had a situation almost identical except it was just me, DP and DC going on the holiday which overlapped with my uncles funeral. My mum insisted that we didn't miss our holiday, reminding me life was for the living and that DC shouldn't have to miss out, as he'd never met my uncle. I know my uncle wouldn't have wanted anyone to miss a holiday under the circumstances as he was an avid traveller himself etc, it didn't stop me feeling a little guilty though.

[diddl]

I'd go for 2 also.

Hopefully your mum will be able to enjoy herself.

[ohtheholidays]

I'm sorry for your loss OP.

Go for option 2,if you were my Daughter I wouldn't want you to miss out.

[Blu]

If she cancels and reclaims all, she couldn't go at another time with you because if money is too tight to split the £75 with her it is too tight for you to pay for another week!

You go.

I am sensing that you think it could be an option that she doesn't attend the funeral as you go into detail about the lack of attention from your aunt and uncles? Or is that explaining why you don't feel you need to cancel and attend yourself?

You go, relax and chill out until your Mum arrives.

There is no need for you to even think of contributing to her £75.

Enjoy your holiday.

[PersianPia]

Are you absolutely sure you aren't covered? We are going on holiday tomorrow but at the time we booked it my Grandad had terminal cancer and we didn't know how long he would last. We checked with the travel company before we booked and they said we would both (me and my mum) be covered if his death or funeral coincided with our holiday dates.

[SingaSong12]

What does your mum want to do? Will she enjoy the holiday or would she prefer not to travel so close to the time? If she's happy to travel then option 2. If she's not then possibly option 1, or option 3 you go on your own.

[ScarlettO89]

If you can't afford to offer your mum £35 to split the cost of the flight, how the hell are you financing eating on this week long self catering break? I'd be inclined to say if money is that tight you shouldn't be going away at all!

[blueskyinmarch]

Option 2. You get a few days to chill by yourself then your mum joins you. If she can afford the £75 then it should work out fine.

[cexuwaleozbu]

I think you should go and have mum join you straight after the funeral.