...to wish DH would keep his morning wood to himself?!

(39 Posts)
Niggit Thu 08-Sep-16 16:27:22

Mainly at weekends when I don't have to get up early. I'll stumble to the loo for an early pee, still half asleep and looking forward to snuggling back down again for another hour or two, but as soon as I'm back in bed, there he is, wriggling against my back and prodding me in the kidneys.

I swear, one of these mornings I'm going to snap it off and attack him with the soggy end.

UmbongoUnchained Thu 08-Sep-16 16:29:19

Yabu! Morning sex is the best grin

hellsbellsmelons Thu 08-Sep-16 16:30:28

Sorry but I'm with Umbongo
Love love love early morning sex.
We are at our most sensitive!

ImNotJoeMyNameIsHarry Thu 08-Sep-16 16:30:49

I get this as well, I snuggle up a bit higher so it's resting beneath your bump area then in your back so you're sat on it in a way?

ImNotJoeMyNameIsHarry Thu 08-Sep-16 16:31:46

That came out wrong. my dp gets this NOT ME!

ElleBellyBeeblebrox Thu 08-Sep-16 16:32:01

I'm with you OP, I never sleep well and always wake up exhausted, so being poked in the back under the pretext of a cuddle irritates me.

Niggit Thu 08-Sep-16 16:34:14

Nonononono. I barely do mornings, let alone morning sex. All that waking up and moving about...

ayeokthen Thu 08-Sep-16 16:35:01

I like it, it's a lovely way to start the day. But if you don't, then tell him. Either that or when you get up for a pee stick him in the kidneys with a mop handle constantly and then ask how he likes it!

Hellothereitsme Thu 08-Sep-16 16:37:45

Tell him you don't like it.

ShowOfHands Thu 08-Sep-16 16:38:29

Morning sex = infections in this house. Irrelevant though. Unwanted sexual contact is galling regardless of the time. What does he say when you explain?

roseteapot101 Thu 08-Sep-16 16:46:33

if your really not in the mood and annoyed why dont you fart.Thats a real wood killer.

Personally weekend lie ins are a good time as in the evening you feel so tired after a long day.Just have some fun he jabs you in the back jab him back in the sides or pinch him

TheNaze73 Thu 08-Sep-16 16:50:05

Is it the involuntary wood you're thinking is unreasonable or his motives for grinding into you?

mummytofourbabies Thu 08-Sep-16 16:51:37

Roseteapot that really made me giggle gringrin

YourNewspaperIsShit Thu 08-Sep-16 16:51:53

I ignore it until he does that exasperated sigh grin

ThePortlyPinUp Thu 08-Sep-16 16:55:22

I'd love it but DH has medication for a heart condition, depression and anxiety and doesn't seem to wake up with wood.

RichardBucket Thu 08-Sep-16 17:51:08

I hope this is "lighthearted" (I know, forbidden word on MN!), in which case I'll go away so I'm not being a killjoy. grin

I was in a relationship with a man who pressured me for sex a lot, and him pushing his erection into my back wasn't at all funny. It made me feel awful, so much that I couldn't relax in my own bed for fear of it starting.

ClopySow Thu 08-Sep-16 17:58:26

Morning snoozy spoon fucks are the best.

Niggit Thu 08-Sep-16 18:12:23

Ok, mea culpa - yes, this was supposed to be mainly lighthearted. Apologies for any offence caused.

SpookyPotato Thu 08-Sep-16 19:23:47

DP has never had this! Never had morning sex either, he's all sweaty and we both have rank morning breath grin Keep telling him you don't enjoy it, sleep is precious..

Vintagegirl1 Thu 08-Sep-16 19:30:12

I'm with theportlypinup (waves!) - I would have loved it as morning sex is the best but ex dh has health issues that means he doesn't get a woody in the am anymore.

LongIslandForgottenTea Thu 08-Sep-16 19:35:51

Urgh!!! This would bring out full on rage when ex partenr did this, which was 5 times a night what's worse is when he would get up, go to the bathroom and came back with wood and still sporting morning breath that could take out a village.

New partner knows the rules, no morning sex unless I instigate it.

acasualobserver Thu 08-Sep-16 19:55:53

I place a pillow between my arse and his stiffy - spooning can continue without prodding.

Strokethefurrywall Thu 08-Sep-16 20:23:26

I used to love morning sex before I had kids. Now generally we have a 5 year old wedged between us (he doesn't start out there, just comes wandering in at some point between 2-5am!) and on the rare occasion that he's not there, I get uncontrollably angry at being woken up when I don't have to be woken.

Whilst generally I get enough sleep, I really don't remember the last time I was able to wake up naturally and of my own volition without a child, dog, alarm or DH waking me up.

Having said all this, I think I may try and revert back to morning sex instead of evening sex, I have far more energy in the mornings!

SandyY2K Thu 08-Sep-16 20:28:46

swear, one of these mornings I'm going to snap it off and attack him with the soggy end.

Well that's one way to solve the problem.grin

LightTheLampNotTheRat Thu 08-Sep-16 20:42:30

I wish I could see the appeal of morning sex. But - morning breath? Just no. Isn't that an issue for other people?

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