WIBU to buy DD leggings to wear to school?

[HuckleberryGin]

DD is 4, only just her birthday was 3 weeks ago. She started in reception this week. She has not been keen, very anxious, lots of tears, wants to go back into nursery.

As well as this crying, the last two mornings have been screaming meltdowns over uniform. She hates uniform. She refused to wear any uniform in preschool (attached to same school) so not a new issue. She is funny about clothes and will only wear leggings and a select few t-shirts. She even had a phase of refusing to wear short sleeve tops, even in the heat wave!

On the one hand I am inclined to buy her some uniform colour leggings (navy) and let her wear them, as she is so little and has so much already to contend with.

On the other hand should I be battling to enforce the uniform? I have tried getting soft trousers, but she refuses them too (although on being put in the car in her knickers this morning she agreed to wear them.

We have done the "take her in her pants" many, many times before and it doesn't make a difference. She will eventually get dressed at school, but it doesn't stop her screaming refusal in the morning.

[redskytonight]

DD's school doesn't allow children in leggings. So I would speak to the teacher first if this is your plan.
Personally I'd stop arguing with her - she either puts the uniform on in the morning or you take her to school in pants (again, check with teacher).

However ... is there a particular reason she doesn't want to wear uniform? Something sensory? Might she get on better with a pinafore (that's not really even touching her skin)?

[ageingrunner]

Uniform is voluntary in primary schools anyway isn't it? So the school can't enforce it.

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

Poor little girl - yes in leggings unless there is some logical and unassailable reason why she's not allowed. She's only a baby and it's so much for them to have to deal with.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

Sounds sensory, I would be explaining to the school that dd will attend in leggings. She's so little it really cannot matter.

[NapQueen]

Fine at 4.

What if she is still refusing at 10/11/12?

[PuraVida]

Ask the school. Our school is very lax about uniform and lots of kids wear leggings

[PotteringAlong]

You need to talk to the school - you cannot just unilaterally decide to ignore their rules without speaking to them first. They might be completely happy with leggings, just check first.

[mouldycheesefan]

My dd wears leggings instead of tights, with skirt on top.
She has been doing this for 6 years ever since she started school. In summer she wears cycling shorts with skirt in top.

[situatedknowledge]

Talk to school first. DD2 wore leggings under her school dress for a good chunk on reception and gradually moved on to tights then socks. You do need to speak to school first though. This may be the battle with your DD that you do choose to have if school find it hard to be supportive. I'm sure they will be though.

[Lj8893]

It almost sounds like she's not ready for school yet, can she not start next year? There's a big difference in a just turned 4yo and a just about to turn 5yo!
As far as I'm aware as long as they start by the time they are 5 it's ok?! Am I right or wrong?

[honkinghaddock]

Would she wear a pinafore or skirt with leggings underneath?

[gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn]

Speak to the school and maybe your gp? If the has underlying sensory issues which are causing this then they may be able to help. If entirely down to preference/behaviour you need to decide where to draw the line and I'd be using school to do that.

[gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn]

Agree maybe worthwhile looking to defer... It is very young still

[LadyMoth]

My DD also wears leggings with a dress, instead of tights - we never asked school about it, we just did it. She hates the feeling of tights (among many other sensory things that set her off...)

IMO if you ask teachers about this kind of thing they are more likely to um and ah about it and fuss about whether it's uniform. just do it and they won't notice or care (unless it's very strict or a private school with its own uniform etc)

[CeeceeBloomingdale]

I would (and did) make her wear uniform. School rules are not IMO optional and I'd rather she started learning and having tantrums at 4 than 11. My DD is nearly 10 now, is still incredibily fussy about clothes but we have manage to find something that complies yet she will tolerate. It's challenging but I'd insist she wears her uniform.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Talk to the school. DD went through a period of being very difficult with uniform in yr1. The teacher set her up a sticker chart - 2 stickers a day and a "treat" from school of being allowed to do or chose something if she got 10 stickers in the week. Going to school with no fuss and getting to school on time. It helped. She missed some mornings because of her anxiety. Other days, I took her in non uniform clothes and the teacher got her to dress in uniform. She also was assigned to a counselling style ta. The issue for the school wasn't her not wearing uniform but that other children would notice her and single her out. I would ask if your DD can wear leggings or cycling shorts if not and get some support.

[CafeCremeEtCroissant]

I think you need to determine whether it's a genuine sensory issue or just a 4 year old preference.

[paxillin]

Asda have soft, stretchy jersey school trousers, get the slim cut ones, she can call them leggings, school will know they are trousers.

[RamblingFar]

Send her in the leggings with a summer dress, pinafore or skirt over the top.

Its a common look in a lot of the primary schools I supply teach at.

[MerryMarigold]

I don't think OP is asking for her daughter to attend in just anything, just that leggings in school colours and a polo shirt (?) would be ok.

I agree about working out the sensory thing or is it just a control thing? (My 7yo dd refuses summer dresses, which isn't sensory, but I don't mind as she will wear the normal uniform). Is she fussy about certain textures, dislikes socks, haircuts/ hairwashes - there's lots of other signs of sensory issues. If she is just being a pain, then I would give her some amount of control eg. she can go shopping and choose a pinafore or skirt or trousers. This is what I did with my dd when she was in YR (she had to have a pinafore with a heart on the zip which was a right pain but finally found it in Asda!!) and she was happy to wear what she had chosen.

[candlesnotlights]

Fussy dressers are so hard to deal with, so I feel your pain! My dd has a melt down if her leggings are not a cm above her ankle .

However, I think when it comes to uniform you can't get into negotiations. It's the rules.

When my dd was fussing over clothes, I would give a bag of clothes to my best friend and she would bring them round saying they were her daughters but now too small. My dd would jump at the chance if wearing clothes from an older friend!!

[whywonthedgehogssharethehedge]

I was going to say is it a sensory issue or a control issue. The response depends on which it is tbh. If it's sensory then work with the school and see if she can wear leggings or similar. If she's just being stubborn you need to ride it out and fight it BUT the suggestion of offering her a choice ie this school skirt or this school skirt may work.

Asda have soft, stretchy jersey school trousers, get the slim cut ones, she can call them leggings, school will know they are trousers

This is a good compromise ^

[1LittleOne1]

As other people have mentioned, is there not the option for her to join school the next time around as she will have only just have turned 5? I thought just turning 4 would be a little young (although Im sure some cope just fine enough)

[whywonthedgehogssharethehedge]

When my dd was fussing over clothes, I would give a bag of clothes to my best friend and she would bring them round saying they were her daughters but now too small. My dd would jump at the chance if wearing clothes from an older friend!!

You are some kind of amazing evil genius! This is a fantastic idea.

[HuckleberryGin]

She won't wear the soft stretchy style trousers either. She won't wear a dress over the top of the leggings. The dress is part of the issue, she hates the dresses.

Some of it I think is sensory, she hates having her arms or legs uncovered- hence the issue with short sleeves. Although I thought we were past that.

As other people have mentioned, is there not the option for her to join school the next time around as she will have only just have turned 5? I thought just turning 4 would be a little young (although Im sure some cope just fine enough) - She could, but she would have to go straight into year 1 and miss reception. There is no obligation on the school to allow her to join next year's reception class. I think it would be worse for her to miss reception and have to join the year group in year 1.

I will chat to teacher and perhaps GP about possible sensory issue.