self fulfilling prophecy.

[gillybeanz]

AIBU in this day and age to expect a new head to not say "You look like trouble".

Ok, the head wasn't to know that child has SN and very low self esteem and confidence, although in heads favour presents as the polar opposite. Child was in lots of trouble for petty things last year and is trying to shake the image.
Child was talking with parents and SENCO, but the SENCO wore many hats that day and was speaking to all parents. It was more social event than an official day iyswim.
I have a PgCE although don't teach so have very little experience, but I did do lots of theories of learning and this was an important lesson.
Just wondered what others thought.

[mummymummums]

Not v appropriate but was it a jokey type comment?

[QuiteLikely5]

Take things they way they are meant.

Not everyone on here will be aware of the theory you are speaking about. I am and not so sure that after one comment it would be effective enough to provoke the theory.

Child is trying to shake the image? I'd be surprised if a child had that level of insight tbh........

[gillybeanz]

Thank you, was a bit worried that's all.
Head is lovely, and I'm sure he'll do a great job and of course he can't be expected to know all the students profiles yet.

It just seemed a strange opening line, but completely fine.
Parents didn't hear as were talking to another couple close by.
The child pretended mortification like "what? Me" and they were all 3 laughing.
The child has got this insight, and may worry about it.

[HorridHenrietta2]

Sounds like a jokey, friendly comment which broke the ice and got them all laughing? So it's all good!!
Maybe you're over thinking a bit?

[gillybeanz]

sorry, I never thought people wouldn't know.

It's like giving a dog a bad name, it's hard to shake and they live up to it.

Child seems to have had a lot of people tell them this, always in a jokey way, and has even commented that if people think them so badly behaved they might as well be.

[Anasnake]

Sounds like a simple jokey 'here comes trouble' type comment.

[phillipp]

My Ds always gets told he looks like trouble. Because he does have a cheeky grin. He is actually very well behaved. He doesn't believe it's a green light to misbehave.

I think you should take it in the manner it was meant.

[harderandharder2breathe]

I'm sure it was jokey but it's unfortunate if a child takes it to heart, as children often struggle to tell when adults are serious or not

I try to keep my jokey comments to children that I know understand I'm joking. Certainly wouldn't greet a new child like that

[gillybeanz]

hard

This child certainly does, she has Aspergers and sometimes takes things to heart, especially if she is struggling.

It is my niece and Goddaughter, who has lots of similarities including Aspergers and ADHD/ as my dd, mine has ADD though.
I know how determined she is to do well this year.

I thought of the old adage? If in doubt, leave it out.
No harm done I don't think and the head did seem lovely. I just hope she doesn't use it to justify her behaviour if things go wrong during the year.

[mrschatty]

If it was a one off jokey comment then it cannot become self fulfilling prophecy, from my studies of that at uni it would be a continuous repeat of negative language "you are a bad boy" "you are a naughty girl" over and over which the child will think fuck it then if I'm a bad child I'll be the baddest child you ever seen"

It's not nice for the poor girl anyway like you said if it doubt leave it out. Positive reinforcement from family and friends

[gillybeanz]

I guess so. I suppose it is because she has used this before that I worried.
When really down last year she kept on saying that everyone says she's trouble all the time. In fairness, like a pp she has told me about this several times right from starting school.
She was only diagnosed last year and had been considered badly behaved until then.
I'm sure it will be ok but in neices case it could be the worst thing for him to say.