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AIBU?

My bed, my space?

30 replies

Andonitgoes · 05/09/2016 14:08

We live in a small place and guests tend to stay on a sofa bed in our living room. We used to have more space but then we had kids! In-laws are visiting soon and DH wants us to give them our bed and for us to sleep on the sofa bed. It's for less than a week so not long, but AIBU for not wanting them to sleep in my bed? I feel strange about someone else sleeping in my bed!

OP posts:
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Lilaclily · 05/09/2016 14:09

I'm with You! No one sleeps in my bed !

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MuseumOfCurry · 05/09/2016 14:11

Do they actually want to stay at your house?

I'd be very happy to spend money on a hotel under these circumstances. Maybe they would be too.

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hellsbellsmelons · 05/09/2016 15:48

If my mum and dad were staying I would no way, expect them to sleep on a sofa bed.
I always give up my bed for my mum and dad.
They always say not to but I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's a mattress. With a protector on it and sheet on top.
What on earth makes you feel strange about someone else sleeping there?

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RunningLulu · 05/09/2016 16:34

This ^^

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HeyNannyNanny · 05/09/2016 16:45

Interestingly, when I was single I would always give up my bed (clean sheets obviously)when my Mum visited.

However I'd feel a bit odd about her using the bed DP and I share.
It's a bit more personal now I guess Confused

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AppleAndBlackberry · 05/09/2016 16:47

I wouldn't mind, various in-laws have used my bed, but if you mind then that's your prerogative surely?

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SeaFlute · 05/09/2016 17:54

We give up ours, but I Dettol the wooden bits before and after, wash mattress protector etc, and have different bedding sets and different pillows for guests. I don't really like sharing our bed TBH. It's a nuisance cleaning it and changing all the linen, though I don't mind so much for longer visits.

We have a sofa bed but it's not very comfortable or private.

If you're not happy sharing yours I suggest putting your foot down now, or they'll expect your bedroom every time! They can always get a hotel of sofa bed not good enough!

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sykadelic · 05/09/2016 19:03

No you shouldn't because it sets a precedent. They are no different from any other guest so if you start doing it for them you'll start wondering if you should do it for X (because he has a bad back) or Y (because the light in the living room is too bring for him) or Z (because then the kids can sleep in with them too).

Nope. Wouldn't dream of wanting to sleep in someone else's bed nor having someone else in ours.

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ImYourMama · 05/09/2016 19:08

I wouldn't give up our bed, it's my sanctuary

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PepsiPenguin · 05/09/2016 19:09

It's not just the bed for me.

My bedroom is my sanctuary Smile also have an ensuite so all my bathroom crap is in there too. We do have a guest room with a bed, but I think even if we didn't I would put guests on a sofabed.

May feel differently if my mum was older and would be in pain or uncomfortable, but as she's in good health and up so bloody early anyway if I just had a living room with a sofabed it would actually be better for her as she could get up, make tea, watch telly etc rather than being stuck in my bedroom

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Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 05/09/2016 19:15

Parents really won't want to sleep in the bed you get jiggy in I am sure! Offer to find them a close- by B&B!!

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Blackberryandapplejam · 05/09/2016 19:20

You don't have a spare room therefore they can't stay with you. Simple. B and B is the solution.

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Ameliablue · 05/09/2016 19:38

I would not expect parents to sleep on a sofa bed.

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4yoniD · 05/09/2016 19:38

How many kids/ what kids beds? Could kick kids onto sofa bed/camp bed in lounge (tent in garden if adventurous?), ILs get the kids beds. Maybe not if you have bunkbeds though!

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somekindofmother · 05/09/2016 19:44

I don't let anyone sleep in our bed.
if it was just my bed id let my mum stay in it, but it's now my and DH bed and no one but us (and the occasional sneaky offspring) are allowed in it. I don't even let people in my bedroom! let alone my bed, with their gross other people germs Grin

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Motherwithflaws · 05/09/2016 19:49

Nobody else is allowed in my bed!

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Becky546 · 05/09/2016 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

m0therofdragons · 05/09/2016 19:51

I wouldn't give up my bed - they might find my vibrator in my bedside drawers!Blush

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Bubbinsmakesthree · 05/09/2016 19:58

What a miserable bunch! Shock. My parents and PIL get our bed when they stay now they are getting older and don't sleep well on our sofa bed. It was slightly weird the first time giving up your personal space but once we'd done it once it just seemed normal - no weirder than people using your bathroom!

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Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 05/09/2016 20:07

(I don't have sex in my bathroom!) Blush

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BigbyWolf · 05/09/2016 20:08

I don't even like other people staying over in our house. There isn't the remotest of remote chances I'd let anyone stay in our bed!

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PepsiPenguin · 05/09/2016 20:09

You may be missing out Wink

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PepsiPenguin · 05/09/2016 20:10

i don't have sex in my bathroom!)

You may be missing out Wink

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Andonitgoes · 05/09/2016 20:13

I should add the in-laws have other children who do give up their beds for them! Makes it more awks to say no.

OP posts:
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PepsiPenguin · 05/09/2016 20:15

Do you think they expect you to offer? Or is it just DH thinking you should?

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