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AIBU?

About DS's bedtime

36 replies

Boogers · 04/09/2016 21:17

DS is nearly 13. He goes back to school on Tuesday, his sister (7) tomorrow. She's tucked up in bed, lights off, all excited to meet her new teacher. I told DS that his gadgets had to be off at 9pm and he could read until 9.45pm, which he protested about at first but reluctantly agreed to. Then I added that I wanted his tablet and phone put on the table at the top of the stairs, mainly because if they're not physically out of his room he'll be on them all night, just hiding them under the duvet when I tuck him in later. He went ballistic at this, saying I'm over protective and that it was unreasonable to make him go to bed so early and that none of his friends went to bed at that time, blah, blah, blah.

Am I being unreasonable to insist on this bedtime routine? He wants to go with me to take DD to school in the morning so it will be like a normal school morning tomorrow anyway.

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gabsdot · 04/09/2016 21:19

No of course not. My 12 year old starts school tomorrow. He needs to get up at 7.30 so I sent him to be at 9.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 04/09/2016 21:20

9pm is early if he doesn't have school tomorrow. The parents with kids this age (and below) usually have 10pm then in their room after that they can read for a bit

Boogers · 04/09/2016 21:23

That was his argument too, but he's had a whole summer of late nights and late mornings and I'm trying to ease him into the routine again, plus he's got to be up at 7am if he wants to take DD to school with me.

I feel like a proper draconian parent sometimes.

OP posts:

AngelBlue12 · 04/09/2016 21:24

peppa what parents?

My 12 yr olds bedtime is 7:45
9 yr olds bedtime is 7:00
7 yr olds bedtime is 6:45
4 and 2 yr olds bedtime is 6:30

All devices are left downstairs over night.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 04/09/2016 21:28

12 year old with a 7.45 bed time!!

Haroldplaystheharmonica · 04/09/2016 21:30

Sorry, all parents of 12 year old son that I know have bedtime as 9pm on school nights except when there's a club on so two nights of 10pm here. Yes, in the holidays anything goes but even over these past 6 weeks, my 12 year old has had an early bedtime every so often. They need to catch up at some point!

Not sure about 7.45 for a 12 year old though Angel over the summer they're still playing out at that time.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 04/09/2016 21:30

I missed out the ones I know angel . This isn't on school days though. Not sure how I will get round it with DD at that age as I go to bed usually around 9 (we had guests for dinner so I'm up late today )

dementedpixie · 04/09/2016 21:34

Dd (12) has a 9.30pm bedtime on school nights but can read for 30 mins. Ds (9) is in bed for 9pm and can also read for 30mins

Spiderpigspiderpig · 04/09/2016 21:34

Completely agree with taking devices off them. I have to leave my phone in the kitchen otherwise I get tempted and I'm supposed to have adult willpower.
They sleep much better if they have no screen time for atleast half an hr before bed.
Can't comment on times as my eldest is 7 next week and goes to bed between 7:30 & 8 with his 3yr old sister.

insan1tyscartching · 04/09/2016 21:36

My 13 year old goes to bed at 10pm and can read for half an hour on school nights. No gadgets from 10pm. On no school nights she goes when she chooses and gadgets come out when I go to bed at about 11 to 11.30pm.
7.45 is a ridiculous bedtime for a twelve year old tbh that's more what I'd expect for a seven year old

Discobabe · 04/09/2016 21:37

my dd 12 goes at 9 apart from one night she has a club so more like 9.45. No devices allowed upstairs after bedtime.

HeCantBeSerious · 04/09/2016 21:38

My 7 year old doesn't go to bed anywhere near 7:45pm! Her natural bedtime would be about 10pm. During term time it's usually around 9pm.

Boogers · 04/09/2016 21:38

Thank you for your responses. I'm glad to know I'm not being completely unreasonable with this.

Another thing DS hasn't considered is that next week he'll be going to a football match with his dad with a 7.45pm kick off, meaning he'll be back home around 10ish, which is ok as a once in a while thing but if I was being really over protective, as he says I am, I'd say no to that!

OP posts:

Soubriquet · 04/09/2016 21:40

Between 9 and 10pm sounds like a good time for a 12 year old

7.45 is mad!!

Mojito6 · 04/09/2016 21:41

I never had a 10pm bedtime it was always 9pm to bed read for a bit then sleep by 930-10 never going to bed as late as 10 as a teenager

AngelBlue12 · 04/09/2016 21:44

Why is it mad if she's asleep by 8:00?

I go to bed at 10:00 and I know that my kids need more sleep than me :)

Soubriquet · 04/09/2016 21:47

If that's what works I suppose.

I just never thought a 12 year old would be happy to be in bed by 8

kurlique · 04/09/2016 21:50

7.45 for a 12yo? Blimey! We must not need as much sleep as other people... Even when my kids were babies bedtime started with a 7!
I would love to say that my DD 13 was always in bed by 10 but at least her tech all turns off then.😁

TealGiraffe · 04/09/2016 21:51

I think its fair enough to have an earlier night tonight, get him back into a school routine. If he's had a lot of late nights it will feel early to him though!

I can't believe there are 12 year olds that go to bed at 7.45!! and 7year olds at 6.45, thats still tea time!
I run an out of school club and have 7 year olds picked up at 6 for a half hour journey home!

HeCantBeSerious · 04/09/2016 21:52

We don't eat till 7:30pm at the earliest!

Artandco · 04/09/2016 21:54

My 5 year old goes to bed at 9pm. However in holidays he goes when he likes ( as does 6 year old). They also choose to go to bed earlier on days they are tired earlier

At 13 years I agree with phone etc out by x time, but then I think it's up to them when they sleep. They need to learn that super later bed has concequences in that they will be more tired the next day. They need to be able to stay up reading in bed though if they like

Artandco · 04/09/2016 21:55

I cannot imagine 4/5 year olds asleep by 6.30pm. 6.30-7.30pm is dinner here. We are often not even home before then

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JessicasCrocodile · 04/09/2016 21:59

The nhs recommends 9 hours sleep for teenagers. So if he is getting up at 7am then sleep at 10pm is perfectly reasonable. And totally agree with no tech in the bedroom overnight. There was research out reasonably recently that showed teenagers were waking up and texting each other in the middle of the night without their parents knowledge, thus impacting both length and quality of sleep.

JemimaMuddledUp · 04/09/2016 22:03

YANBU.

My 12yo went to bed at 9:00, my 14yo at 9:30. Gadgets (phone, iPad etc) are left on the dining room table. They read for a bit, but I just heard 14yo switch his light off to go to sleep (at 10:00).

We'd never manage 7:00 bedtimes, we usually don't eat until then. My youngest is 10 and goes to bed at 8:30.

FeckinCrutches · 04/09/2016 22:03

I'm chuckling that you tuck him in

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