I know IABU, but....

(8 Posts)
Cherrysoup Sat 03-Sep-16 22:56:40

Inspired by someone who wants to see her mate without the DP having to be there, AIBU to want to see mates without their DC12 and 16? The children are lovely, incredibly well brought up, IMO, but occasionally, I would like to see my friends and not have to see their children also.

(Example, my friend wants to go swimming with me, but I know this will mean her DD will also come. I'm very body conscious and for context, I'm a teacher at her dc's school)

Is it a case of 'love me, love my DC? I don't think I've ever seen these friends without the DC also being there.

WorraLiberty Sat 03-Sep-16 22:59:29

I dunno. I'm just confused as to why no-one seems to actually talk to their friends about these things?

If you want quality time with a friend, whether that's without their DP or their DC being there, why not just say so?

ErrolTheDragon Sat 03-Sep-16 23:01:04

Of course YANBU. The conversation you have with kids present cant be the same as just with your friends.

BackforGood Sat 03-Sep-16 23:03:25

You aren't BU.
Having dcs there completely changes the dynamic.
I find it very odd that her 16 yr old and 12 yr old would want to come out with you - must be very unusual teens hmm

However, I agree with worra - why not just say this to your friend...."Next week I fancy a good old chinwag without the dc, do you fancy meeting for lunch, just the 2 of us?"..... is hardly a provocative or friendship breaking question.

willfuckformichilenstarfood Sun 04-Sep-16 07:51:40

Book a spa! Adults only xx

cosmicglittergirl Sun 04-Sep-16 07:58:23

YANBU. I'm always surprised people want to bring their kids along to a catch up. My friends (and I) never want to. Just say what Back suggested.

Cherrysoup Sun 04-Sep-16 10:42:08

They are unusual teens, maybe old fashioned is the word? The 16 yr old rushed back from being out with his friends to come out with us for dinner! They're very involved with each other, in a very loving and heartwarming way, it's just they're always there! I'm a teacher, so when I'm off, they're off.

cosytoaster Sun 04-Sep-16 10:46:19

YANBU - I always see friends on their own without DPs or DCs, it's a bit different when you have v young children but by the time they're at secondary school surely they should be socialising with their own friends.

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