..to think that dh is a bit of a twat, and that this is not necessary

(68 Posts)
hmcAsWas Sat 03-Sep-16 21:09:37

So dd has a pre -season football tournament tomorrow and dh is taking her - fine.

Ds would also be playing the first game of the season for his team tomorrow, but he has a broken toe and so he is out injured. Dh seems to think that it is some massive big bloody deal that I should take ds to go and watch his team mates play the game. Why? Who gives a damn! I wish them well as does ds, and we hope that they get a good result - but I have other stuff to do and don't see why its totally vital that I drive 15 miles to a game, stay and watch and then drive 15 miles back.

Time is precious and since during footie season dd plays every Saturday, and ds plays every Saturday AND every frigging Sunday (AND on top of this we are season ticket holders for our premiership club), I'm thinking how nice to take advantage of an enforced absence. If ds wasn't injured and was playing - naturally I would take him....but since he isn't, both of us are quite 'meh' about going and supporting (time involved around 3 hours). I doubt any of the players, the manager or the other parents will notice whether we are there or not, and certainly don't think they would be censorious about our absence...however dh is 'appalled' that I don't think it is necessary to take ds to watch. Dh is imo totally obsessed with football (I like football, but I have it in some kind of perspective)

So is ds being a massive twat or am I in the wrong?

Sorry if I sound a bit ranty but it helps to let it out grin

gleam Sat 03-Sep-16 21:12:29

Does ds like being in a team or is he playing because you're a football family?

I would be taking advantage of a day off.

SunnyBanker Sat 03-Sep-16 21:13:05

If ds really wanted to watch because it was an important match etc - I probably would. But ds would need to bring it up and ask/really want to. I wouldn't just take him iyswim.

I'm with you on the enforced footie absences. I have ds's aged 6 and 8 and actually do a mini victory dance when it's pissing down on a Saturday or Sunday morning - no football! grin

VeryBitchyRestingFace Sat 03-Sep-16 21:13:07

If your son doesn't want to go, what's the point?

It's only the 1st game of the season, not the championship decider. hmm

hmcAsWas Sat 03-Sep-16 21:14:27

He loves playing in a team - and plays for two (hence the Sat and Sun games), but he is happy not to go and watch his team (he would rather be playing, but since he can't a day chilling at home is preferable)

EllaHen Sat 03-Sep-16 21:14:49

No way would I go. Jeez, weekends are short enough. Total twat.

hmcAsWas Sat 03-Sep-16 21:16:08

I think you've clinched it here VBRF - as far as dh is concerned every game is the 'game of the season' hmm - I think he lives vicariously through the childrens football

ThoraGruntwhistle Sat 03-Sep-16 21:19:36

If neither you not your DS mind missing it, your DH should mind his own business. He's not going either way so why does it concern him?

I think I'm quite glad my DH is indifferent to football, it sounds exhausting.

SunnyBanker Sat 03-Sep-16 21:21:53

To answer the question - your dh is BU. If you push a dc too hard at something there's more chance they'll lose interest IMO.

AlfrescoBalconyWanker Sat 03-Sep-16 21:25:49

If your DH is that bothered why doesn't he go and leave you to take your DS to watch your DD play?

hmcAsWas Sat 03-Sep-16 21:28:15

That's not the half of it Thora - full on argument with dh recently because he had forgotten that my niece, her husband and baby were coming to stay last weekend which meant us missing the Southampton versus Sunderland home game. I wouldn't mind but when the visit date was agreed the football fixtures had not at that stage been scheduled (so I selected what I thought would be a free weekend - which are as rare as hens teeth), plus surely seeing my great nephew trumps football (you would think!)

I am starting to really resent football - he is turning me off it

SpookyPotato Sat 03-Sep-16 21:36:12

He is being a bit over the top if DS doesn't want to go... Go with what your son wants!

NeedsAsockamnesty Sat 03-Sep-16 21:39:32

I used to be married to a bloke who if he saw a match between the cast of Ben and holly and in the night garden would insist on watching it because it would be currently the most important game of the season.
He was a wanker

RunningLulu Sat 03-Sep-16 21:40:05

I'd personally take him even if he doesn't want to go, even if it's just for a bit. Being part of a team is about more than just teamwork on the pitch.

LittleBeautyBelle Sat 03-Sep-16 21:40:19

You and ds need a day off and just relax at home. Say no, we both want to enjoy this day at home while we can and ds can nurse his foot and have a chance to breathe. Your dh needs to get over it.

We used to have season tickets to football and basketball, and while I enjoyed going sometimes, I came to resent having to go to every single game, it took up several days a week. Finally after years of this I said, I'm done, you've put me off of sports completely, no more season tickets. So now we watch from home or go to an occasional game, dh is ok with it in fact, he has put sport into more of the perspective it needs to be in and it's not an issue at all anymore.

hmcAsWas Sat 03-Sep-16 21:42:00

RunningLulu - its always good to hear an alternative perspective. Dh would applaud you wink

hmcAsWas Sat 03-Sep-16 21:43:13

"We used to have season tickets to football and basketball, and while I enjoyed going sometimes, I came to resent having to go to every single game, it took up several days a week. Finally after years of this I said, I'm done, you've put me off of sports completely, no more season tickets"

Funny you should say that - I said just this to dh today, i.e. no season ticket for me next year

Jankwrs1 Sat 03-Sep-16 21:45:45

Always took injured son to support his team mates. But we are a footballing family.

hmcAsWas Sat 03-Sep-16 21:48:37

Okay Jankwrs, fair enough, but did you have both days of every weekend September to April/ May fully taken up by football, or did you get at least one free day at the weekend without a football fixture?

purplefox Sat 03-Sep-16 21:49:24

Why drag your DS somewhere he doesn't wantto go for no real reason?

Naicehamshop Sat 03-Sep-16 21:50:51

He doesn't get to tell you what to do. End of.

pictish Sat 03-Sep-16 21:51:44

I think your dh is being really pushy! He might be obsessed with football but that's his problem...it doesn't mean you and your son have to be too. He's forcing it on you inappropriately. Won't your son's team wonder what the fuck he's doing there if he can't play?
It's a hobby, not a lifestyle. Your dh needs to gain some perspective and respect for your time.

rosesarered9 Sat 03-Sep-16 21:52:03

So is ds being a massive twat or am I in the wrong?
Is that meant to say DH?

dalmatianmad Sat 03-Sep-16 21:53:04

I think it will be nice to support the rest of the team but if ds doesn't want to go then I would be staying at home and chilling smile

Bathsheba Sat 03-Sep-16 21:54:13

My dd played rugby for our local team- she broke her arm in a tournament but we went to cheer on at the next event because it was important to her to cheer on her team mates.

My DH has a season ticket for out local (Scottish Ptemier League) team and has gone through every birth, early year and crisis of our 3 children. I really don't understand how your niece visiting affects his attendance at the football - although I will admit it took me a number of years to accept this from my DH

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