I've been with my partner for nearly 10 years, we had a baby last year and we should be stronger than ever, but we're not.
All hell has broke loose and my partner has been screaming at the top of his lungs at me, calling me the c word, a scum bag, a cheat, a liar, you name it he probably said it. I had to call my mum round to try and see if she can be a mediator, things got that bad.
I returned to work 4 months ago and the week I returned someone in another department who I speak to and get on with was leaving so he invited pretty much the whole company to his leaving do. When I told my partner I was going along with literally my entire department and loads more, he got VERY funny and asked why I'm so close with this guy to be invited, I've been on mat leave so why would he want to invite me. I pointed out that everyone has been invited, also that I do speak to this guy and everyone in our department does. One of the girls and her hubby actually go for drinks with this guy and his partner, another girl in our department has been for drinks with him alone outside of work. He's a very friendly and lovely bloke. Men and women can get along without it being sexual.
Anyway the guy booked a hotel room that night because he lives in a different city to where he worked and couldn't get a taxi back, so he and others all got a room. My partner got wind of this and accused me of probably going to his hotel room on the night, I said don't be so stupid. The day after the night out someone uploaded a load of Facebook pictures of everyone doing silly poses and generally having a great time. On there was a pic of me and this guy, doing a thumbs up pic and smiling. When my partner saw it he kicked off big time and asked why we were standing so close together, that our faces were touching at the sides and he just went mental. It caused arguments that went on for DAYS.
This guy then messaged me on Facebook a picture of his new cat that he bought his fiancé, we started having a right old chit chat and talking about his new job etc. This also tipped my partner over the edge and we got into more arguments. About a month later, this guy messaged me again and again it was random chit chat, he asked how my little girl was and told me he and his fiancé are now trying for their first etc. After that I deleted the conversation in case my partner ever saw that I've been talking to him again, it just isn't worth the hassle. But then he got my phone and checked my messenger and saw that the conversation has been deleted and accused me of cheating etc.
After that the guy randomly deleted from my Facebook. I think it was my partner.
Everything was fine for weeks until today.
Works night out last night, all of the people who went last time came out and the guy who left came out because for him it was a catch up with all of his old mates etc. We all had a great time and all was good. I found myself on edge the whole night in case someone tagged me in any statuses with this guy or uploaded some pictures with him or any other guys from my work in the back ground. I literally bit my nails down because I was so worried and on edge. So I deactivated my fb account to avoid this. So my partner has obviously searched for me on fb and has found I'm not on there and asked why. When I told him that's when he started his nasty rant at me infront of my daughter who was beside herself she didn't understand why daddy was shouting so loud and was really upset. He said I'm dodgy, a cheat, a scum bag. I've ruined his life apparently, he's wasted 10 years on me, we are over etc. This went on for ages and he just wouldn't let me explain.
Now that I have he doesn't understand. Doesn't get that he's pushed me to do this because I'm so scared and worried. He thinks I am
A compulsive liar and all the rest of it. He wants nothing to do with me and if I am honest I'm not so sure myself. I can't go on with my life like this not being able to be around other men, or even talk to one. My sister works with all blokes and they go for currys and nights out regularly, I envy her freedom sometimes. I just want things to be normal.
Is he controlling me, or am I unreasonable?
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AIBU?
Am I being controlled?
40 replies
Ohsotired123 · 03/09/2016 19:03
OP posts:
NavyandWhite ·
03/09/2016 20:30
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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