AIBU to think the pets want me gone?

[TheZombiesAreComing809]

I swear I am either the clumsiest person existing or the animals ( 1 cat and dog ) are plotting! I came in from the kitchen with I nice hot cuppa and dog was laying in the way so I tried to do big step over him to avoid treading on him so what does he do quick as you like jump up and run away of course! then the cat had a cheeck and ran in front of me as well ( probably trying to catch the dog but whhy??)...Now the cat is trying to get my split drink and the dog is giving me the evils ( I mean how dare I wake him from his nap! )

[Pineappletastic]

YANBU. Ours (1 dog, 2 cats) get me (almost 38 weeks pregnant) on the stairs.

[iPost]

It's evidently a worldwide plot.

Last night Old Dog decided to lie in just the right position to maximise the chances of me stumbling about in the dark to the loo, tripping over him and going head first down the (hard, stone) stairs.

Luckily he was snoring loudly, thus alerting me to the cunning booby trap in front of me.

[Cocklodger]

My cat.
The little fucker!
she's a kitten (10 weeks) but has this thing where WHILE I'M WALKING she'll either
A- attack my foot/leg.
B- run/walk around my legs in a figure 8 fashion.
9/10 ends in me stepping on her (accidentally) and her acting the wronged party or me falling on my face.
Bitch.
YANBU at all

[iPost]

cocklodger

That's not a kitten gone rogue, that's a kitten gone kitten.

[Andrewofgg]

cocklodger Your cat is a bitch?

Just remember the two rules:

1. Moggy is right.
   
2. If Rule 1 does not apply, Rule 1 does apply.

[KittensWithWeapons]

Oh yeah. The HellKitties totally want me dead. Number 1 resents me for getting in the way of her relationship with DP . She believes him to be hers, and hers alone. She often tries to turf me out of the bed, and last night when I snuggled up to him on the sofa she howled at me and gave me serious evil eyes. She tries to kill me on the stairs every morning.

Numbers 2 and 3 are less murderous, but like to fling themselves at my bare feet when walking around and chomp down on my toes. They've also made a few attempts at exsanguinating me. I actually have a scar from one of their slashes on my wrist, that genuinely makes me look like I tried to slit it.

They keep me around because I feed them. If they figure out that if they bump me off they can feast on my flesh, I'm a goner!

[Cocklodger]

Yes, my cat IS a bitch. Not a female dog, The urban dictionary definition