To be annoyed about name shortening

(17 Posts)
Nelleflowerpot Fri 02-Sep-16 12:02:23

Probably am being unreasonable here but need to let off steam.
It's DC birthday and as usual mil and SIL have sent cards and presents using a shortening of DC name think Cece for cecelia or fifi for Felicity type thing. We use the full name. Always use the full name when talking about DC or writing a thank you or sending email etc.
just fed up and feel they are just doing it to annoy me now.
DH did on the day DC was born use the shortening apparently ( i.e. Said Little Fifi type thing) but that's it.
So how do I stop them ? Think I may start to shorten SIL children's names to make a point although a little childish. The thing is DC would not even respond to the name they use!
Go on tell me I'm being irrational DH has! X

AnnaT45 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:04:12

Have you a told them you'd prefer them not to use it?

AnnaT45 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:04:33

Have you a told them you'd prefer them not to use it?

HandmaidsTail Fri 02-Sep-16 12:04:40

I don't think you can, realistically, tell people what they are allowed to call members of their own family.

That's nicknames for you. They're organic and personal. They're not to be decreed for all time by the person who gave birth to you.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:05:51

Yanbu. My dd has a name that can be shortened and I just tell people she gets her full name. Its her name. Just correct them jokingly if they use less than the full one. Send a thank you card from full name underlined!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:07:16

Can't they call her an affectionate name?

drinkingtea Fri 02-Sep-16 12:07:18

Of course ypu are being irrational, though its something a lot of people gst worked up about. You will need to unclench about shortnings as your DC gets older (presumably she is still very young for you to still believe youcan stop her name bring shortened).

I can see it would be irritating if you really think they are doing it to annoy or undermine you, but in that case you've probably got bigger in-law problems of which this is just a tiny detail, is that the case?

TaterTots Fri 02-Sep-16 12:10:40

I personally don't like it. I had a boss years ago who insisted on shortening everyone's names, presumably because it made him feel like he was a Dave Brent style 'I'm a mate who just happens to be the boss' type. It drove me mad because the shortened form of my name is for family use only.

Your child can decide for herself if she wants to be Jess rather than Jessica (for example) later on. Until then, you pick her name.

RunningLulu Fri 02-Sep-16 12:12:06

YABU. Nicknames are organic and nothing to do with parents unless they're derogatory.

madein1995 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:34:38

YANBU. You called them cecicila not cec (as an eg), that is the name on their birth certificate and until they decide themselves it's your choice. My names hyphenated (think Jamie-leigh ~ not really name!) And mum had no problem with people calling me Jaim. She hated people calling me the Jamie and not the other part. fair enough, my name is unusual and I like it. As a child she trained me to say ' my name isn't Jamie it's Jamie Leigh' and it worked. nowadays I don't mind being called jaim, and I put up with Jamie cos its easier for others and I seem petty otherwise. I'd like to be called either jam or the full name, I'm not confident though. I like having an unhsual name - never met anyone by same name before

manyathingyouknow Fri 02-Sep-16 12:37:34

Why do people not just say their child's name? Unless it's Ptolemy I'm not sure you're going to be outed. Gaaaaaah it really annoys me grin

I wouldn't worry about it OP. It's a nickname, not the end of the world

madein1995 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:38:11

My mother stills try to stop it even now, it's rather funny. If someone mentions half my name, she calls me the full bit under her breath. She did this to my boss once!

TaterTots Fri 02-Sep-16 12:55:18

It's really rude to shorten someone's name unless you know they like being called that. When I first met my colleague Michael I asked if he preferred Mike or Michael. He said, 'I don't mind... Michael, I suppose'. I took this to mean, 'Call me Mike and I'll silently hate you forever'.

BackforGood Fri 02-Sep-16 13:11:53

YWBU to have given your dc a longer name, if it was going to irritate you when people shorten it. You might be able to be huffy and make a point with your MiL and SiL, but you won't control all school mates, friends (and adults) from all activities they attend, college mates, and their friends in adult life.
Be the bigger person - call your dc what you want, ignore the fact they use a shortened version, and be appreciative your dc has extended family that care enough to send cards, keep in touch, etc.

phillipp Fri 02-Sep-16 13:20:05

Yabu. Especially if you haven't actually told them and assuming they do it to annoy you.

Your dh called her that name himself, that's why think there is no issue with it.

Personally we stayed away from certain names, because we didn't like the shortened version. As they get older they may prefer the short version. Every Christopher I know prefers Chris. I can't stop that it stop what their friends use when they are older.

Tbh I can't see why this upsets people so much. If you Dd hates it when she is old enough to understand, fair enough.

Kangamum Fri 02-Sep-16 13:36:12

This irritates me also. My DD has an unusual name for a girl. I haven't heard of a single other girl with her name. It's two syllables so not long. Some family started calling her a two syllable nickname when she was born. I made it clear I really didn't like it, and to please stop it. Especially as you aren't actually shortening it! It takes the same amount of time to say. And I just didn't like the nickname either. It turns from a unusual girls name to a very common one.

MeMeMyMyandMine Fri 02-Sep-16 13:40:48

Don't give yourself too much of a headache over it. 'A rose by any other name' etc. If there are no other problems in your relationship with the in-laws then I would just let this one go. If you have other problems with them not respecting your wishes then address that of course.

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