Losing touch

(5 Posts)
libertysilk Thu 01-Sep-16 09:20:35

Been friends with a woman for a few years, and always got on really well. She was in a violent relationship, so I helped her escape into a hostel with her two children. She was getting her life back together, and I visited her and the children after she had settled into the hostel. Heard from a mutual friend she'd moved into a house, and got back with her partner. Her partner really dislikes me.
She's just contacted me via facebook. Saying she misses me and would like to see me and the children.
I'm really insulted that after a year, she gets in touch saying she misses me. I thought we were friends. I totally understand she had to get away, and kind of knew she'd get back with her partner.
AIBU to not want to be friends with her again?

pieceofpurplesky Thu 01-Sep-16 09:21:58

You don't know what she has been through in this year. Meet her and hear what she has to say. She will need her friends

HereIAm20 Thu 01-Sep-16 09:49:15

There was probably a certain amount of pressure from her partner not to be in touch with you as he probably considered you to be instrumental in helping her "escape". But also she may have been incredibly embarrassed at having gone back when you had helped her and knew the full story etc. She may have thought (wrongly) that you'd judge her for going back.

It sounds like she misses your friendship as much as you miss her. try to forgive her and get back in touch. But decide whether you want to make it clear that you don't want to hear about any relationship issues or not and let her know from the outset.

Happyinthehazeofadrunkenhour Thu 01-Sep-16 10:08:50

YABU. Give her a chance to explain.

libertysilk Thu 01-Sep-16 10:18:37

I knew she would get back with her partner. I'd never judge her for it, and told her so. I guess it hurts that she stayed in contact with mutual friends. Its been a year since I heard from her.
I saw the bruises on her, the anger displayed in her children, heard about and saw her being abused. It was awful.
I care about and missed her too. But, I'm really mindful of history repeating itself.

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