Giving my opinion....

(22 Posts)
norabattyapparently Wed 31-Aug-16 23:46:09

This is more of a WIBU than AIBU.
Shortened backstory - a married associate was having an affair with a married man - lived on same estate. Now shacked up together and broadcasting their love at every opportunity. There are children on both sides who are old enough to understand the situation.
Any ways group chatting at weight loss club - the married associate was there slagging off her DP exw saying she was bitter and twisted and it's her fault her new DP doesn't bother with his DC anymore and is focusing his energies on his new SDC, and that the kids bickering between themselves about this is the exw fault and hers only. He isn't paying her a penny of maintenance because she's such a bitch and won't let them get on and be happy. My opinion must have been written on my face because she outright asked me 'so what do you think then?' (Very attitudey tone)
To which I responded -
'X should be fighting tooth and nail to be a father to his Kids - his exw is obviously going to be hostile towards him atm but he shouldn't be neglecting his own children and focusing on yours especially when they are witnessing their dad playing stepdad to your kids. Passing the buck and blaming his exw is just a cop out to avoid paying his way and standing up to his responsibilities IMO' (not exact words but the gist)
All of a sudden I'm a nosey fucking bitch who is jealous of their relationship and need to keep my fucking mouth shut! hmm
Quite a few of the group chatting were hmm but it was ME she asked directly. WIBU to have given my opinion and not just shrugged my shoulders?

maddening Wed 31-Aug-16 23:52:10

The stupid cow did ask and deserved to hear it imo

norabattyapparently Wed 31-Aug-16 23:56:50

My thoughts exactly. And I won't lie her brazen attitude has been grinding my gears for a couple of weeks. Having an affair is one thing. Basically rubbing it in the face of the ex wife and children is disgraceful and shows what little decency they have tbh.

Birdsgottafly Wed 31-Aug-16 23:58:51

YANBU.
I'd have answered that her fella needs to pay for his kids and why he's not doing that, then they can't expect anyone to keep their mouth shut.

CafeCremeEtCroissant Thu 01-Sep-16 00:00:55

Well done you I say. Her plan to 'get you inside' back fired. No less than the stupid bint deserves.

CafeCremeEtCroissant Thu 01-Sep-16 00:02:02

Fucking iPhone. ONSIDE. Not inside, that'd be well weird!!

Tomselleckhaskindeyes Thu 01-Sep-16 00:03:01

Well telling the truth hasn't won her over. Oh well doesn't look like you are missing much eh? Good on you OP. Sometimes you just need to say what you think. grin

Tomselleckhaskindeyes Thu 01-Sep-16 00:06:02

Just thinking we could hire you out. My friend needs someone to have a word with her ex. I can't do it as it could affect divorce proceedings but you could have a stern word. grin

norabattyapparently Thu 01-Sep-16 00:08:04

I just cannot fathom how someone can be so blasé about ruining TWO marriages and families, emotionally affecting several children and for what? Something which won't end well because let's be honest one of them will end up cheating soon enough. Wish I'd have gone to town on her now the more I think about it - he's got such little regard for his own DC yet she's saying what a fabulous step dad he is and will always be to her kids?? Deluded woman.
I must say the exw seems to be keeping herself to herself from what I've seen - good on her when they're clearly trying to get a rise out of her (think public FB posts, PDAs at every opportunity) the conversation tonight will get back to her. Maybe she'll hi five me when she sees me grin

MinonsMovie Thu 01-Sep-16 00:10:32

Sounds like they are two narcissists and they will destroy each other once the novelty of being talk of the town wears off.

Ugh.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Thu 01-Sep-16 00:21:28

I'd high five you and offer you cake tbh if I was the ex wife. Good on you.

hazeimcgee Thu 01-Sep-16 00:26:30

She's at weight loss class, cake would be mean.

Well done you for not pandering to her selfishness. It' do her good to hear the truth.

High five and an apple

norabattyapparently Thu 01-Sep-16 00:29:22

I'm actually on target - cake would be good grin
I'm feeling a sense of self righteousness now, although I'm sure the brazen bitch and her friends will be out to lynch me tomorrow. Can't say I care tbh - anyone who can brag about causing hurt and upset to anyone let alone children deserves everything they get.
I've heard he likes to keep it in the family - serve her right if he leaves her for her younger better looking sister won't it!!

ArmySal Thu 01-Sep-16 00:36:27

If she was actually audacious enough to claim he shouldn't be bothering with his children to concentrate on his step-children I'd have torn a strip off her.

Luckily I've never met anyone that stupid or brazen in my life.

norabattyapparently Thu 01-Sep-16 00:47:33

Everything is the exw fault apparently hmm I laughed out loud when she said (prior to involving me directly) 'so and so said she'd been slagging us off to them, calling him a dirty dick bastard and me a dirty slag I mean where does she get off calling us anything the bitter twisted old boot' shock

WomanFromAnotherPlace Thu 01-Sep-16 01:06:21

For fucks sake, what did she expect you to say!?
'Oh yeah, what a bitch. She needs to get over it and accept he has moved on?'
Well done to you for telling her exactly what you (and most others) were thinking. Funnily enough, I used to work with a woman who had a similar situation (got into a relationship with a man with gf) and told us about the 'dramas' that his exgf were causing on a daily basis. When I responded one day to her by telling her, in no uncertain terms, that she was coming across as an apathetic bitch, and her bf sounded like a loser with a habit of ditching their families for a new gf, she screamed at me to mind my own business and "You don't know anything about my relationship so how can you fucking comment?".

He dumped her a week later. She constantly cried, bitched and snapped at everyone, meanwhile I tried my best to hide my smirks.

So no, you definitely was not BU!

norabattyapparently Thu 01-Sep-16 09:31:24

Thanks everyone!! Don't think she will ask for my opinion ever again grin

redexpat Thu 01-Sep-16 11:10:20

Bloody well done!

norabattyapparently Sat 03-Sep-16 19:56:50

Update: cheeky bitch 'accidentally' posting in a public local FB group with a post about her lovely BF and how fab he is with her kids. The guy hasn't seen his own kids or given his exw a penny for weeks so Ive heard. And Knowing how many people in the group will gossip and talk to the exw about it took a good while to delete the 'accident'. SHAMELESS doesn't even come closeconfused

hazeimcgee Sat 03-Sep-16 20:31:05

So sad when there's kids in the middle of all this

Tiptoethr0ughthetulips Sat 03-Sep-16 20:40:30

YANBU. Shame that nobody else who raised eyebrows backed you up. She asked you and you told her the truth.

norabattyapparently Sat 03-Sep-16 22:23:18

It's the kids I feel for. If it were my kids' who's noses she was rubbing in this I know what I'd have done to her by now, she's lucky the exw has a level o self control

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