MIL took back offer

[Crazycatlady123]

Beginning of the year after moving to our first proper home, my MIL insisted she wanted to buy our pram for us when we we got pregnant. She has separated from my FIL and they're selling the house, but she offered after this all happened when we had started trying.

I'm 4 months pregnant, and lo and behold, she can no longer afford to buy our pram. I feel like it's all BS, her life is and will continue to be comfortable after moving. What winds me up even more is that she's like 'oh you must buy this make/that make' etc, at expensive options we can't afford.

It's not like we can't afford to buy a pram ourselves we're just more limited with what we can afford, but I'm pissed off that she offered in the first place then took it back. It would be a different story if it were for her 25 yr old daughter, who has always been spoilt and more favoured child of their family.

AIBU?

[Jonso]

YABU
Let it go

[pinkpeter1]

Well if she can't afford it she can't afford it. You sound like a right spoilt brat.

[Floralnomad]

YABU , you sound very bitter .

[dowhatnow]

YANBU to be disappointed as she shouldn't have offered in the first place but I don't think the pram is the real issue. I think you are pissed off with her in general.

Take her with a pinch of salt in the future. Don't expect anything of her and then she won't disappoint. It'll be her loss.

[Omgkitties]

My mil has always done shit like this. We just don't rely on her anymore.

[Cozytoesandtoast00]

You sound like a very angry person.
Relax. Maybe try meditation.

[PotteringAlong]

Yup, YABU. When you talk about more limited options I guess you were going to buy a really really expensive one. If mil cannot afford to spend thousands on a pram she can't afford it.

[Jonso]

It's upsetting but if you let family dynamics draw you in it'll mar your pregnancy. Look forward to the baby! Focus all of your attention on your partner and pregnancy and be happy.

[allthecarbs]

Yanbu but you need to let it go.

Ignore her advice, you don't need to follow any of it if you don't want to.

[Tiptoethr0ughthetulips]

YABU. Buy your own pram and learn from this experience, she isn't reliable.

[Trifleorbust]

She can't afford it. End of story.

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

Yabu about the pram. People say all sorts of things about future events. She wasn't to know what her finances would be like when you got pregnant.

It sounds like the 'favouritism' with her dd is the issue for you really though.

[TikTakTok]

Sorry but YABU.

[AyeAmarok]

YABU.

She offered, that was kind. She no longer feels like she can afford it, so she's given you a heads up.

You shouldn't plan a baby relying on other people to help fund it.

Don't be so entitled.

[Rainbowunicorn71]

You're disappointed I get that, but honestly you have no real idea about her finances. Maybe she has debts you don't know about or had an unexpected bill? Or made the offer thinking you'd get pregnant in a couple of years rather than now? Or maybe she didn't realise how expensive they are?

Anyway, I'd let it drop and buy a pram you can afford. I have little sympathy with people who insist on the latest designer baby stuff.
I bought a lovely pram for £40 off eBay. My ds lived to tell the tale

[LanaorAna1]

YANBU. Don't believe any more offers and tell her firmly you can't afford expensive makes when she starts. Congrats on the babe.

[BalloonSlayer]

Well maybe she thought it would be about £100 and someone has told her that the latest prams are all £400+ and she's horrified and backpedalling.

[SlowJinn]

It's probably the cost of the latest prams that has had her withdrawing the offer. The days of a cheap fold up pushchair for less than £50 are gone. Try to see it from her point of view and don't be bitter, for the sake of your baby. She will be its grandmother and possibly a brilliant one.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

[Horsegirl1]

It's a shitty thing to do op. I'd be so pissed off also. Yanbu . I'd buy my own pram and then when she wants to see dgc I'd be otherwise engaged or have plans ! Mils are just a bloody nightmare in my experience. I'd be so embarrassed at having to retract such a genorous offer. Good luck with baby op

[MLGs]

Yanbu about the trying to tell you which pram to get if she's not buying it. You buy the one you want/ can afford.

[KERALA1]

People backing out of things makes others very cross. I don't think Yabu.

My in laws promised us childcare for my sisters child free wedding - we asked 6 months in advance. It meant a lot to us, all our usual help at the wedding. Our 2 dc very easy. They had never done anything to help us before then.They pulled out a week before with a really laughably lame excuse. Our relationship was on shakey ground anyway but for me that was the last straw.

[heyday1]

Is your DH more or less pissed off than you?

[ZippyNeedsFeeding]

Unfortunately you have been let down a bit, but at the one time when raging hormones and general pregnancy stress make you the least able to just shrug and move on.
For what it's worth, I was inconsolable when MrZippy changed his mind and said we didn't have enough money to buy the one bit of baby tat I'd set my heart on for our first baby (I think it was a baby gym thing, but the exact tat is forgotten even though the drama remains in my memory!). I was convinced my poor baby would have NOTHING and it would all be a DISASTER and the world was about to END! All nonsense of course, but it just felt that way.
I would agree that taking whatever your MIL offers with a pinch of salt in future may be wise. She probably thought she would be able to afford it and maybe didn't realise how much prams can cost these days. I suppose it could be a sign of worse to come, but if she isn't generally controlling then I'd let it slide. It's okay to say you don't want to discuss prams right now when she wants to give you advice though, and probably better for your blood pressure!