to ask if this is usual - unsettled after room change in nursery

[cjt110]

-posted in chat over an hour ago but no replies so posting here for traffic-

My son, 2, has just moved into the next room at nursery which is for 2-3 year olds. He is a very confident little boy most of the time, very headstrong and also independent. He has suffered from separation anxiety associated with me since around 10 months old. This would occur initially when I would drop him at nursery then spread to when I dropped him off at my parents (He is there 3 days a week and nursery 2 days), and furthermore to when I would just leave the room.

It had started to get better recently where I could drop him off without him getting upset and reaching to me.

I have noticed since going into the bigger room, he is upset but in a different way., Before he would cry instantly on hearing me getting ready to go, and try to reach up to me. Lately, he will be in the arms of one of the nursery staff and his bottom lip will quiver and he will cry with tears and grab out to me holding on very tight. Or sit on my knee to stop me leaving.

He has played with the bigger toddler room kids whilst in the smaller toddler room an knows the staff very well - one of which has been with him since he started at 6m old and coincidentally moved into the small toddler room when he did.

He is fine a few minutes after I go - I have stayed where he cannot see me and seen this myself - but the change in how he reacts has upset me. Is this normal?

[FantasticMax]

I think it's normal to be unsettled by a change - perhaps he's not ready for the new room yet? Either the nursery isn't handling the transition very well, or 2 days a week at nursery is not enough to settle him there.

[cjt110]

He's been in that room during the afternoons for some time as he has dropped his afternoon nap.

[itoldyouyouwouldntlikeit]

Mines just moved up a room - she's 3.5 and she was clinging onto me this morning. So I would say it's not unusual. It took her a while to get used to nursery in the first place and the change in teachers is unsettling for her

[zofranks]

totally normal, my dd was at the same nursery from 6 months old, when she moved into the 2-3 room (and she knew all the staff & most of the kids) we went through hell, clinging, crying, not sleeping to the point that I went to see them thinking I was going to have to pull her out, 2 weeks after that she was fine again and we never went through that stage again. I think this room is pretty loud and they are all wanting attention - I just remember that room as being a wall of noise and activity.

hang in there. it gets better - I promise.

BTW my DD left yesterday, starts big school next week & is devastated she isn't going back there

[cjt110]

Thanks all. I was alarmed at the change in his upset to be actual tears and not just crying.

[insancerre]

Its totally normal
Its a new room new staff, new children and a new routine
Also, children pick up on their parents anxieties and for some children they do cry and become upset because they this k its what is expected of them. So it becomes a habit. And a vicious cycle. Parent is anxious so child becomes upset. Child is upset so parents becomes anxious

Its also quite normal for children to cry on drop off. It normally doesn't last !long. The trick is not to make a big deal out of it. Stay positive, keep smiling and never ask them what's wrong or what the matter is.

Hopefully the staff in the room will support you at drop off