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AIBU?

To be depressed at the blatant sexism in my office

96 replies

DraeneiMage · 30/08/2016 15:20

Just that really.

He's 19, 5 years younger than me (is that relevant?) been here 3 years less than I have and somehow he's worth more than me.

Must be cause I'm a woman.

I always forget sexism is a thing and then it smacks you in the face.

sigh

OP posts:

Report

HeCantBeSerious · 30/08/2016 15:21

Are you doing exactly the same job? Are you in a union?

redexpat · 30/08/2016 15:23

His age probably isnt relevant, but men are better at asking for more money, and if you dont ask you dont get. Is it possible that he generates more income for the company? Are you in exactly the same role?

DraeneiMage · 30/08/2016 15:26

We have an organisational chart which basically shows who is at what position in the company, I don't want to say much more but according to that chart he is 'below' me and would report to me if the first 2 people were unavailable.

OP posts:

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 30/08/2016 15:26

He isn't sexist he is just a young fool. He isn't fully cooked at 19 years of age.

DraeneiMage · 30/08/2016 15:26

I didn't mean he was sexist, I meant the MD who decided our wages was.

OP posts:

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 30/08/2016 15:28

He's on a better salary than you?

Acopyofacopy · 30/08/2016 15:31

Time to negotiate a pay rise (but don't say I want more than him!).

Stevefromstevenage · 30/08/2016 15:32

Go demand a payrise. Give 5 reasons why you deserve more money based on your role and responsibilities. Tell them you were speaking to a 'friend' who has a similar role and were surprised to hear they were on X money because you know you are a stronger candidate for that particular role than they are it is fiction you are not offending anyone

Those exact lines worked on every employer I have ever had in the private sector.

It is shit though. I agree.

DraeneiMage · 30/08/2016 15:34

Yes he's making (by my calculations) about 2/3k more than me.

I'm a wimp and I wouldn't know how to go about getting a pay rise. I'm very non confrontational.

Probably says it all really, just thought the length of time I've been here would reflect something.

OP posts:

wowfudge · 30/08/2016 15:37

Whatever you do, don't ask for more money based on what someone else earns. Ask for it based on your contribution and your value to the business.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/08/2016 15:39

Okay, firstly there's nothing to say that someone at a lower grade should earn less than someone at a higher grade. If salaries are negotiated individually then this can and does happen. You have no control over what your employers are prepared to pay him, only over what they pay you. It will take you demonstrating your value to the company to get a rise. If you can't be bothered or aren't assertive enough that isn't anyone else's fault. It's your choice.

Stevefromstevenage · 30/08/2016 15:41

Asking for a pay rise is not remotely confrontational. Seriously. Do it in the same tone as you might try to convince him why he might prefer one supplier over another. Worst thing happens is he says no and then you say 'thank you for considering my request, I will have to have a think about what we discussed' and leave the room.

user1471517900 · 30/08/2016 15:46

So.....not sexist. While I have sympathy with you here, there are plenty of things you could be doing about it. Playing the martyr card and pretending you can do nothing about it is not one. Take the advice above.

Stevefromstevenage · 30/08/2016 15:47

Wow I don't agree about not comparing your salary to others. So long as you are not speaking about someone within your organisation it is fine. For example I am an engineer. I always spoke about my made up classmate working for a main competitor and so I was just asserting the market rate in our area and telling my boss I was aware of it iyswim.

BorpBorpBorp · 30/08/2016 15:48

Your age and the amount of time you've been working somewhere don't dictate your position or your salary. You don't deserve more just because you've been there longer. Employers pay people based on how much it costs to keep them, which is a balance of how much the employee demands and how easy they would be to replace.

Men are more likely to demand more and negotiate harder.

IceRoadDucker · 30/08/2016 15:51

I just negotiated a new salary. It was hard, and went against all my instincts, but I kept asking myself, "What would a man do?"

You can do it, OP.

FlyingElbows · 30/08/2016 15:59

"Must be cause I'm a woman" sorry, op, but that sort of passive aggressive self pitying wallowing doesn't do the "sisterhood" any favours. Unless you have concrete evidence that tge company you work for is actively practising sex discrimination in regard to salaries then it's just speculation. There could be all sorts of reasons an employee younger than you is paid more. You use the phrase "by my calculations" do you actually know what this man is being paid?

Stevefromstevenage · 30/08/2016 16:01

Men are more likely to demand more and negotiate harder

Absolutely and to be honest I think this is where the OPs feelings of sexism come from. Women are socialised not to push forward more than men so it is very hard for them to do this. Still it must be done.

FullTimeYummy · 30/08/2016 16:08

"blatant sexism"

Jesus H. Christ

Trifleorbust · 30/08/2016 16:10

"Would you consider increasing my salary to X? I have done market research into similar positions/I am really pleased with what I contributed to the business this year, for example,.../I was expecting a pay rise of more like X, based on my performance and business performance."

If they say no, look for another job. Chances are, if they are happy to pay someone less experienced than you more than they pay you, they are either aware that they are underpaying you (and will give you an appropriate raise) or they don't rate you, in which case you should go somewhere where you are valued.

Word of warning: be honest with yourself about your performance and contribution. If you deserve more money, ask for it.

JellyBelli · 30/08/2016 16:11

Asking for a pay rise isnt being confrontational...

MLGs · 30/08/2016 16:16

I agree . Ask for a pay rise, based on what you are worth to the company and possibly fictional "market research".

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RebelRogue · 30/08/2016 16:19

Are you doing the exact same job,or is his role more specialised? For example a graphic designer would be "under" several people and report to all of them,but his work could be valued at a lot more,especially if his expertise is vast,and by hiring only him the company saves money they would send on hiring several people

Specialapplek · 30/08/2016 16:26

How do you know how much he earns? Why would you put it down to sexism other than he is younger and a different gender from you?

I have seen the following situations where younger/more junior people earn more:

They are lateral hires whose headhunters landed them very attractive packages
In sectors where new graduates salaries have increased at faster rates than yearly salary increases for existing employees

TheNaze73 · 30/08/2016 16:48

If it isn't performance related, then it's wrong. If it's performance related, then you have no argument.
Do you have access to HR to find out how pay rewards are calculated?

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